


The Seduction of John Sheppard

by Vanadis (VanadisV)



Series: Forty Eight Thousand Years [11]
Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Angst and Romance, Bathing/Washing, Bathtub Sex, Bathtubs, Biting, Bottom John Sheppard, Bottoming, Character Development, Comfort/Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Declarations Of Love, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub Undertones, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epic Love, Erotica, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time Bottoming, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Gay For You, Getting Together, Heart-to-Heart, Hot, Hot Sex, Hotel Sex, Jealousy, Kissing, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love Confessions, M/M, Makeup Sex, Male Slash, Military Homophobia, Misunderstandings, Passion, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Sex, Post-Canon, Post-Coital, Post-Coital Cuddling, Requited Unrequited Love, Resolved Sexual Tension, Role Reversal, Romance, Secret Relationship, Seduction, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Experimentation, Sexual Roleplay, Showers, Slash, Soulmates, Stargate, Team, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Tears, Tender Sex, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2018-12-19 07:23:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11892825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanadisV/pseuds/Vanadis
Summary: .After completing his mission, John returns to find there is much sex to be had! ...but it isn't easy having a secret relationship in the military..





	1. Only for you, Mere

**Author's Note:**

> .
> 
> If you are reading this as a stand alone story, John and Rodney's interactions may seem uncharacteristically happy and fluffy, but it's taken them a long time to get to this place -after much angst, misunderstandings, and unrequited pining... the changes and character development over time are explained in previous sections, as theirs is a love story of building intensity. 
> 
> Believe me, they deserved some fluffiness after all I've put them through :p  
> Writing the long background story in previous chapters so that it fit perfectly with existing canon created certain limitations. Thankfully, now they are free to get as gay as they want without guilt :) Yay!  
> .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _After being held apart in so many ways, for so long, John and Rodney resume the more carnal aspects of their relationship._  
> .

.  
.

  
Rodney follows John silently. Despite his rising panic, he strides behind, distantly enough to appear casually platonic to any observers. Reaching their destination he flits up a hesitant glance. John gives a polite nod as if they are saying goodbye for the evening rather than entering two rooms shared by a hidden panel door.

 

Rushing to the inside panel, it opens to John's deceptively calm face. Without knowing what to say, Rodney gapes wordlessly.

 

The stillness of John's expression makes something twist painfully inside Rodney. And the tension of the mood only thickens as he paces past him, slowly rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Slow and deliberate, finally John speaks, "So, just how many people know about us?"

 

"It uh, wasn't, I did mean to," Rodney babbles quietly, then stills his growing dread with a deep lungful, "Eight."

 

_'_ _Please John don't leave me, I didn't mean to-'_  Another breath and Rodney answers out loud in more detail, "Eight people. Ronan, Teyla, Carson, Jeannie, Dave, Jennifer, Daniel, and Vala.”

 

“Fuck.” John curses under his breath, “I don’t even know this woman.”

 

“I, uh, I-I’ve gotten to know Vala a bit.” Rodney’s voice shakes, “She's been discreet and Daniel vouches for her, but, I know, believe me, I know, it doesn’t change the fact that I fucked up and… I’m really sorry.” His voice cracks on the last syllable.

 

John spins back to Rodney, a storm of emotion now clouding his face; he gently takes Rodney’s hands in his, “Mere, I don’t blame you. It's not your fault. This whole situation is fucked, it always _has_ been.”

 

Closing his eyes wearily, John's heavy lids open again with shadows under his eyes, “You shouldn’t have to deal with this, with the way things are. I know you deserve someone who can give you more, something real."

 

Rodney’s stomach twists and knots in sharp jolts. John is leaving him over this; pulling away like he always does, retreating behind his fortifications where Rodney won't be allowed to reach him. Succumbing to his certain fear, the jumble of emotions become incoherent in his own mind.  _'Alone. Without John. The end of everything.'_

 

“Please, Em.” Rodney pleads as his hands cling desperately to John's, “Don’t go. I’ll be better. I’ll do anything to be with you." His pinched voice growing higher, “Please don’t go, please. It doesn’t matter how we have to live just as long as I have you, I love you, I-“

 

The torment spilling from him is stopped short by John’s embrace; a possessive arm wraps around his waist, the other lightly cradling his nape as John pulls him close, breath warm against his neck, “Mere, stop. God, I’d _never_ leave you, I'd do anything to be with you."

 

"I wish," Rodney can feel John's mouth grimace against his skin, "I just wish I could give you all the things you wanted because this, this is so much less than that." John pulls back, swiping his thumb over Rodney's creased brow, "I might not be able to marry you or give you a family but I'd give up everything else in this world to make you happy.

 

I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I’m yours and I love you..." John kisses the disappearing frown on his mouth until Rodney relaxes into the trust and safe knowing that John still loves him. "There, that’s better." 

 

Trying to return the favor and soothe John’s fears away, Rodney moves his hands over the worry lines edging John's eyes. He ghosts his fingers over John’s lips trying to tease them out of the firm pressed line. Reaching onto his tiptoes, he first kisses the crease in John's brow, then continues with featherlight caresses until their mouths fit together. That's when what's left of John's scowl releases as his lips fall into their natural pout, kissing him back.   

 

.

.

* * *

.

. 

 

John's body hums with desire, a rippling wash through his entire body. The color in the room swims and he goes hazy. Lost in the swirl of Rodney's tongue snaking and curling with his, it's taking him away; taking him almost beyond the deeper fear or doubt. 

 

He drinks in everything he can, absorbing the thrill of being with the man he loves. He could never let Rodney go, never live without him. His kisses are haunting and desperate, like a prayer, begging Rodney to let him be enough. 

 

.

.

* * *

.

.

 

The way John kisses Rodney, it's as if it will be the last kiss they will ever share. There is a kind of desperation to it. Like John blames himself for thinking he can't give Rodney what he needs, the way he blames himself for everything. Why can't John believe this is all he ever wanted? Rodney kisses his answers in return. I want you. Only you. You are mine.

 

He feels John taking it in, like he's been starving in a desert and coming back to life. Rodney needs John to feel it, to know this is real. Boldly dominant, he runs his hands up the inside of John’s shirt and possessively over his chest. Grinding his hips with the sexual charge, he lets John feel just how hard he is for him.

 

This isn’t how they usually play, and John starts a little.

 

Rodney laps at John's lower lip and bites it slowly. John shudders with a slight gasp and Rodney smiles, that gets him every time. Using the moment, he reaches down and palms John’s cock through his pants. He's just as hard and Rodney knows he wants it too.

 

Gripping it firmly with more confidence, he gives John an even look to let him know he's taking control. John blinks, questioning Rodney with his eyes and wondering if this is okay. But he lets Rodney take the lead as he comes back in for another deep kiss. John moans, touching Rodney‘s back more hesitantly now.

 

Running one hand over John’s chest, Rodney pumps John’s cock with the other. And John's shoulders slope into Rodney, letting him have his way with him.  

 

Catching John’s lower lip in his mouth again, Rodney whispers, “I’ve been thinking so much while you were away... About what I'm ready to do…”

 

“There are some things I can’t do yet…" He suckles along John’s jawline and neck, taking turns between kissing and speaking, "But there are other things I can do… things I want… things I want you to let me do to _you_ …”

 

Returning to John’s mouth, Rodney kisses him a few times sweetly before pushing harder, more insistently inside his mouth.

 

“Mmmm” John groans in surrender, his body pliant, knees trembling under Rodney’s touch. 

 

With a hand still gripping John’s cock, the other pulls John’s arm toward the direction of the bed “Will you let me?” 

 

“Oh God, Rodney.” John stumbles a few steps forward.

 

With a lustful look, Rodney keeps backing them up to the bed. John looks smitten and lets Rodney pull him down onto the mattress. He pushes John into the comforter, quickly pulling his own clothes off before climbing atop, and straddling him.

 

He has to feel John's skin on his and pulls his shirt up his chest. John’s mouth hangs open as he stares at Rodney’s thick cock lying across his stomach. Rodney rocks his pelvis so that he is massaging John’s dick with his ass. He squeezes his own cock and moves it along John’s lower abdomen.

 

Speechless, John simply gapes at Rodney in lust.

 

Pushing John’s shirt further up his chest, he gives a command, “Now take this off”.

 

Without thinking, John reaches up and pulls it over his head.

 

“Mmm… nice.” Rodney smiles in appreciation.

 

Rodney rolls forward, pressing his cock into John’s groin, “So nice.”

 

He trails his fingers down John’s neck and over his perfect chest, wondering if John’s nipples are as sensitive as his. Veering in that direction, Rodney takes one with his mouth, sucking and flicking it with his tongue. 

 

It doesn't seem to affect John as much as he thought it would but his chest flutters and he sighs as Rodney lavishes treatment on the other. Rodney takes the nipple in his fingers, holding it firmly while still grinding on him. John's breath is short and his eyes are half-slit, lost in the moment. 

 

Moving on to enjoy more of his body, Rodney pulses his cock into John’s as his mouth explores his neck. He licks behind the lobe and John inhales sharply. Rodney smiles and sucks it, then licks strategically in the hollow behind the ear. John writhes under him, much more responsive now. This pleases Rodney immensely, as he has always had a fixation with John’s ears.

 

“Pixie ears.” Rodney murmurs.

 

“What?” John's breath catches.

 

“You have cute pixie ears.” Rodney trails a finger behind his sensitive lobes.

 

“I do?” John's eyes widen looking up at Rodney with a boyish expression.

 

“Mmmm. And I’ve always loved them.” Rodney looks down at John with love. That boyish look John gets has always made his heart flip flop. God, he looks beautiful smiling like that, innocent and playful. 

 

John stutters out a sigh under Rodney's gaze, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself or how to process everything he's feeling. There are so many emotions in John’s eyes now, Rodney can’t even sort them all out. Happiness, lust, wonder, overwhelm, complete trust.

 

A startling realization hits him as he traces his fingers around John’s eyes, “They’re all gone.”

 

“What?” John asks gently.

 

“All your armored walls, your defenses…” Rodney exhales softly, “They’re all gone.”

 

“Only for you, Mere.” John's lashes blink up at Rodney with love.

 

“God, I love you.” Rodney leans down to take John's full mouth in his.

 

When Rodney gives John a chance to speak, he answers reverently, “And I love you, Mere." Cautiously reaching up to hold Rodney’s face in his hands, John slows down the seduction “Are you sure this okay with this?”

 

“I...I had this idea," Rodney gives John a slow kiss, "but I don’t know if you’ll like it -so maybe not…”

 

“What is it?” John smiles mischievously.

 

Rodney feels a little embarrassed trying to ask, “Well, since I can’t do some of the things I normally do, I was thinking about what I _could_ do, you know, without getting scared. I mean, it’s been over 5 months now since Carson gave me a clean bill of health...”

 

“What do you want to do, Mere?” John looks amused.

 

“Well, I don’t know…” Rodney hunches his shoulders a bit, “if you would ever let me… be inside you?”

 

He watches John closely to see the answer.

 

John has a shy, quiet look on his face. He closes his eyes submissively and nods without hesitation.

 

“Oh.” Rodney feels his cock throb seeing John’s reaction. He exhales in excitement.

 

Then he wonders.“Have you ever done that before?”

 

John looks shy again, lowers his eyes and shakes his head.

 

Now Rodney feels less sure of himself. What if he can’t make John feel good? …Or what if it even ends up feeling bad to him? He frowns and realizes John is watching his reactions just as closely.

 

“But I would, Mere, with you.” John looks intently at Rodney, his expression  innocent but sure, his face flushed and aroused.

 

“Oh…" Rodney feels his cock throb again, "Are you sure?”

 

“Yes.” John grabs Rodney’s face and pulls him into an insatiable kiss full of longing. He pulls away breathless for a moment, then back again, impatient for more.

 

As he moves his tongue in John’s mouth, Rodney imagines what it would be like to have John cum with Rodney’s cock in his ass. He grabs the back of John’s head and pulls into his full hair.

 

“Oh God, I want to fuck you so bad.” He moans in between kisses.

 

They are kissing so hard now, they are practically wrestling with each other.

 

When they come up for air, John tells him, “So, fuck me then.”

 

Hearing John say that, Rodney feels like he is going to cum right then.

 

Panting and pointing to John’s remaining clothes, he commands, “Take these off.”

 

John obeys and Rodney gets his lube and a hand towel out from the bed stand.

 

As John lies back on the bed, Rodney gasps. “God, you are so sexy.”

 

God. John’s body is so perfect. The long limbs and graceful curves, the muscles tight under his sun-kissed skin, His messy crop of dark hair, framing his boyish good looks, making him appears years younger than age.

 

Rodney admires the large hard cock falling into one of John’s legs. Part of Rodney wants to ravage John and fuck him hard, but this is John’s first time and Rodney wants it to be spectacularly good.

 

He wants John to know he is loved and to make him cum harder than he ever has before. John once had told Rodney that the blowjob Rodney gave him was the hardest he ever came. Rodney hopes he can break his own record.

 

“Mere?” “I don’t want to do anything wrong…” John looks questioningly at Rodney, he lifts his hands up, “Should I just keep my arms here?”

 

Thinking for a minute, Rodney tells him, “Yeah, unless I direct you otherwise.”

 

Returning his arms to his side, John nods.

 

Rodney walks to the bed and lowers himself on top of John. He brushes his lips across John’s brow, “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

 

He can feel John’s cock fluttering under him as Rodney takes his time adoring John’s face. He kisses John’s forehead, feeling the hair he loves so much brush against his cheek.

 

Combing his hand through the mane, he kisses along John’s jawline.

 

“I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to make sure you know you belong to me, the way you made me belong to you.”

 

“I’m going to make you cum so hard on my cock, that you won’t ever forget that you’re mine. I’m going to show you how much I love you.”

 

As he kisses John’s lips, Rodney can feel John’s cock throbbing under him. “I’m going to make you feel that.”

 

Taking John’s mouth with his tongue, he gives John a demonstration of what Rodney intends to do to him when he takes him. John moans and lets Rodney have his way with him.

 

Then Rodney kisses down John’s neck and then captures John’s arms with his hands. He pulls them up over John’s head and bites down on John’s shoulder hard enough to leave a mark. John cries out but doesn’t struggle.

 

When Rodney pulls his teeth away he growls possessively, “Mine.”

 

John’s cock twitches when he says it. Rodney moves his hands to touch John’s chest. And John passively keeps his hands above his head, right where Rodney left them. He works his way down John’s exquisite body worshipping every angle, every corner that may have been unexplored. Rodney laps at John’s stomach, hips, and his side.

 

He palms John’s ready cock and loves it. Normally he would have enjoyed sucking on it, but for now he massages it and strokes it. Rodney’s fingers explore the John’s inner thighs. Rodney takes a small diversion to run his fingers all the way down John’s legs. He wants to memorize every part this man.

 

Returning to John’s face, Rodney kisses him tenderly and trails his fingers around his eyes.

 

His hands still resting above his head, John looks up vulnerably at Rodney.

 

Oh God. The desire he feels is overwhelming. He kisses John hard, pulling him by the hair, back into the pillow. He sucks on John’s lips and gives a little bite.

 

John’s body trembles in anticipation. Rodney doesn’t want to make him wait any longer. He goes in for one more kiss and then grabs the lube and a pillow. Repositioning himself at the end of the bed, he motions for John to bring his knees up.

 

Now there is room for Rodney to climb onto the bed between John’s legs. He strokes John’s cock and lifts John’s ass to cup one of the cheeks, John lets Rodney position the pillow under him.

 

One of Rodney’s hands strokes John’s cock while he bites softly on John’s inner thighs. Enjoying the groans of pleasure coming from John, he runs the other hand over John’s ass and balls.

 

He gives John some time to enjoy the hand job, but doesn’t take John too far over the edge. John pushes his hips up, writhing and moaning. Rodney adds some lube to his hand.

“Okay, Em. I’m going to get you ready. When you feel me, I want you to push down, okay?

 

Pumping John’s cock, he places a finger at his entrance. Rodney pushes in and feels John opening for him. He waits a minute before moving his finger to stretch him. Rodney’s cock twitches thinking about how tight John is and the fact that Rodney will be his first.

 

Once, he has two fingers inside John he tells him, “I want you to feel something...There’s a spot here, I’m going to play with and make you feel good.”

 

John is nodding shyly again.

 

Rodney finds the prostrate and rubs his fingers over the spot inside John.

 

“Oh. Wow.” John bucks a little.

 

He slides his fingers lightly over the sensitive nerve endings and slows down his pace with John’s cock to make sure John doesn’t cum yet, “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

 

“Mmm. Mmm-Hmm.” Twisting and writhing, John still keeps his hands above his head, “Oh. Ahhh. Ughhhhh”

 

After letting John enjoy the sensation for a couple minutes, Rodney adds another finger to help him stretch, guiding John open and getting him ready to take Rodney’s cock.

 

Rodney can’t wait to fuck him, but he knows he is going to have to take his time getting it in, to make sure he doesn’t hurt John. He pulls his fingers out and generously applies lube to his cock, then moves up closer to John and lifts his legs to position his entrance with Rodney’s cock.

 

“I’m gonna fuck you, now.” Rodney tells him.

 

John’s eyes are wide and he stares for a moment with his mouth open, then he gives a quick nod.

.

.


	2. John's first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _Rodney takes John body and soul.  
> ._

.  
.  
Rodney hopes he isn’t spoiling the mood with too much talk, but he wants John to be to prepared, “Okay, I want you to push down, it’s going to feel weird at first -maybe hurt a little.”

 

He knows from experience, the first time is intense and Rodney wants make this as easy on John as possible. He wants to ease him into it, and start making him feel good. He pushes John’s knees back further, so he can lean over John’s face. 

 

Pushing a little at first, nothing happens. Rodney pushes harder and whispers on John’s lips, “Okay, Em, you need to push.” 

 

Pressing harder against John’s entrance, suddenly something gives and head of Rodney’s cock breaches the inner ring. 

 

“AAAHH!”, John cries out in pain. His hands are wringing themselves above him. 

 

“Okay. Okay. Now we just wait.” Rodney instructs him.

 

John’s eyes are big and blinking up at Rodney a little anxiously but they are filled with trust. As Rodney leans down and kisses John tenderly, one of his hands finds John’s half-hard cock. He strokes him skillfully, knowing that it may take some time before John is hard again. 

 

Jesus. Rodney is barely in and he can’t believe how tight John is. It’s going to be incredible being inside him. But he will be patient.

 

Rodney holds John’s lips in a sweet pucker and then releases them, “I love you.” He breathes softly.

 

John’s body relaxes, his hands go still, resting on the ledge of the headboard; his breathing slows, “I love you.” 

 

They kiss again, forgetting the main endeavor for a moment. Then Rodney pulls back enough to see John’s eyes and hold his gaze as he lets himself push into John further. God it feels so good. 

 

“Aghhh. Ohhhh” John’s eyes go wide in shock.

 

Watching John’s face, Rodney pushes again. He remembers feeling the first time. There was some pain, a feeling of intrusion, the strangeness of someone entering his body. 

 

Almost there, Rodney pushes one more time.

 

“Ughh, Oh. Oh. Oh!” John cries out, “Rodney?” 

 

“I’m right here.” Rodney stills himself, “We can stop if you want to.” 

.  
.

* * *

.  
. 

John frowns and closes his eyes. This is so intense. Hot, burning, electric currents shooting through him. He feels so vulnerable and uncomfortable. 

 

But it is Rodney and he trusts Rodney. John opens his eyes noticing that the burning sensation is starting to ebb. 

 

“This starts to feel good at some point?” He looks up at Rodney’s questioningly.

 

“Usually…” Rodney rest his brow against John’s and then trails slow kisses down his face, “the weird pain goes away.” 

 

The light kisses along his jaw and down his neck combined with the way Rodney is touching his cock make John fluttery and lightheaded. Then he starts to feel something different. The pain is receding, but there is pressure; a lot of pressure and intensity. 

 

Rodney is inside him. 

 

Rodney has his hard cock inside him. 

 

John feels an electric current from his balls into his belly. He could almost imagine having an orgasm. It has something do with the fact that it is Rodney inside of him. 

 

He blinks his eyes heavily and looks up at Rodney, “I want you to take me.” 

.  
.

* * *

.  
.  
Rodney shudders in pleasure and pushes himself all the way in, deep inside John. John doesn’t make a sound but winces and bites his lip. 

 

Wrapping his arms around John, Rodney pulls him close to him. They couldn’t be any closer physically now. With his cock is buried deep inside John, his bare chest is folded over John’s, he feels John trembling in his arms. 

 

The pain should have passed by now. Rodney is worried, “Am I hurting you?” 

 

“No.” John whispers, “It’s just so intense... and vulnerable -but it’s okay.” John continues, “Because it’s you.” 

 

“I want to make you feel good.” Rodney tells him as he gently laps at John’s lips.

 

“I trust you, Rodney” John’s eyes are soft. 

 

He keeps himself still inside John. Even without moving, it feels amazing being just inside him, Rodney is completely hard. Again he finds John’s nearly soft cock and begins to tease it back to life. Focuses only on kissing John and getting him hard again. 

 

John starts to moan with pleasure as Rodney’s hand pulses around his cock. He keeps his hands submissively above his head and lets Rodney dominate his mouth. 

 

Rodney feels an intense thrill. John is getting off on this. He decides to move himself just little bit inside John, just enough to remind John that he is impaled on Rodney’s cock right now. 

 

Timing it, he gives a small thrust with a strong flick of his wrist on John’s cock. 

 

John gives a low guttural moan, pleasure -definitely not pain. 

 

He keeps his cock still for a moment and then times another small thrust inside John. 

 

“Oh God.” John shudders, “God. Rodney.” 

 

Moving his head up for a better angle on John’s prostate. He plies John’s hard cock in his hand and starts to move gently inside John’s ass. He has to really concentrate not to cum right away. Nothing has ever felt as good as John’s tight ass. 

 

And John is writhing under him in pleasure, “Oh Jesus. Rodney. Oh fuck. What are you doing to me? Oh Fuck.” 

 

Even in Rodney’s wildest fantasies, nothing had ever been this hot. John’s bent knees are shaking and he completely under Rodney’s control. John seems like he might cum too soon if Rodney isn’t careful, so he slows the pace of his handjob and focuses on fucking John just right. 

 

Rodney draws himself back -but not too far; he thrusts into John -but not too fast. A slow, steady pace. 

.  
.

* * *

.  
. 

John looks up at Rodney in lust and wonder, “Oh God. Oh fuck. Oh….Oh…. Oh….” 

 

He feels nothing but pure abandon now. His body is full of little electric currents, shooting through him. He has gone limp with pleasure. 

 

Except for his cock, that is rock hard. And Rodney’s hand is stroking it. John hadn’t known it possible to feel anything like this, to surrender yourself so utterly to someone else, to let them ride your body into such bliss. 

 

He is so out of control, he is falling but it doesn't matter because Rodney is making it all happen. 

 

_Oh God. Rodney’s cock is pumping inside of him._

 

Feels so good to be a faggot, John doesn’t care. He wants to laugh and cry and scream in ecstasy all at the same time. 

 

_Oh, God. Don’t stop, Don’t ever stop._

 

Rodney’s thumb is on John’s lips now and John looks up, bleary-eyed from lust. 

 

“That’s right…” Rodney is speaking to John as he thrusts harder inside him, “You’re mine… Belong to me… Now…” 

 

John can feel it, like Rodney has lifted John’s soul from his body. It feels delicious. Belonging to someone this way. John always wants it like this. For Rodney to hold this part of him, and keep it sacred and safe. 

 

And it is so hot seeing Rodney on top of him, fucking him. He is being fucked by Rodney. Rodney is fucking him. Oh God. John feels close to the brink. 

 

While trailing his finger softly on John’s lips, Rodney leans in, growling possessively between thrusts, “I want... to hear you... say it… Tell me... You’re mine” 

 

His body rocks as Rodney pumps into him. Knowing it is completely true, John repeats breathlessly, “I’m... Yours.” 

 

Rodney rewards him with a kiss, “And you… belong… to me.” 

 

“I… belong-to-you.” John surrenders completely.

 

“Yes… Yes…” Rodney looks consumed by desire. “God... I love you… love you…” 

.  
.

* * *

.  
. 

Rodney lets his rhythm speed up of the pace of his arousal. John is taking it so well. He moans in pleasure and begs Rodney not to stop. Rodney is close now. 

 

He slides his hand, harder faster down the shaft of John’s cock. 

 

Then John’s body starts to shake and Rodney takes in the sight of John losing control with his legs pinned back, out of his mind with pleasure, cumming with Rodney’s cock deep inside of him. 

 

John convulses and screams as he shoots a warm spray of seed into Rodney’s hand, “Oh, GOD! Rodney! Rodn- AHHHHHH!” He pulses, gushing more in a smaller succession of waves.

 

Thrusting deep inside John’s ass, Rodney then lets himself go then. His cock swells as he spills his cum into John’s tight ass, wave after wave of pulsing, orgasmic pleasure. 

 

“JOHNNNN! Oh God!!.” Rodney gasps name of his beloved, then collapses forward. Oh God. Nothing has ever felt that good. Ever.

 

As John trembles under him with orgasmic aftershocks, Rodney only hopes he made John feels as good he does. Lightheaded he sighs, “Ohhhh.” 

 

That was the hottest thing that happened to him. Ever. He can’t believe he got to fuck John. The best orgasm of Rodney’s life just happened while fucking John Sheppard’s tight virgin ass. Rodney shudders in pleasure. 

 

John is panting under him. And Rodney keeps a soft grip John’s softening cock. With his free hand, he reaches up to touch John’s thick locks. He can’t talk yet, too delirious to speak or move. 

 

He can feel John is still having those little orgasmic aftershocks and Rodney doesn’t want to ruin it by pulling out or releasing his hold yet. He shakily pets John’s hair, resting his head on John’s chest while he catches his breath. 

 

Once Rodney feels John’s body go still, he quickly pulls out. He uses the small towel to clean his hand and wipe the cum off of John stomach and ass, then he crawls up to join John on the pillow. 

 

John reaches for him and they curl into each other. Arms wrapped around each other, legs tangled together, faces nestled close. They exchange drowsy kisses as they recover.  
.  
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* * *

.  
. 

As the world starts to come back together for John, he thinks about what Rodney said earlier _‘I’m going to make sure you know you belong to me, the way you made me belong to you.’_

 

When Rodney fucked him, John felt possessed utterly. He still feels it, will always feel it deep inside him. 

 

Is this how vulnerable Rodney had felt when John had fucked him? He feels stupid for not knowing. He should have known so much that he didn’t… 

 

“I didn’t know.” John mumbles against Rodney’ lips.

 

“What didn’t you know?” Rodney whispers.

 

“So much I didn’t know.” John tenderly touches Rodney’s face.

 

He leans his head back onto the pillow and loses himself in Rodney’s blue eyes, “I didn’t know it could feel that good. Didn’t know how it felt to cum so hard, to feel it with your whole body… I can still feel it. Mmm-God.”

 

“So it was it good?” Rodney smiles triumphantly.

 

John gives Rodney a dubious look through his sleepy green eyes, “Uh. Yeah. It felt good. You fucking took me body and soul. I’ve never felt anything so amazing in my life!”

 

With a bursting smile, Rodney burrows closer into John. He winds his arms around John caressing his body. He asks, “Could you feel how much I love you?” 

 

“Yes, Mere.” John blinks with his heart wide open, “I can feel it. And I know I will never belong to anyone but you. I’m completely yours.”  
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* * *

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Rodney sees John’s face, open and almost naive. He recognizes the expression. It reminds Rodney of the first time he fell in love. 

 

It was the first time and Rodney has given himself entirely without realizing how broken he would be when Philip changed his mind. Rodney had learned to guard his heart more carefully after that, he had told himself he was being more mature about it. 

 

John’s open expression is beautiful; there is nothing broken or bitter about. He is so unabashed. Rodney vows never to do anything to take this love for granted. He will match John in every way he can, give John everything he can without holding back and never hurt him. 

 

“Yes. You’re mine.” Rodney places his hand over John’s heart, he curls his other hand around the dog tags on his chest and holds them against his own heart, “And I’m yours.” 

 

“You put a spell on me.” John kisses Rodney, breathless and starry-eyed, “Rodney, you could do anything you want to me… you have complete power over me.”

 

“Rodney flushes at the complimets, “I just fucked you really good.” 

 

“You fucked me.” John flutters in his arms, his eyes rolls back in his head like just thinking about it is too overwhelming, “You fucked me really… really… I mean, really good.” 

 

As John relaxes his gaze into Rodney’s eyes, his expression is so vulnerable and so in love. “Is this what you were talking about?” John asks, “When you said that I could have had you anytime? When you said I made you feel like you belonged to me?” 

 

Rodney caressing his fingers through John’s hair, unsure of how to answer. He pauses and nods.

 

“I’m sorry.” John looks solemn now, “I didn’t know anything then. I would never be with like that again, I promise. If we ever did… I would make sure you felt how much I love you. I would make you felt safe. I would make you mine in a different way. I love you so much, Mere.

 

“Shhh.” Rodney kisses away John’s concern, “Come on, it wasn’t bad. The only thing I didn’t like was the part where you left. So, just don’t leave me this time.” 

 

“I will never leave you Rodney.” John takes Rodney’s face in his hands and kisses him reverently. 

 

Closing his eyes, Rodney lets John worship his face. Everything feels so perfect. Even though it is only late afternoon Rodney feels like he wants nothing more than to stay curled up with John like this drift into sleep. John seems to agree with him as he pulls himself closer into Rodney and rests his head onto the crook of Rodney’s chest. 

 

Usually their roles are reversed but Rodney likes this. He likes John being submissive. Rodney flushes again thinking of how he has taken John, proud that he made John feel like he belonged to him. He runs his fingers through John’s hair, down his neck and back until he feels himself drifting into unconsciousness. His chest hums with the satisfaction of knowing he can do things to John and get him off in ways that no one else can. 

 

‘He belongs to me now. He’s mine.’  
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	3. I knew you wanted to take a bath with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _Taking a bath with Rodney is way better than any of the fantasies John's entertained about what it would be like.  
> ._

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.  
Stirring from his nap, Rodney wakes to the sensation of being tangled up in John, feeling kisses on the back of his neck and strong hands running across his chest. He smiles and opens his eyes slowly. The sun is starting to dim and his stomach growls. John turns his face, finding his mouth and kissing him languidly.

 

Deliriously happy, a rush of butterfly tingles run through his body, Rodney reaches his hands up into John’s hair as he kisses him back hard. A sudden possessive passion overtakes him and he flips John onto his back, Rodney hears him gasp in delight. John's long eyelashes flit a few times before opening again. He looks up with Rodney with an expression of complete surrender.

 

He takes those full, pouty lips that belong to him now.  _God the man is so fucking beautiful_

 

John gives into the kiss and moans as Rodney's tongue makes its way deep inside. He can't get enough of this. There will never be enough to make up for all those years dreaming and longing. 

 

Rodney runs his finger through John's hair and clenches his fists into it, "I've waited so long to have you, I can't believe you're really here in my bed." 

 

"Uh," John's eyes smile up at him in amusement, free from any shame, "If you moved us in together, isn't it _our_ bed, now?" 

 

"Mmm..." Rodney kisses his feverishly, "Mmm. True, I bought it for you anyway." 

 

As he bites John's lower lip, Rodney exhales with desire. "I bought it so you would come spend the night... Mmm... In my big..." 

 

He pulls John's head back into the pillow as he takes his mouth, then he murmurs with his lips against John's full mouth "Mmm... bed."

 

"Really?" John asks flirtatiously.

 

"I really did." Rodney confesses, "That was the reason I got it."

 

John laughs. "Then why didn't you ever invite me back?" 

 

" I thought you wouldn't... You got so distant again.” Rodney gives him a teasing look, “If I’d asked you, would you have come?"

 

"Well, maybe not..." John brushes his fingers through Rodney's hair, “I was trying to let you and Jennifer-"

 

Rodney waves his hand dismissively "Hmm-Mmm. Bad call. What about the bath?” He traces his fingers around John's unguarded eyes, “I bet you really did want to take a bath with me."

 

"Of course I did." John smiles a little guiltily.

 

Sitting up on John's waist, Rodney pulls him up and John wraps his arms around Rodney. "Mere. You're so good in bed. How do you... do that?" He bends his head into Rodney’s neck gives a soft bite, "I want to know. You have to tell me all your secrets."

 

"My secrets?" Rodney gives a small laugh, "I thought you knew all my secrets."

 

"Hmm-Mmm. The things you know how to do to me..." John grips his fingers into the back of Rodney’s hair and pulls his head back, taking him in a deep open-mouthed kiss. 

 

"Umph." Rodney falls back into the bed with underneath John and lets John seduces him with his tongue. He yields as John thrusts softly in and out of his mouth, moaning as he thinks about John's cock inside him. Not yet, but soon... 

 

"So, beautiful, Mere." John's fingers trace his cheekbone and jawline.

 

He feels John's cock getting hard again, rubbing against him. Rodney runs his hands over John's body. "Then you should take a bath with me."

 

"Guess I could use a bath." John smirks.

 

"See, I always knew you wanted to."

 

"Did not." John rubs his chin affectionately against Rodney's face.

 

They finally pull themselves away from each other and Rodney fills the giant tub with warm water. But John gets tired of waiting and pulls Rodney back in an embrace.

 

Rodney notices that when he touches John in even the slightest way, John seems to tremble giving into whatever motion Rodney suggests. It is thrilling to have so power to make John feel. He pulls on John's hands and guides him into the bathtub with him.

 

John sinks into the deep tub, joining Rodney, "Oh. This is nice... I've really been missing out."

 

"You really have been." Rodney smacks the surface of the water sending a spray across John's face.

 

"Hey! Is this really proper bathtub etiquette?"

 

Shrugging, Rodney turns to grab a washcloth from the edge. Suddenly his head is being submerged underwater. Rodney gasps as he comes back up for air, "Okay. Now you're going to get it."

 

"I'm going to get it?” John taunts him. “Uh-oh. I'm scared." 

 

The playfullness falls away and John’s expression becomes submissive as Rodney glides through the water. Rodney uses his newfound power to push John's head underwater. 

 

When John comes back up for air, there are droplets of water hanging from his spiked lashes. And the look on in his green eyes is one of solemn adulation. Rodney can't resist his handsome face and straddles John, wrapping his legs around him.

 

"Okay," He tells him, "we're even." then he takes John's lips tenderly in his. 

 

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* * *

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John lets his body float in the warm water, lets Rodney hold him as they move in a gentle sway. Grinding slowly, they kiss with their legs wrapped around each other, with the thrill of their erections rubbing against each other.

 

Everything is soft and wonderful, as he moves his mouth across Rodney's neck licking up to the ear; the wonderful sensation of the water sliding across the skin and makes everything feel pure and clean. 

 

Rodney’s delicious lips are always there waiting for his, pulling him in more deeply into the spell. He is sucking lightly on John's lower lips and mussing his hands though John's wet hair. 

 

Every breath John takes is lightheaded, filled with flutters of ecstasy. A reminder of how deeply Rodney has just taken him. And he already wants more, he wants Rodney to possesses him over and over. It is all that matters now. The universe can save itself from now on; he has his love and won't let anything take Rodney from him again.

 

"Aaaahhh." John moans as Rodney curls his hand around his cock. Not just his cock, but he has both of them pressed together, pulsing under Rodney's firm grasp. He is pulling them, thrusting his hand up and down, catching slightly just under the head to create a more intense sensation. 

 

Oh God, where did Rodney learn to do these things? Why did he fight this for so long? Why did he try to fight what Rodney makes him feel? It is so much better than he could have ever imagined.

 

Too many useless years spent waiting and longing, blaming himself and feeling unworthy. Rodney has taken it all and made it safe and forgiven. John's penance is finally at an end. All he has left belongs to Rodney now. 

 

Rodney wraps his legs tighter around John, his cock harder into John's. His eyes are glazed in desire as if he is staring right into John's soul. John gasps as Rodney pulls the pleasure from deep in his loins.

 

 

The pace of Rodney's hand quickens, gripping their cocks tighter. He stares into Johns eyes, "Give me everything. And I want all of you. Give it to me." 

 

And John loses control, "Oh God, How can... Oh, Mere, Mere. OH, OH! God. RODNEY!"

 

Rodney's body is shaking with him, he bites into John's shoulder to stifle a scream as he cums, "Mmmph! Mmm.. mmm..."

 

They stay wrapped around each other and Rodney lifts his face to slowly kiss up John's neck and finds his lips again.

 

"I love you, Mere.” Johns breathlessly exhales, “You couldn't possibly know how much I love-"

 

Mmm... Hmm-Mmm... I've always loved you more."

 

"No. Never." John trails his fingers over Rodney's cheekbone, "You could never love me as much."

 

"Everything is competition with you isn't it?" Rodney says laughing happily in John's arms.

 

"I win." John proclaims, grabbing Rodney and kissing possessively.

 

When they finally make their way out of the tub clean and dry. John makes the bed with fresh sheets and they both lay back in each other arms, dizzy and sated.

 

"You know," John strays his fingers through Rodney's hair, I'm kind of hungry after all that."

 

"The kitchen..." Rodney groans, "so far away..."

 

"The risk could be worth the reward."

 

"All right," Rodney leans up onto John's chest, "you take point."

 

John gives a deep laugh.

 

"What?"

 

"It's just so funny when you try to do military talk."

 

Expecting a light smack of annoyance from Rodney, he gets a soft kiss instead.

 

Drowning in the intoxication of this deep love. John is besotted, he is lost. He thought he knew what is was to love Rodney, but the pull from his heart deepens and aches; it grows stronger with each pulse. His arms tighten around Rodney, "Mere."

 

Rodney makes a happy noise. Rodney always knows what John means when he says his name. 

 

"I never knew it could be this good, either. I had no idea," Rodney looks up at him with astonishment in his eyes. "I meant usually in the beginning it's-" Rodney suddenly looks embarrassed and looks away."

 

It's what?"

 

"I mean," Rodney looks up shyly, "usually it takes a little a few times before things get so... Well, I've never had things feel that great the first time. Or ever."

 

"Whatever you say, Kirk."

 

Rodney gives John a light smack on the arm.

.  
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* * *

.  
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It is late but Ronon decides to take one more lap around the grounds complex before bed. It’s sickening how much he has missed Jennifer so much while he was gone. From the moment he got back in the Jumper he had carried her to his room, he’d declaring his undying love for her, making love to her for hours. 

 

She had confessed that she loved him too, that she had just been waiting for him to say it first. Ronon thinks he probably first fell for her that day they were quarantined in the infirmary.

 

After spending a month apart, Ronon feels sure he never wants to be away from her again. Even though they've been fucking every chance they get, he doesn't like the fact that she won't be coming by his quarters tonight. She had some sort of 'girls night' planned with Vala and Teyla. 

 

The two of them had had some mind-blowing sex earlier this afternoon, so it's not even that he misses that so much… just her company, her presence, sleeping in the same bed together... If he is going to get to try to sleep without her, he needs some intense physical exercise to wear him out. Maybe it's too soon, but he knows what he wants, so he's going to ask. Tomorrow, he decides, he'll ask her if she'll move in with him tomorrow.

 

After another couple miles, Ronon rests, leaning over with hands on his knees. He catches his breath feeling excited about his plan. Exhaling deeply, he looks up at the bright open widows of the kitchen cafeteria. He blinks in surprise, not expecting to see John or Rodney there at this hour. 

 

John has something in his hand that he is trying to keep away from Rodney with his long arms. Rodney steps forward, his eyes set in a sultry look of determination. Ronon sees his lips move, but has not way to know what he is saying. 

 

Rodney’s body still looks a bit slight, but more solid and strong, definitely confident. He places his hand on John's chest; John immediately melts, trembling as if Rodney has shocked him with some kind of pulse. 

 

Slumping against the counter, John looks at Rodney in surrender; Ronon can see John’s chest rise and fall quickly. He hands Rodney the disputed item, but Rodney sets it down with eyes still locked on John, his hand still on his chest. John's expression is hungry, waiting... and then Rodney gives him what he wants, he reaches up to the nape of John's neck and pulls him into a powerful kiss. 

 

If possible, John's body goes even more limp; he folds his long arms around Rodney, kissing deeply. John places his hands on Rodney's face as his tongue thrusts deep inside the eager mouth. It looks like they are burning with passion, almost wrestling with each other as their mouths seek satisfaction. Rodney's hand reaches up to squeeze John ass in a familiar way. 

 

Whoa. Guess he hasn't been the only one who has been making up for lost time. It's obvious that the two of them have taken their relationship to the next level. Feeling happy for them, Ronon smiles that after all these years they are finally together the way they were meant to be. He straightens up on the dark path that winds its way around the tall buildings and jogs back inside thinking about how will present his proposal to Jennifer.

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* * *

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When Rodney wakes up the next morning John is wrapped around him again, spooning him from behind. His head nestles in the small of Rodney's back, giving him slow kisses from his shoulder blades up his neck.

 

It's early and Rodney is still tired even though there were no nightmares to interrupt his sleep but he can’t imagine a more perfect way to wake up. He turns around to wrap his arms and legs around John, to pull him in close. 

 

His sleepy eyes blink up at John's face and see the most intense look of love anyone has ever given him. Rodney heart drops through his chest and he still can't believe any of this is real. How is John in his bed... naked and looking at him like that? 

 

Yesterday... Rodney's heart flip-flops again remembering the way it felt when he came in John's ass. 

 

"You're pretty cute when you're sleepy" John tells him.

 

"Oh my God, how am I supposed to get up and have normal day when you are looking at me like that?

 

"Like what?"

 

Rodney's eyes relax into the spools of green in John's eyes, lost in the bliss of the moment.

 

"Oh" John softly exhales, "Like that? 

 

He reaches over deliberately, and tenderly kisses Rodney on the lips, "Just focus on the exciting briefing with Woolsey this morning."

 

"Can't wait."

 

John looks smitten and palms Rodney's face. "I can't wait for tonight." 

 

"Why?" Rodney looks at him flirtatiously "Were you thinking more sex stuff was going to happen?"

 

"Oh no" John tightens his arms around Rodney’s chest and pulls him around playfully on the bed, "I would never presume. I mean you'll be in your quarters... I'll be in mine... Maybe at some point we'll say goodnight. I was looking forward to that. A nice chat before bed."

 

Rodney chest is warm, filled with love and spilling laughter as John flips him onto his back. He throws his arms around John's neck and pulls him down for more.

 

After an intoxicating hour spent in bed, John heads to his room to get ready for the day. Rodney stays in his room a little longer, taking his time so that John's entrance to the cafeteria will be well in advance of his own.   
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	4. That a Ferris wheel in the background?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _John has a plan to keep the IOA from screwing everyone over and Rodney thinks it's... cute?  
> ._

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.  
.

John takes in Woolsey's grim smile as he begins briefing the senior staff seated around the large mahogany table.

 

"Right." Woolsey taps a file in his hand, "Looks like Atlantis is finally getting back to business. I want to run through these reports quickly." 

 

He turns to John, "First order of business, Sheppard I want you to pick out the new members of your team as soon as soon as possible. I assume you've had plenty of time to think it over." 

 

"Well, I..." John frowns in confusion, "members?"

 

"Yes, Teyla has requested being taken off active duty, except for special missions."

 

"Uh... Members?"

 

"Well, in case you hadn't notice we do have two new members from SGC with us now." Woolsey gestures to Daniel and Vala

 

"Really?", Rodney nods sarcastically at Daniel. "Does it have to be him?" 

 

Daniel makes a face at Rodney, "You do realize, that I'm the one who discovered Atlantis in the first place. Oh yeah, and I have more experience with Ancient technology than in anyone this room. Wait, come to think of it, I'm also the one who discovered the Stargate system, so if it wasn't for me, this whole program wouldn't exist."

 

"Yes-yes-yes. Daniel," Rodney rolls his eyes, "we all know the story of what a brilliant archeologist you. Only you could decipher the true meaning of the hieroglyphs and make the Stargate operational. Yawn."

 

"Well," Daniel shrugs, "if you're going to draw up a list... I'm a whiz at linguistics and-"

 

"He's also not that bad at sex." Vala offers.

 

Daniel glares at her.

 

"Well," Vala says brightly, "if he's going, then sign me up, I could never leave my Daniel, not after all we're been though together, it's a bond that can't even be put onto words..." 

 

“I can think of a few.” Daniel says sourly.

 

She pushes on, "So, let's see, if I were to draw up a list of my talents...Smooth talking wheeling-dealing-

 

"Thief." Daniel mumbles.

 

"All around asskicker, gunslinger... pick your baddie and I'm your go to girl. Oh, did I also happen to mention I was once host to a Gao'uld symbiote and have access to a wealth of Ancient and Gao'uld knowledge? Honestly, I can't think how you could afford not to have me on your team, I can most their jobs," Vala points around the room, "and then some."

 

"I'd like to see your calculations on the new wormhole drive" Rodney snorts.

 

"Well, most." Vala concedes

 

"A regular girl Friday, then." Rodney quips.

 

"I thought we had a moratorium of all cultural references I wouldn't understand." Vala pouts.

 

"So,” Woolsey interjects, “pick your team, John. Obviously, you know my recommendation but if you prefer to keep using Lorne, that's fine too." 

 

"Goody, I can't wait" Vala flashes a huge grin.

 

John frowns at her but can't completely hide the amusement in his eyes.

 

"Rodney," Woolsey turns to the next item on his agenda, "how is work going on the new wormhole prototype drive?"

 

"Ah, theoretically it works, obviously, it got us here. The challenge being, the enormous power requirements that would be needed to keep it functional. We simply don't have our hands on an unlimited number of ZPM's. That's why I'm using some of the data from the 'alternate' Daedalus to try to tap into Zero Point energy in subspace."

 

John turns disapprovingly to Rodney, “Have you forgotten what happened with the last drive you created on the Daedalus?”

 

“That was an alternate… me.” Rodney scoffs, “Obviously, brilliant but a first prototype is bound to have some glitches.”

 

John gives Rodney a dubious shake of the head, “Glitches, I’d say it was more than-?”

 

Woolsey interrupts and redirects to Rodney, "But you've theorized that this could make it possible for our Daedalus class ships to travel instantaneously to any point in space without the need to send smaller teams and vessels through a Stargate?” 

 

Rodney gives John a quick sidelong glance, "Theoretically." 

 

"Well," Woolsey huffs, "That would give us an enormous advantage. Keep working on it. And I’ll assign you extra personal to help with the Zero point energy containment. If we can tap into that kind of power, it would solve a lot of our funding issues.” 

 

Woolsey grumbles, "Since the recent financial meltdown in the global markets we are working on shoestring budget. The cloak for Atlantis can't be maintained indefinitely. And it's not like we’re going to find another ZMP anytime soon."

 

"Is this why off-world missions have been suspended?" Ronon asks.

 

"Temporarily.” Woolsey shuffles his briefing notes without looking up, “That and having a Pegasus gate on Earth subordinates the gate at Cheyanne mountain. The IOA wants to move our base of operations to Atlantis, we just need to work out the the funding issues”

 

Daniel starts to speak but Woolsey raises a finger and continues, "Which is why, the IOA has been contracted to cooperate with our new corporate partners. We allow them to benefit from the R&D of certain discoveries and they allow us to have the kind of budget we need to keep afloat, no pun intended."

 

"Doesn't this pose an ethical problem?" Daniel looks concerned.

 

"How so?" Woolsey looks bored.

 

"Well, the discoveries we're making, really they belong to humankind. By placing them in private or corporate hands, aren't we are selling them off to the highest bidder?"

 

"The intellectual property still belongs to the international committee, however the rights to research and commercially developed technologies on a small scale are being 'sold' as it were." Woolsey answers.

 

"This feels wrong to me," Daniel frowns, "I don't think we should be doing this."

 

Woolsey sighs absently, "Your personal feelings aside, our military, let alone any other government agency abroad, is simply not able to bear the cost structure of running such a program. When you come up with 20 billion and change each year, then I'll be more interested to take your _feelings_ into account. Until then we're not going back to Pegasus. Now that we've lost the one at Area 51, Earth needs the chair here for defense and we simply can't afford to maintain a presence in Pegasus anymore."

 

Ronon objects, "But the Wraith are still-"

 

"Gone for the most part, was my understanding." Woolsey interrupts, "They are a minor threat at most now."

 

"To you maybe." Ronon growls.

 

"Well, Daniel adds, “Pegasus is the key to uncovering the older remnants of the Lantian Empire. There may be still be many answers there about our own origins that we haven't uncovered."

 

"Nothing I doubt that would affect Earth defense and security, which for now, will be our main directive. Collection of weapons and technologies that might facilitate that are our focus, not missions of whimsy and exploration." Woolsey gives Daniel a dismissive look before continuing. 

 

"We will be strengthening our strategic alliances in the Milky Way and searching for new sources of Naqueda, and if possible Naquadria. Teams will be directed to cataloguing the wealth of information on Atlantis itself, the surface of which we have only begun to scratch."

 

Daniel objects, "But can't you see that sometimes the only way to find new information and technology is to venture into uncharted water? Our fundamental mission has always been exploration." 

 

"I thought we covered this already." Woolsey sighs, looking down at his agenda. "Yes, it's right here. Update on Rodney's research, then briefing on new mission directives."

 

"Unless..." Rodney looks pensive. 

 

"Unless?" Daniel prods.

 

"Unless I find a way to use the PUD without creating exotic particles."

 

"Rodney." John chides.

 

"What?" 

 

"You're naming things again."

 

Rodney ignores him, "I have the data from the 'alternate' Daedalus and I'm sure I can find a way to minimize the risk. They just lost control of the navigation."

 

"Navigation's pretty important, Rodney" John winces.

 

"But think about it, it’s not just about the about the freedom to travel without a Stargate we’re talking about here. We could collect ZPM from alternate realities. We already know where a lot of them are.”

 

John frowns thinking of the previous disasters related to trying to harness energy from subspace. Then he has darker thought, "You're not talking about the Replicators in another universe are you? Ours were bad enough."

 

"I'm simply offering an avenue that may be open to exploration." Rodney replies.

 

Woolsey taps his finger on his agenda and turns to Jennifer and Carson, "And how is your research with Todd going?"

 

Jennifer gushes "It's amazing actually. He has completely recovered from the carcinogenetic diseases that were taxing his body. Once an Iratus queen fed on him and restored him to life, he regained his regenerative abilities, but he digestive tract is still completely functional. Carson and I believe that he could be the key for the retrovirus to allow Wraith transform the successfully."

 

"How exactly?" Woolsey narrows his eyes.

 

"Well, Jennifer explains, "the effect the Iratis Queen had on him is very similar chemically to the enzyme Michael created to keep Carson's system from shutting down. They both repair cellular damage on an unprecedented scale. 

 

"Aye," Carson interjects, "We've been comparing samples and, well, we think with some more research it could be possible to treat the Wraith, to transform them permanently the way Todd has been transformed. They would never need to feed on humans again and we wouldn't be asking them to give up the evolutionary abilities of their immune systems." 

 

Some of the excitement fades from Carson's face, "Though I fail to see how any of this will matter if we can't go back to Pegasus." 

 

"For now, you have the go ahead to continue the retrovirus research." Woolsey folds his briefing booklet and clears his throat, "Effective immediately, SGA will comprise the primary base for Earth defense. Colonel's Carter, and Mitchell will continue leading SG1 at Cheyenne Mountain."

 

"Working on what?" Rodney asks.

 

Woolsey is tightlipped, "That's classified... Beckett and Keller, keep me apprised of your work on the retrovirus. Rodney, you to report back to me about any new developments with the wormhole drive and, ah, the PUD. 

 

Sheppard, the SGC will to continue sending additional personnel. You will be supervising the teams as we comb the city for more Ancient technology. Atlantis is officially active, back to off-world status on a limited basis. You will be in charge of which teams will be going off-world. I’ll let you know when the IOA sets its first target planet."

 

"Target planet?" Daniel sounds hesitant.

 

Teyla speaks up. "Mr. Woolsey. Has there been any decision about the fate of my people? Although we are very grateful to be allowed to continue to stay in the city of the Ancestors-

 

"Appropriate relocation sites are being discussed." Woolsey's tone is cool, "I will inform you when a decision has been reached. But you should know that the IOA feels it best to devote the entirely of Atlantis to a military operation, it will not a suitable place for families to reside long term."

 

"Are you talking about sending them off world?" John's eyes get dark, "Because the Athosians have been great friends and allies to us, surely we can make room for a few thousand, in a city this size?"

 

Woolsey shakes his head, "There are security matters that I am not at liberty to discuss, but I think staying in Atlantis will be out of the question."

 

"Well, then surely, somewhere else on Earth..." John gapes.

 

"This is not really the time Colonel" Woolsey stands up, "That's all for now."

 

Rodney calls after Woolsey heads to the door, "What are they refugees or prisoners?"

 

Woolsey doesn't bother to answer.

 

Ronon levels his eyes at John, looking stormy. John know how he feels, this is unacceptable. 

 

"So, did I get the job?" Vala pipes up cheerfully.

 

John sighs. "What say you, Jackson?" 

 

"She... can be useful at times." Daniel says with a weary expression.

 

"Okay, then." John nods at her.

 

Vala's face lights up she lifts her shoulders happily and looks to Daniel in barely contained excitement.

 

"What are we gonna do?" Ronon leans forward.

 

"We're gonna do something, believe me." John presses his lips together.

 

Seeing Teyla's apprehensive frown, and John reaches across the table to take her hand, "Teyla, listen to me. You and the Athosians will be taken care of, I will see to it personally. You know when I set my mind to something, nothing gets in my way."

 

"That is true, John." Teyla's face melts into a smile, "You have never let any of us down."

 

John closes his eyes for a moment, "I think I have a plan. We don't need Woolsey for this. If he isn't going to let the Athosians stay, then might I know where they can go."

 

"Where?" Ronon asks first.

 

"Not far from here." John licks his lips, "I have some land... about 45 minutes South of San Francisco. Actually, a lot of land. Enough to build a village, plant crops, there's a river, some forested areas, I mean, the only thing it doesn't have is much wild game to hunt..."

 

"That sounds wonderful, do think they will let us leave?" Teyla asks.

 

"I'll make sure they will." John's face is stern, "I've got a guy on the inside."

 

"Dave." Ronon nods.

 

"Yeah. And then we'll see what we can do about Pegasus. Once Jennifer and Carson come up with a serum, I’ll want to make sure we can put it to use."

 

Ronon grunts his approval and sits back in his chair. 

 

"Right," John blinks and stands up abruptly, "I've got a call to make."

 

He heads back to quarters and finds his cell phone. Dave is more than receptive to the idea; in fact he adds a wrinkle that John would never have considered. They could carve out a section of the ranch and deed it to the Athosians, making it tribal land and giving the Athosians protected status as indigenous people. That way they will be largely free from government interference, be able to make their own laws, and live the kind of lifestyle they are accustomed to. Kind of like the ultimate witness location program. Dave seems to believe it will be an easy thing for him to accomplish.

 

Since Dave has been staying at the ranch, he has access to the home office in the main house that contains all the land parcel information and survey maps. He tells John he will scan copies and send them right away. All John has to do is decide how to divide up the land. 

 

"Thanks Dave," John feels a rush of gratitude for his brother.

 

"Hey, no problem. I can do this in my sleep. I'm sending them now, call me back once you get the copies."

 

John runs down to Woolsey's office with a spring in his step. By the time he gets there, Woolsey is already standing over his printer, holding some pages in hand with a confused expression.

 

"Ah, those would be mine." John explains.

 

"This is a secure line." Woolsey looks alarmed, "How did-"

 

"It's IOA, don't worry. Only, these ones are for me." John walks over the printer and collects the pages that are still falling into the tray. It looks like some of the originals were too big and they are broken up into sections on different pages. 

 

It's okay he can piece it back together. The copier spits out a final page and John adds it to the small stack on his arm. He holds his other hand out to Woolsey, "Would you mind if I?..."

 

Looking mildly annoyed, Woolsey hold out the additional pages to John, "By all means."

 

"Thanks." John makes a dash for the door before he has to explain himself.

 

Now where to find something as simple as tape in a place like this? Woolsey probably had some in his office but he isn't going back there. He can't think of a single time he has seen anyone in Atlantis using tape... except, well there's medical tape. That should work. John sprints to the infirmary and gets a huge spool of it from Carson before he returns to his quarters. 

 

Unlike Rodney's overstuffed room, John's is Spartan and nearly empty. The only thing on the walls is the Johnny Cash poster above his bed. He eyes the large expanse of empty wall space opposite the balcony. 

 

The added sunlight from the paned doors makes it perfect. He calls Dave back to thank him again while he spreads the pages out on the floor, looking for the right order before taping them up onto the wall.

 

When he stomach starts to growl John realizes he has been penciling on the maps for hours. He grabs a late lunch and rushes back to finish his puzzle. He feels like he almost has it right. John picks up his pencil again and erases a mark... more crop land and more river access... if he uses the dirt road as an entry point, the main village could go somewhere along... John sketches out some designs for the town on some empty pages. 

 

He knows this part is superfluous but he has always enjoyed the clean lines of architectural renderings. Who knows, maybe in another life he would have been an architect? On some fresh sheets of paper, he plots out varies public buildings and structures that would be needed, along with some creative ideas for residential areas. He feels like one of those planners from the Victorian era; back when they literally did this kind of thing, design a town from the ground up.

 

Noticing that the light is starting to fail, John steps back and eyes his handiwork with satisfaction. He can't think of a better way to put the land to use. Really, he should get some dinner, probably he has missed most of the good stuff, but he can always get the basic necessities. 

 

John's head turns to the sound of Rodney's door opening in the other room. The access panel between them is open and Rodney walks in holding a tray of food. He blinks at the drawing all over the wall, "Wow. You've been busy. Hungry?"

 

"Starving, thanks." John smiles as he takes the tray and sits down at the desk. Rodney knows just what he would have chosen to eat. Guess if he's been secretly in love with John all those years while they were having dinner together he’s picked up on a few things.

 

"This is the... ranch?"

 

"Mmm-hmm." John mumbles with a mouthful. 

 

"More like a nature preserve, this is huge."

 

"Do see the section I carved out?" John points at the wall, "About half of the land. Think it's big enough?"

 

"Ah, yeah..." Rodney lifts his brows, "For a thriving medieval fiefdom and then some."

 

"Dave's going make sure it goes through, not only that, we're going to give them independant status." John tells him proudly.

 

"Okay" 

 

"Yeah." John pauses thinking Rodney doesn't seem sufficiently impressed by this, "You realize what that means, right? They would have autonomous rights, as a nation. No one could fuck with them, imprison them for security reasons."

 

"Nice." Rodney nods in sudden appreciation, "Good idea." 

 

"It was Dave's actually. But, hey I'm contributing the land and various architectural suggestions."

 

Rodney smiles and turns back to look at the drawing, "These are really quite good. I love the look of the town; it's got a little bit of everything. Some Victorian, some Tudor, Mid-Century designs in the plazas, the City Hall looks... is that Beaux Arts?"

 

"You know architecture?" John swallows his food in surprise.

 

"Well, just some basics. I appreciate the aesthetics... I like how you make it all fit together, the design is... it's really good. Wait, is that a Ferris wheel in the background?"

 

"Mmm." John chews another bite and swallows, "For the kids, you know."

 

"You're a kid." Rodney turns and looks at John playfully; "I mean look at you, in here all day, building your little town. It's... very cute."

 

"Oh, good." John quips, "That's what I was going for."  
.  
.  
.  
.


	5. Do what you did to me before, please?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _More sex stuff... But first, Sheppard makes McKay give him good intel on how to be a better lover._  
> .

.  
.  
After John has finished eating he joins Rodney to examine his handiwork, "You really like 'em?"

 

"Yeah. I'm totally impressed." Rodney lifts his hand up to John's chest and lets his fingers slowly trail down. John shudders with pleasure. He can't believe how the slightest touch from Rodney affects him.

 

"Maybe we should have that 'chat'?" Rodney asks seductively.

 

"Actually," John hesitates, "maybe we _should_ have a chat... I mean, before any, ah, sex stuff."

 

Rodney looks puzzled as John pulls him by the arm, "Come on, let's lay down on that big bed you bought for me." 

 

Following John to the luxurious mattress in the other room, Rodney lies down, propping his head up with his elbow, "Well…?"

 

"Well, I was just wondering..." John lays down with his body close up against Rodney, "I just want to make sure I know what's okay with you and what's not..."

 

"You mean with sex stuff?"

 

"Yeah. Last night I didn't move my hands or anything.” John shrugs nervously, “Does that make it feel safe?"

 

"Mmm..." Rodney tilts his head as if he is thinking, "I mean, when you suggested it, I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time… since it was so new... but I'm okay with you touching me. No, I want you to touch me. I love the way your hands feel on my skin."

 

"I just want to do things right and I feel like I'm a little out of my depth." John admits.

 

"I mean, last night..." John gushes, "I've never felt anything like that before, not even close. You know, my experience with guys in the past was kinda limited, I just want to make you feel as good as you make me feel. And the last thing I ever want is to make you feel anything bad, so-."

 

"Oh. Believe me." Rodney snakes his fingers across John’s chest, "You make me feel good." With a curious expression Rodney asks, "Just what... sex stuff have you done before, exactly? With guys, I mean."

 

"Ah." John smiles in embarrassment, "Well... Before you, I've, well,” He clears his throat, “Exactly? I’ve had my cock in another guys ass a few times. Yeah. That, and some hand jobs. Soooo, uh, I’m wondering what else I need to know, like… what do you like?"

 

"Your kissing is good, amazing actually." Rodney leans forward and kisses him on the lips, “Everything with you feels good. It’s not just about any one specific thing, touching anywhere can be erotic.”

 

“McKay” John gives him the kind of exasperated look is apt to throw Rodney’s way on a mission, “I was kinda hoping you might help out me out by being a _little_ more specific. 

 

“Oh, oh. It’s McKay now is it?” Rodney grins and squeezes John’s ass.

 

John had been hoping Rodney would launch into a long winded explanation, the kind he likes to give about technological applications. Something, anything that would leave John feeling a little less clueless or worried about hurting Rodney in some way.

 

John gives him his stern team leader look, “Yeah, I’m asking to brief me on the mission McKay. I need good intel.”

 

Rodney pushes himself up and covers his smirk with his hand as if he is trying not to laugh. But when he looks back over to John and sees his brows still raised expectantly waiting for a serious answer, Rodney nods and lays back down snuggles up next to him.

 

“Okay, Sheppard. You want to talk about sex like we’re on duty?” His eyes sparkle humorously at John, “So what haven’t we covered? Um, blowjobs are good obviously. Except-“ Rodney’s brow furrows, “after what happened… I need some before I think I could try to give one.”  


 

Continuing quickly Rodney adds, "Blowjobs are pretty much the only thing I can't do right now, that and bottoming obviously. I'm just worried I might have a full-blown panic if I try to push it, but anything else is good. I wish I could do everything. I want to so badly... you know, I'm crazy for you."

 

"No," John threads his fingers through Rodney’s, "we take it slow. I never want to hurt you, I only want to make you feel good. That’s why I need to know."

 

"I know." Rodney smiles, reaching up and cupping John's face, "But you don't have to be careful. I'll let you know if I get scared."

 

"Okay..." John gazes at Rodney with love, "I just have another question."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"What's 'bottoming'?"

 

Rodney leans back and laughs hard, "Ah. That would be... the person bottoming, is the one receiving or taking-."

 

"Got it." John interjects, "So... is this usually an exclusive thing where one person generally-?"

 

"No." Rodney shakes his head in mirth, "Not for me at least."

 

Thinking about it, John feels foolish for asking, "Yeah, obviously. You've done both 'cause you're so good at..."

 

"Topping?" Rodney finishes his thought; "Sorry. Is this getting too gay for you, Colonel?"

 

Chuckling, John tells him "I think we're well past that point. I'm past it anyway. Really, I'm just trying to keep up... I mean, how the hell did you get so good at all this... sex stuff? Just, you said you haven't been with a ton of people but you seem so experienced."

 

"Well, I am a genius." Rodney lifts his brows.

 

John makes a face and Rodney answers him seriously.

 

"Well, you know, if I'm going to do something, I want to do it better than everyone else. So when I realized I was attracted to men in college, I did my research. I like to know what I'm doing and I like to be good at it. And just because I haven’t had a ton of lovers doesn’t mean I didn’t get a lot of practice in."

 

"Research?" John bites his lip in amusement.

 

"Yeah, like books. And then they invented the internet, so..."

 

"Books." John wonders how someone could extrapolate the information from a printed page. Maybe there are pictures. "Well, I guess it worked, cause you're- You know, I'm surprised you're not bragging about it, you brag about everything else you're good at."

 

"What, that I'm an expert at gay sex? Right, 'cause that's one for the resume" Rodney runs his fingers affectionately through John's hair, "Anyway you just think that I'm great 'cause you don't know better."

 

"Mere.” John levels his gaze, "We both know you're dynamite in the sack, so don't bother trying to act humble –it doesn't suit you."

 

"Yeah, well..." Rodney smiles seductively, "If you thought yesterday was good, you'd should know it only gets better. It always hurts a bit the first time but after that, if you do it right, the body starts to experience new levels of pleasure."

 

"It gets better?" John is incredulous.

 

"That's how it was for me..." Rodney nods, "And I'm going to make sure it's even more amazing for you."

 

A rush of butterflies run from John's groin and up through his chest, "Oh. Okay. So if we're going to be doing more of this..." John's lashes flutter with slight embarrassment, "If I'm 'bottoming', what else should I know, to make it good for you?"

 

"Oh, it's pretty fucking good for me.” Rodney looks thoroughly amused. “Don't worry about that." 

 

A warm flush of love burns in John's chest, he takes Rodney's chin and tilts it to his mouth, kissing him slowly and deeply. The way they kiss, the dance, the give and take -it feels so perfect. One moment he is dominating Rodney and the next he is being dominated. It is so seamless and natural. He can't imagine anyone else ever being able to make him feel this way. 

 

Only Rodney could make him want to give up his control. And he loves how it feels surrendering to Rodney, that light fluttery sensation... like his soul is being drawn through his chest and possessed utterly, taken and known. 

 

He could literally feel his heart being held when Rodney took him last night... and now he never wants him to let go. He wants to say inside that feeling forever. 

 

As they draw out of a deep kiss, John stays with Rodney's lips, sucking and kissing them sweetly. 

 

"You are so amazing." Rodney sighs into his mouth.

 

Holding Rodney's face in his hands, John gaze at him with pure abandon, "I'm really lucky that you gave me another chance because I'm, I'm just so in love with you, it's sickening."

 

Rodney's body flutters and he moans, "No, I'm lucky, that you're finally in this bed with me where you belong." 

 

He confesses, "Mere, I couldn't wait for tonight. All day I've lusting for you, waiting to have your cock inside me again...Waiting for your hands and mouth on me, to get you naked and hoping to run my hands over you, to feel you come so hard while you're deep inside me. God I just... want you so badly, I want-"

 

The thought is stopped by another passionate kiss from Rodney. Pressing a thumb into John lower lip, Rodney opens his mouth and leans in to explore with his tongue. John's chest feels like it is going to burst with happiness and anticipation. Rodney plays with John's lower lip, pulling it down, giving him his thumb to suck on. With his other hand, he rakes his fingers up John's neck and into his thick hair, grasping firmly and using the leverage to pull his head down. Then he takes John's mouth again and dominates him again with his tongue. 

 

When he pulls back for breath Rodney tells him lustily, "I need you, I have to have you now."

 

Lightheaded, John answers, "You have me, completely, I belong to you, Mere." 

 

Rodney's eyes go wide, "And I belong to you. I've never felt this way about anyone. Just you. Only You. There only ever will be you."

 

John rolls on top of Rodney. He pushes Rodney's shirt up and over his head, then leans down to erotic sensation of skin on skin. His face floats just above Rodney's wide-eyed look of anticipation, and he brushes his long nose against Rodney's Aquiline features.

 

"Would it be okay if I touched you and kissed you?" John whispers "I just want to take you in."

 

Looking excited, Rodney nods. John helps him out of the remaining items of clothes between then. Once they are bare and he is laying on top of Rodney, it feels like he can breathe, like he is complete, he has come home. 

 

Dipping his mouth down, he tastes Rodney's lips again. His erection slides across Rodney's abdomen and makes contact with Rodney's hard cock. He can't be sure which of them is moaning so loudly. He trails his kisses across Rodney's cheekbone, and down the line of his jaw. Licking and nibbling behind Rodney's ear, he plays with his lobe. 

 

He isn't sure if it feels as good as when Rodney does it to him. John cradles the side of Rodney's face possessively and works his way down Rodney's neck and across his collarbone. He lightly grips Rodney's solid bicep in his teeth. He loves how strong Rodney has gotten, how his skin started to fill out again. 

 

"You're just so damn sexy." John husks as he leans over Rodney's chest. He licks the left nipple softly, letting his tongue graze over it. Rodney groans with pleasure and John pulls it into his mouth, sucking and teasing the tip with his tongue. He can feel Rodney's body squirming in delight as their cocks rub against each other. 

 

Rodney gives a low moan as John softly holds the erect nipple in his teeth. John's cock swells with pride as he realizes how much Rodney is getting off on this. He takes his time, lavishing attention on Rodney's sensitive nipple, then taking it in his finger, his tongue drags across Rodney's chest until it finds the other nipple. He sucks and teases in his mouth until Rodney is frantic with desire. 

 

Sighing with satisfaction, John kisses his way down Rodney stomach. He gives special attention to his favorite spots, the place just under the belly bottom, the hollow points under the hip bones... He breathes in the sweet muskiness. 

 

The smell is like an aphrodisiac... He wants to try putting Rodney's cock in his mouth but he feels nervous that he'll be bad at it and it will be obvious that he doesn't know what he is doing. He should get some of those books, he doesn’t want anyone on Atlantis to see any internet searches for gay sex from his user id. 

 

Instead, John grips his hand around the thick cock. Staring at it in fascination, He thinks about their first times together, so many years ago. Even then, he had become so attracted to the feel of Rodney's skin, so attached to the sight of Rodney's cock swelling for him. 

 

If only he had been brave enough then to touch Rodney and hold him the way he wanted to. Rodney deserved to be loved well, and often. He reaches for the lube and slicks some over his palms, sliding his hand down Rodney's shaft and up again. 

 

"I love seeing you hard for me." John whispers.

 

Moving lower, John eases himself down the bed so he can kiss the smooth skin on Rodney's inner thighs. Suddenly an image of resurfaces. Bruises from cruel fingers running up the insides of Rodney's legs. John stills and holds his lips reverently on Rodney's leg. No one will ever be allowed to hurt him again. 

 

He closes his eyes and concentrates on the movement of his hand on Rodney's cock, listening to tremble of his body, the sounds of the moans, learning everything he can about his lover. Adjusting his rhythm, he touches intuitively the way he would when flying. He will learn to fly Rodney, he will study his pleasure until he knows exactly how to drive him to a perfect climax.

 

Rodney sits up, his eyes heavy with lust, "I need you now, I want you-"

 

Sitting up, their lips smack together a little too hard with the force of excitement. They kiss frantically for a moment and then tear away. John lies down, giddy and flushing as he thinks about how wonderfully intense it had felt to have Rodney's cock deep inside him. 

 

As Rodney lays down next him, he leans in to take John's mouth in his. Then he rocks his hand on John's hip, urging him to turn on his side. Rodney kisses his back and strokes his chest, then grabs the bottle of lube. 

 

Spooning him, Rodney reaches around for John's cock and begins to play with it in that tantalizing slow build that John loves so much. He takes John's mouth and sucks lightly on his lower lip while pleasuring him. John moans into his mouth as the fluttery feeling uncoils up into his stomach. 

 

He feels Rodney teasing him, ghosting his fingers over the sensitive area the tight pucker. John holds Rodney's lip with his teeth in anticipation as Rodney slicks himself with lube and pushes a finger into him. He relaxes and pushes down the way Rodney taught him. 

 

"Baby, you're so hot." Rodney groans.

 

The finger slides across that spot that feels so good. Rodney milks it gently, not pulling out, but keeping it inside him. He rubs lightly pushing another finger inside to join the soft motion. John is so hard and so ready, he kisses Rodney impatiently, wanting more. Rodney slides a third finger in and stretches him while stimulating his prostate. 

 

John's head falls back to the pillow, feeling the electrical currents already running through his body. 

 

“God" Rodney sighs as he rocks his hand slightly, moving in and out a little bit, "I want to fuck you so bad."

 

"Do it, Rodney. Do what you did to me before...please."

 

Inhaling sharply, Rodney pulls his hand out, placing the head of his cock into John crack and angling his leg. He moves his slick fingers back to John's cock, pulsing and stroking. 

 

Shivering with bliss, John bites his lip as he feels Rodney's cock pushing against his entrance. Rodney's lips brush against his shoulder, and John reaches up his arm behind him to touch Rodney's face. His fingers strokes the jawline, then spasms suddenly as Rodney breaches him. 

 

It is intense, the sensation shocking but almost no pain this time. Rodney is holding still, letting him adjust before going further. John loses himself in the rhythm of Rodney's hand on his cock. John's fingers flutter again, still brushing against Rodney's face. 

 

Oh. God. It feels so good. Too good. John starts to worry that he is going to cum too fast, but Rodney seems to sense just when to slow down. And then he pushes further inside him. 

 

John gasps involuntarily, from the unexpected movement deeper inside him where he is still aches from yesterday. Rodney nuzzles his face into the back of John's neck and then pushes all the way in. John moans loudly and Rodney rewards him, kissing his neck while he milks his cock, whispering, "I love you." 

 

Rodney's cock stays unmoving inside him, but it feels so intense. He feels completely possessed. Everything is shimmery and light, John feels a deep satisfaction from his loins. His body is pliant and ready to feel Rodney move inside him. 

 

He feels Rodney’s mouth close over his. Oh... the perfect bliss of kissing Rodney. He feels the pleasure everywhere, with his mouth, with his cock, and so far inside him. Rodney has control of everything and he is free falling. 

 

He moans into Rodney's mouth as he feels a shallow thrust in his ass. He trusts Rodney completely, he knows just how to build up the excitement. He knows John better than he knows himself. The tiny thrusts are coming more often now, synchronized with Rodney's hand movements on his cock. 

 

"Mmm... God..." John is delirious, "Mmm... Sooo good."

 

"I'll know it's good when you can't talk anymore." Rodney kisses him again and deepens his thrusts, moving steadily now, angling at the sweet spot in side him. It is a slow grinding motion. He doesn't pull out very far, but manages to make John feel the deep penetration while rubbing against the prostate. 

 

Whimpering as the motion rocks him, John lets himself be carried away in the current of ecstasy. Thoughts empty from his mind; nothing but incoherent gasps and moans escape his lips. 

 

Rodney is drawing it all out, pulling his soul out in slow dance. He surrenders into white bliss, uncoiling and spreading the tingling warmth through his body. Rodney is unraveling him and he coming undone. 

 

His toes curl and John screams as his body spasms, shaking as Rodney keeps the deep rhythm and pulse going. A wave of cum gushes from his cock... Oh God, he is still cumming, he's- 

 

"AHHHH Rodn! AHHHHH. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ooooooooh. Mmmmmmph." Rodney's hand milks him as he sprays a long gush of ejaculate.

 

He can feel Rodney swell inside him as he releases his hold on John's spent cock. He grinds and thrust a little deeper with his teeth caught on John's shoulder. He moans against John's skin as he climaxes.

 

"OOOOOHHHHH! OH! GOD! JOHN! John.... Ooooooh. G-g—od." He begins to kiss John's neck ardently as he finishes his release. He whispers along the nape, "Nothing has ever felt as good as you do."

 

John's body flutters. Everything Rodney says or does radiates through him, amplified in intensity. Rodney cleans them both with a small cloth then spoons him, placing his hand protectively over John's chest. 

 

It feels like he his holding John's heart. Blinking in the haze of the afterglow, John is at a loss for words, even now. Rodney continues to murmur sweet things while John lies limp with pleasure, allowing himself to float in the effervescent thrill. 

 

Rodney wraps his arms snugly around John he revels in the thought, the reality that Rodney finally is his. 

 

"I'm so fucking happy." John feels inarticulate but it's all he can manage to say.

 

He can feel Rodney's face smile against his shoulder blade, his skin vibrates with the low pitch of Rodney voice, "Mmm. Me too."


	6. Translating all the meanings of 'Rodney'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _Even on a mission, all John has to do is say Rodney's name for him to understand exactly what he means._  
> .

.  
.  
Rodney is expecting another dull mission, much like the last half dozen. He, John, Ronon, Vala, and Daniel head through the wormhole as backup support for a geologic survey mission. 

 

Preliminary MALP reading picked up trace readings of Naquada and Woolsey has sent them to escort and two field geologists to an unexplored planet located on the fringe of the Milky Way Galaxy. 

 

Sailes and Durham point the way through the dense foliage and Rodney finds himself smirking at the idea that he is the one providing firepower rather than pointing the way with some technological gadget. 

 

Ronon and John stop up ahead and signal the group to wait. Vala bumps into Rodney as he holds still. 

 

"What is is it?" she whispers

 

Rodney shakes his head, then he sees movement through the trees, there are people out there. 

 

She sees them, "Horus guard.", she hisses, "I thought they were all gone. Why are they here?"

 

He shakes his head again. She knows more than he does about the Jaffa who served the Goa'uld before most of the system lords were eliminates. Most of the Jaffa are free now, no longer serving as warriors for the parasite life forms that enslaved them. Perhaps these guards never heard of the rebellion or chose to remain in service. Either way they are a threat.

 

John signals them to follow as he and Ronon keep a stealthy pace trailing the Jaffa guards. A mile or so later they some on a ridge as the suited Jaffa make their way to a temple-like structure. 

 

"It looks almost Meso-American in design." Daniel gestures.

 

"Well, mystery solved." John looks disinterested, "It looks like we've found ourselves a Goa'uld outpost here. Probably best to call in a strike team to deal with this."

 

Daniel looks skeptically at Durham's readings, "I don't think we're looking at standard Naquada levels here... there's either a mine nearby... or this is... this is weird." 

 

Pulling out one of his Ancient devices, Rodney takes his own readings. "It's possible that we may be looking at source of Naquadria here, these readings are through the roof, there's something down there generating an enormous amount of energy."

 

"It looks practically abandoned. I don't see any other guards beside those two." Vala offers.

 

"Pulling out his handy life sign detector, Rodney tells them, "We've got 6 life forms inside the structure."

 

"If there was a Gould present, there would be more Jaffa stationed here." Vala concludes.

 

Ronon lifts his head, "So, we outnumber them."

 

"They'll still see us coming -we'll be out in the open." John frowns, "I don't like it."

 

Pointing, Daniel tells them, "It looks like, if we make our way down to the other side, there is a more direct access point."

 

"We'll take a look." John nods, "Durham and Sailes, stay to the rear."

 

As they reach what actually looks to be the front of the temple entrance, Daniel exhales in excitement, "I don't think this place was built by the Gould, look at those markings, some of them are Ancient."

 

Durham steps forward to take readings. He moves out of their cover position and into the open space in front of the temple, "I think whatever it is we're-"

 

John cuts him off, "Durham, get your ass back here."

 

"No, it's just-" He cries out in pain suddenly, unable to move, "My leg! Ahhh! Something's stuck."

 

"Damnit" John mutters, "Hold on, we're coming to you."

 

Telling the rest of them to stay in position, John and Ronon attempt a rescue. They try to pull Durham free, while keeping clear the area that has taken hold of his leg. 

 

"Oh, God. It's getting worse! It hurts! It really hurts!! It's like it's pulling through my leg –AGHH!!" Durham sinks to his knees while Ronon and John dig into the loose dirt with their heels.

 

"Too strong. Pulling him-" Ronon pants in frustration.

 

Rodney watches in horror as they loose their grip completely, falling backwards. Durham's body disappears into the ground, something red swirls around them in a maze like pattern. 

 

As he hears as strange electric hum just behind him, Rodney keeps he feet frozen in place and looks back. The outer perimeter around the temple, just a few feet behind them is buzzing with some kind of current. A glowing light illuminates the activation of circular force field. 

 

"Oh, great." Rodney mutters.

 

"Nobody move!" Daniel yells out the obvious, "There's some kind of a sink trap here."

 

Confirming his suspicions with the detector Rodney tells them, "There's an energy barrier that just went down around the perimeter. I'm reading gravity distortions all around us."

 

"Why is it red?!" Sailes gulps nervously, "What is the swirling stuff red? Is that Durham's blood?!"

 

Ronon keeps his gun glued to the temple entrance, "Why we the only ones here?"

 

Vala sounds glib, "Maybe they figure this thing with kill us, so why bother?"

 

"Rodney." John sounds tense.

 

He knows that tone. _Translation: 'Rodney come up with a plan now, please'._  

 

"Okay, okay, okay." Rodney thinks, "Maybe I can find us a way through, there are pockets here... if we can get in, we might have a chance to turn this thing off." Rodney takes a trepidatious step forward, then another. 

 

"Okay." Rodney calls to others behind him, "Follow me." 

 

He looks over to John and Ronon, "We'll make our way to you."

 

Ronon growls acknowledgement and keeps his eyes locked on the structure in front of him.

 

It is a circuitous path, but Rodney winds then slowly in a maze, it a starts to take them around the other side of the structure where they had last seen the guards. 

 

Daniel spots a shape in the sand at same time he does.

 

"Rings." Daniel points. "That must be the way in." 

 

"Hold on." John stops them, "We need a plan. We should assume they know we're outside and will be waiting for us."

 

"So, we'll be ready for them." Ronon growls.

 

"I've actually been in this position before believe it or not..." Vala sounds excited, "They'll be shooting at short range with large staff weapons, terrible for precision. Right. Here's what we do. Trigger the rings and wait to get in the beaming path for the next shot down. They’ll be thrown off long enough for us to take position on second go-round. Be ready to roll and shoot."

 

"Not bad." John gives her a bemused look, "Sailes do you think you can handle that?"

 

"What? I don't even understand what she said."

 

"Can you roll out of the way?" John asks patiently. 

 

"Um, um yeah. I can do that." Sailes sounds uncertain.

 

Stepping around Rodney acrobatically with her long legs, Vala asks Rodney, "Is it safe to keep going straight?" 

 

"Um, just let me see..." He stays close to Vala as she picks her way forward to the rings. 

 

The rest of them follow closely on their heels. 

 

"Okay-dokey. Everybody get ready." Vala tells them.

 

"Wai- Wait." Rodney checks his readings, "It's safe if you want to step up right by the rings. If we all want to get in, we have to be close."

 

Vala waits for everyone to get in position, then she bends down and does a quick back flip, barely touching her feet to the surface and whipping them back before the rings descend. 

 

Rodney blinks in amazement. The rings descend on the platform and retract.

 

"Now!" Vala shouts a second later. 

 

Running inside the ring platform, Rodney holds his rifle ready, his heart beating fast. He sees the flash of light come down around them. He takes a breath... and then he down on the ground rolling. John and Ronon are the first to fire on the guards. Rodney pauses for a second before firing to avoid hitting any of his team members. He sees them; one of them is aiming his staff weapon at he barely he rolls out of the way in time. By the time he firing there are only two of them left. He feels Vala leaning against him and the stutter of her weapon fire with his. 

 

She sighs as the last of them go down, "Easy as... what's the expression?"

 

Rodney catches his breath trying to figure out what she is talking about.

 

"Pie. That's it." She smiles.

 

"Everybody okay?" John calls out.

 

"We're good." Vala calls out cheerfully.

 

"Sailes and I are... in one piece." Daniel calls out.

 

"Rodney." John's tone implies a question. 

 

He understands what John is asking. _Translation, 'Can we make our way out of here?'_

 

"On it.", Rodney stands to get his bearings. 

 

"Whatever this place is, it is old." Daniel stares at the stone walls around them, "Very old. I would say we are in one of the lower levels of a ziggurat." 

 

Checking his sensor readings, as he turns to one of the passageways. Rodney tells him, "This way, professor." 

 

He and Daniel take the lead. Ronon and John are close behind, keeping them covered for any more guards they may encounter. The sensor leads them to a large antechamber. It is dark, but Rodney can make out a stone pillar in the middle of room. 

 

Lights begin to flicker on as they move inside; there are carvings up the side of the tall stone walls that curve into a dome on the top. 

 

"Rodney." John's tone implies enough for Rodney to understand. _Translation, 'Rodney figure out the power source.'_

 

Rodney furrows his brows looking for something other than the stone pillar to explain the source of the energy readings, "I think it might have been activated by the Ancient gene..."

 

"Yes, yes." Daniel trails his hands along the walls, "I've only ever seen a place like this once before. You don't understand. This is amazing. The four walls... Over here we have Ancient, This one is Ancient, that one Asgard." Daniel runs excitedly across the room, "Furling and Nox. The four races of the old Alliance. The SCG once found a repository like this, but we were never able to access it again." 

 

Daniel actives the something on the pillar and a colorful holographic display dances in the air around them.

 

"What is this?" Ronon asks.

 

"This? This is only the most fundamental language known to existence." Daniel points to a red and blue circle linked together, "This language is based on the basic chemistry of the universe... 146 elements. It's a way for distant races to communicate with each other. When I saw the other place, I wasn't fluent in Ancient yet, but now..."

 

"Any of it explain how to power this place down?" John asks.

 

Rodney examines the wall, "No, this is, ah, a history of... of the four galaxies?"

 

"Yes!" Daniel slides his hand along the face of the wall, "The birth place of the Alterans, uh, Ancients, to us. Before they evolved they left their home galaxy, splitting with the rest of their kind, the Ori. They traveled to the Milky Way to seed it with life. But we've never known where they came from until now."

 

Moving his hands over the enigmatic controls on the central pillar, Rodney tries to reason out to the simple divots in the stone.

 

"Before the Ori and the Alterans split," Daniel continues, "They were a race of humanoids that inhabited a part of space they called the four galaxies. Wh-wait, what are you doing?"

 

The holographic display changes and Rodney pulls his hands back in recognition. It is a map of the local cluster of the universe. 

 

"What did you do?" Daniel sounds annoyed.

 

"Calm down, I didn't break it." Rodney turns to John in excitement, pointing at the galactic spiral to his left, "Milky Way..." 

 

Scanning the stars he tells them, "This little one down here is Pegasus."

 

"That one's Pegasus?" Ronon asks." Wait. Why is yours so much bigger?" 

 

Suppressing a smirk, Rodney is about to give a comprehensive scientific answer but Vala beats him to it.

 

"Sometimes, we just have to be happy with what nature provides, big guy." She pats Ronon on the shoulder.

 

He reaches out his finger toward the largest spiral, Andromeda. The holograph seems to be interactive; it zooms in to section of the spiral. The perspective changes from inside part of the outer rim. 4 distinct clusters of stars are highlighted with bright blue hues, where sections of the arms of the galaxy appear to be striated.

 

"Rodney, you're a genius." Daniel proclaims. "This has to be it! Andromeda is the home galaxy where the Ancient Alterans evolved. Do you know what this means?"

 

"That it's full of crazy Ori worshippers who try to burn people who don't agree with them?" Vala sounds bored.

 

"No. Well, yes, that too. But it must have Stargates. And we know there are Archeological remnants that survived the purging of the Ori. Andromeda may hold the answers to some of humankinds greatest questions." 

 

"Yeah, but not the big one." John remarks, "How do we get outta here?"

 

Locating a hidden seam at the base of the pillar, Rodney presses a small divot and a panel pops out.

 

"There's so much here..." Daniel whispers in awe. "About the history of the great alliance, the defeat of the Sekkari threat."

 

"The what threat?" Rodney lifts up his head from the tray of crystals.

 

"Sekkari. It says, uh, a silicon based life from that threatened all life in the Milky Way and beyond."

 

"Rodney." John's tone is displeased. _Translation, 'I always knew there was something about the Sekkari not to be trusted.'_

 

"Er," Rodney looks up to John apologetically, "Well, maybe it will take them a few million years to be a threat again?"

 

"You've had dealings with them?" Daniel asks.

 

"Sort of." John waves his hand impatiently, "We'll sort that out later, there will be plenty of time to study this information once we know we can get in and out of here safely."

 

Sailes lifts his hand, "If we're taking votes, I'd like to go home, please."

 

"This only controls the hologram," Rodney pushes the panel back, "the main power source must be in another room."

 

"All right," John nods, "let's go."

 

Daniel groans but follows the rest of the team out of the room.

 

A wide hall empties onto another large open space. It looks like a dead end but the energy readings are centered here.

 

Ronon ventures ahead, "We got another set of these rings here."

 

"Rodney?" Rodney always knows just what John means just by the intonation. _Translation, 'How many life signs are you reading now.'_

 

Rodney pulls out the life signs detector, "I think we can safely assume the remaining two they are in the room above us."

 

"Do I have to go up there?" Sailes asks fearfully.

 

"No..." John pulls out a revolver, "Take this. We'll come get you in a moment, okay."

 

"Shall I?" Vala tilts her head at John.

 

He nods at her. It really is amazing how that woman can flip her body around, if Rodney wasn't madly in love with John, he would probably have ended up with a crush on her. He wonders for a moment how Daniel can stand it – she flirts with him so shamelessly and constantly, but somehow  
Daniel acts like he is totally immune it. Annoyed by it would be more accurate.

 

Rushing into the ring, Rodney readies his rifle, this time the gunfight is brief and they take their opponents out easily. He brushes himself off and looks around the large upper floor. It is all open space and he doesn't see anything resembling a power source. 

 

Daniel walks to wall covered with Ancient script. "It's a puzzle."

 

Ronon goes to retrieve Sailes whle the rest of them peer at the wall.

 

Daniel points, "There are circles here that need to be matched up, with the related Ancient koans. Question is, which ones..."

 

"Oh, no." Vala groans, "This isn't another one of those things where the temple comes crumbling down if we do the wrong thing is it?"

 

"Hope not." Daniel makes a sarcastic face at her, "Just don’t steal anything. This Naqueda reinforced masonry has probably been here for thousands of years, I would hate to be the one to destroy it."

 

"And I would hate to be on the inside when it get destroyed." John drawls.

 

Rodney notices a pattern, "Do you see how some of these circles are bigger than others... The whole spatial relationship... it's like a model of the relative galaxies."

 

John touches the stones in the upper left hand corner, "If this is Andromeda, these four represent the 4 galaxies." 

 

The fact that John remembers exactly where they galaxies were located makes Rodney's cock twitches with arousal. He loves it that John is so damn smart. 

 

Daniel examines the stones and dials them into varies positions. Nothing happens and he shrugs, "Well, it was worth a shot."

 

"We're still alive." Ronon offers.

 

"Yeah, maybe..." Rodney thinks, "maybe we didn't get it wrong, the puzzle is just incomplete." 

 

"4 galaxies, 4 races." John muses.

 

"Well," Daniel squints, "I know where the Nox homeworld is, Ancients would be Dakara or Earth probably... The Asgard occupied a large region of space... and I have no idea about the Furlings."

 

"But it's not that detailed," Rodney notes, walking to the far right side of the wall. "It's too big to be on a planetary basis. The Milky Way... It would just be these circles here."

 

"There are 4 intersecting circles here..." Daniel studies the section, "Could it really be as simple as finding an Ancient riddle that fits them together?"

 

"Is that simple?" Ronon snorts in amusement.

 

"Okay. I think I got it." Daniel tilts his head from one side and then to the other. He turns the panels in the rock face one by one. As the last one clicks in place, they hear a rumbling sound.

 

"Uh, oh." Vala makes a face.

 

A wall begins to move, sliding down into the lower level and opening up a hidden chamber.

 

"Oh thank God!" Sailes whimpers.

 

"You do a lot of off-world missions?" Ronon asks the geologist.

 

"No, no, first and only." The man shakes his head, "If we make it out of here." 

 

The wall recedes completely revealing the familiar sight of a ZPM casing. Rodney opens it with excitement and pulls the module to examine it. Hard to say how much power it has left. The IOA will be thrilled that they have found a possible power supplement for the Atlantis platform. He plugs it back in-

 

"Rodney?" John's tone sounds confused. _Translation: give me good reson why we’re not taking this thing with us._

 

"We need the power for the rings," Rodney explains, "I've just got to pull a few crystals to shut this thing down." 

 

After finding the right panel Rodney fiddles with the control tray for a few minutes. "All right. That should do it."

 

"But how do you know?" Sailes asks with dread.

 

"Still got this," Rodney pulls out his tablet, "we can read the energy signatures before we try it out."

 

Sailes nods uncertainly and Ronon pats him on the back, "We'll be okay."

 

As they ring back up to the surface, Rodney takes some readings and smiles with satisfaction, "All clear. But we probably want to head back the way we came, since that ridge up there is so high." 

 

When they reach the other side of the structure, Rodney regrets that recommendation. The pulverized remains of Durham have left a zig-zigging stain in the dirt. Rodney looks away feeling sick to his stomach.

 

"Oh my God." The geologist utters in shock shaking visibly.

 

"Come on buddy," John pulls Sailes by the shoulder, "It'll be okay. We'll have a recovery team come back straight away; we'll get him back home where he belongs. Right now, let's just focus on getting you back through the gate."

 

Rodney feels a rush of pride at John's solid protectiveness. He is a good man. The best man Rodney has ever known. So strong, but gentle when he needs to be... And for some strange reason he has decided that Rodney is worthy of his complete attention and devotion. He scarcely feels worthy of John's love, but he is so happy to have it.  
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	7. He's fucked John well beyond 16 times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _John and Rodney get to be as gay as they want in San Francisco.  
> ._

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Stretched out across John, Rodney pants, and deeply satisfied. He was a little tired to begin with from sparring with Ronon earlier, and now after this vigorous sexual romp with John, he is completely delirious. 

 

Still awake somehow, but drowsy and heavy with the satiation of his lust. He feels a little selfish given how John has been letting Rodney take him night after night -even though John screams out in pleasure and begs for Rodney give it to him. 

 

He lifts his head up off of John's chest and peers into his eyes. John traces his hand along the side of Rodney's face, "You okay, Mere?"

 

"Me? I'm amazing." 

 

John smiles, "Good, I just wanted to make sure I didn't do anything to make you think about..."

 

"Oh." Rodney gulps, "Do you... think about... that a lot?"

 

"I just try to think about you and what you need."

 

Rodney kisses John's chest, "I have everything I need... I just hope I'm... I mean, that you have everything you need. I know... you're used to being on top... I haven't forgotten what you can do with that massive cock of yours-" 

 

"I don't need to do anything else right now..." John wraps his arms around Rodney and hugs him tightly. "I can be a great pilot, I just think right now you should be the one at the controls."

 

"For how long?" Rodney blinks softly.

 

"As long as you want..." John say tenderly, "Whenever you want."

 

"Well, to be fair," Rodney reasons, "I've fucked you at least... more than 16 times."

 

"You've lost count?"

 

"It depends on whether or not you count the hand jobs and... never mind, I guess I lost count after a while.” Rodney leans his head up so that his chin is resting on John’s chest, “It just, you know, it feels so good that I don't have to worry that each time might be last." 

 

Leaning his head back down into the crook of John's neck, Rodney smells the woodsy musk laced with the hint of Aqua Velva. Somehow, it is still a surprise that he can have John now, that the longing and love isn't unrequited anymore. 

 

"I like knowing I can have you whenever I want." He murmurs happily.

 

"And you do." John reminds him.

 

"I do."

 

"There's been a whole lot of sex." Rodney can feel John’s face break out into a grin.

 

"There really has." Rodney teases, "Yeah. Yeah, so I expect you to keep putting out."

 

"Looking forward to that." John chuckles.

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* * *

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Now that the Asgard beaming technology salvaged from the Shin-Tzu has been installed in Atlantis, John is taking a day trip to the ranch. He was surprised by how quickly Dave was able to get the U.S. government to recognize it as an autonomous state. Soon after they immediately began construction on the New Athos site. 

 

The Athosians loved a lot of John's plans and wanted to use some of his visions for a town center while retaining their more traditional look for the residential structures. Having the means to do this was another matter. One that Dave took it upon himself to fund. 

 

Using one of his Companies to make a sizeable charitable contribution, Dave was able to funnel the use of the assets to help the development. John is excited to see how construction is coming along. That and he is hoping to take the truck into the San Francisco. There are some books there he'd like to look into.

 

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* * *

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Rodney was a little miffed that John didn't take him with when he went to see the ranch developments but he supposes he had his reasons. But now the two of them are taking a long weekend into San Francisco, which more than makes up for not getting to see the ranch. 

 

After beaming into a private cabin into the Presidio, John calls a car to take them across town to the hotel Rodney picked out, known simply, as the 'W'. The drive there takes them up and down the colorful hills of the charming scenery. The land levels out as they reach the more modern downtown section known as SOMA. 

 

John is little disappointed to be on flat ground surrounding by modern buildings, since he prefers the older architecture, but Rodney assures him that it will be more comfortable than a quaint B&B type hotel. The room is quite nice, and John stretches out and relaxes while Rodney fusses with his overnight bag. 

 

"This is almost as comfortable as our bed." John informs. "Almost".

 

"I'll check it out in a minute, I just want makes sure..." Rodney consults one of his guidebooks, "I mean I was here once a long time ago, but it's probably a lot different now... So many things to do... Have any ideas about what to see first?"

 

"I just wanna relax. I don't ready care. You chose, show me what you like." 

 

Frowning over the pages Rodney takes the directive very seriously.

 

"Rodney." _Translation: come over and pay attention to me._

 

Rodney dog-ears a page and lays down on the bed with John. "Ahhhhhhhhhhh." Rodney sighs into the mattress

 

"You see?"

 

"I see." Closing his eyes, Rodney lets himself relax. He feels John's hand reaching across his chest and curling Rodney into a comfortable embrace. His body melts completely into John arms. 

 

"Or we could just lay here for a couple days." Rodney sighs, brushing his lips across John's neck.

 

"I'd be fine with that." John tightens his arms around Rodney's waist. He leans in and takes Rodney mouth tenderly in his, kissing lightly across the surface of his lips, then teasing him open to take his tongue. 

 

Rodney swoons, if that is possible lying down. He loves the way it feels when John kisses him like this. There is so much passion and desire, so much tenderness, he feels like he is the only thing that exists in John's world. 

 

He slides his hands up familiarly into John's thick hair, tugging it gently in his fingers and using his hold to keep John entwined with him. Not that John seems to need any encouragement. John licks Rodney's lips, then sucks on them before snaking his tongue around Rodney's. Rodney pulls him in deeper, God he loves this man so much, he is helpless to how John makes him feel. His eyes roll back into his head under his closed lids as he kisses back.

 

"You know what's cool?" John pulls back suddenly, "We can walk out the same door here and not have to worry-"

 

"Very cool." Rodney catches John's lips in his again and kisses them soundly, "I think we should try it out... and then come back here, walk into the same door together and-"

 

"Then what?" John pushes Rodney's guidebook off the bed playfully, "You got that part of the trip all planed out too?"

 

Flushing, Rodney answers, "No. I didn't mean-" A passionate kiss from John abbreviates his thoughts. 

 

"Hmm. Mmm. Something like that though." 

 

John laughs and pulls him off the bed, "Okay Mere, show me your plan."

 

Rodney takes John to the place he remembers liking the most in San Francisco –The Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park. It is a languid romantic stroll and Rodney revels in the fact that the two of them can walk through the garden holding hands. 

 

The tea at the 'tea garden' is the only thing about it that sucks, so Rodney opts for a tea house in Noe Valley instead called Samovar. It's a little too Californian, with it's Zen food and finely aged leaves, but he introduces John to Pureh. 

 

The next best thing to coffee, it tastes like fresh Earth and Peat Moss. John almost spits the first sip back and Rodney has to convince him to give it another chance, it's an acquired taste. 

 

"Tastes like something Ronon would drink." John smirks.

 

But he comes around before too long. The two of them laugh at the serious tone of the café and the new age music but get seriously hopped up on the black tea beverage. The servers are slow and it takes them forever to get out of there. 

 

Eventually, Rodney is pulling John's hand to walk up 18th street towards the Castro. John's warm palm folds into his easily and Rodney feels giddy about walking hand in hand so freely.

 

"Where are we going now?" John asks with a sparkle in his eye.

 

"Actually... I was thinking, well, we're only a few blocks away from the gay district... so why not check it out?"

 

John tilts his head curiously and squeezes Rodney's hand with affection.

 

The shops and the characters get more colorful as they walk closer to the Castro district. Rodney is wide-eyed at the men of all varieties. Young slinky boys with buzzed and dyed hair, older men in leathers, and everything in between. Most of them don't look quite as normal as John or Rodney, he wonders if it is obvious that they are tourists. 

 

As they reach Castro Street, Rodney takes a right, heading up toward the landmark Castro Theater and Market Street. He pops into a corner shop on the way and buys some water for himself and some gum for John. "Here, spearmint, your favorite." 

 

"Thanks." John grins.

 

Rodney stares at the street scene around them and feels ebullient, "Just think about it... We can totally be as gay as we want right now!"

 

Popping a piece of gum in his mouth, John quips, "Well, that was always the dream."

 

Embarrassed by his outburst, Rodney looks down at the sidewalk, "I just meant, they may be moving Atlantis soon, so we might as well enjoy it here while we can."

 

He feels John's strong hands reach around the back of his neck and pull him in for a sweet minty tasting kiss. John lingers, holding Rodney close and teasing his lips. Rodney wraps his arms around John neck with abandon, reaching on his tiptoes. 

 

There is the sensation of movement buzzing all around them, of no one particularly taking notice of this anonymous pair of men sharing an embrace. Rodney closes his eyes in pleasure, wishing he could always be this free and affectionate with John. 

 

He breaks into a wide grin, interrupting the kisses with his delighted expression. John kisses him on the cheek.

 

"It's pretty cool", John admits, talking Rodney's hand back in his. "It's feels cheesy and weird, but it's nice that I can stop worrying about being court-martialed for a minute and kiss you if I feel like it."

 

Rodney laughs and pulls him to a streetcar stop with a green vintage car called 'the F line'. 

 

He explains, "This one will take all the way down to the waterfront, we can get off wherever we want... I know, let's get off at the ferry building and walk though Chinatown."

 

"Sure, just as long as we get food at some point, those rabbit pellets from the tea shop aren't really going to hold me over."

 

Snapping his fingers in excitement Rodney tells him, "I know just the place, 'House of Nanking' a local secret and best Chinese food around. Afterwards we can go for drinks at 'Vesuvio', it's an eccentric bar, a remnant of the Beat poetry era – you'll love it."

 

"Rodney, do I honesty seem like someone who reads beat poetry?"

 

"Trust me you'll love it, they have beer there." 

 

"Lead the way." John follows Rodney onto the streetcar and sidles up close in the old fashioned seat his arm is slung easy across Rodney's shoulder.

 

John leans into Rodney's as the carriage moves slowly down the tracks and a collection of odd characters make their way on and of the carriage. "I don't think they're really gonna move it, do you?"

 

"Well," Rodney thinks for a moment, "it's kind of in the way where it is, with the international maritime shipping and all."

 

"Yeah," John lowers his voice, "but what are they going to do? Power up the stardrive and waste what little power we have left? They're got to keep the cloak on indefinitely if it's going to stay on Earth, and I don't see the IAO letting go of the chair defense platform."

 

"I dunno, they were talking about pulling it down the coast a bit, or maybe relocating to on of Hawaii's remote islands."

 

"I could get used to Hawaii." John rubs his chin.

 

"I thought we weren't going to talk about work?" Rodney gives him a playful shove.

 

"Right." John looks apologetic, "No work, just you and me." 

 

He gives Rodney such a dazzling, open expression of love that it melts him completely. He squeezes John's hand and rests his head against him with his eyes closed, swaying a little with the movement of the streetcar. 

 

The rest of the day is a magical adventure, but Rodney can't wait to get back to their hotel room that night. Once they get back, exhausted from a day of exploration, John takes a shower. Rodney lounges on the couch with a TV remote, switching though the channels without really watching. 

 

John comes out looking clean and ready to play. He's wearing nothing but a pair of boxers shorts and makes himself comfortable on the far side of the couch. Kicking at Rodney's legs. 

 

The glint in his eye tells Rodney that he is playing one of their new favorite games: history rewrite. They think back to all of the times when the almost hooked up but didn't, playing out the scenes differently, sometimes mashing them all together in a confused jumble until they fall into each other’s arms.

 

"What do you think you're think you're doing, Sheppard?" Rodney kicks him back with a frown.

 

"I'm sick of hearing about your big plans to be with Katie." John mock scowls, "You know I'm the one you belong with, you should really just forget about her."

 

"Colonel," Rodney feigns surprise, "I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about. Un-Unless you mean that time I tried to kiss you. You told me never to go there again, so I haven't-"

 

"Yeah" John snarls, "Well, now I'm going there. No one is allowed to have you but me –that's an order."

 

Rodney acts flustered, "But I-"

 

"I know" John's voice is suddenly tender, "You deserve to be happy. But I want to be the one to make you happy." 

 

Love shines through John's eyes despite to ruse. He leans up and grabs Rodney, in swift movement he has him pinned down on the couch so Rodney can barely move.

 

"Ohhhhhh." Rodney's heart flutters.

 

"I can't let you go." John holds his gaze and then brushes his lips lightly across Rodney's cheekbone. "I should never have let you go, now it's too late for you to get away"

 

"That's okay, Colonel, I don't want you to." 

 

John's eyes twinkle, "You know, you can call me John when we're off duty."

 

"Okay, John." Rodney whispers breathlessly.

 

"I'm going to take what I've been wanting for so long." John crushes his lips against Rodney’s mouth, tasting, twirling, demanding. He can feel every inch of John’s sinew bracing himself against his body, John’s cock rock hard. 

 

But doesn't he doesn't 'take' Rodney; he seduces him gently and carefully. He can trust John with his body and soul, knowing he will never use his raw sexual power to take Rodney before he is ready. 

 

No matter how much John tosses him around and manhandles him during their games, Rodney is perfectly safe being at his mercy. He is lost in the pure bliss smelling John's warm skin and the musk under the Aqua Velva. 

 

He loves playing through the scenes, that one where John kisses him and instead of rejecting him, the alternate ending to the massages or the blowjob, the one where John kisses him and tells Rodney he how hard he has fallen for him before he leaves for that trip through the Stargate... or maybe the hug in the jumper, where more had happened.

 

Then there's the one where John stays the night after telling him about Lyle... The list goes on and on. For so long they lived so close, yet so far away. And now it is a fun game they play to change to outcomes... It adds to the novelty of finally being together it, the fact that Colonel John Sheppard truly of his.

 

Blinking up at John innocently, Rodney begins, "You told me when we were in Scotland..."

 

"Yeeeees?"

 

"You said that I was loveable."

 

"Because you are."

 

"I wanted to -to grab onto you... and ask you, 'why _you_ didn't love me, then'?"

 

John's body grinds closer and his arms tighten around Rodney. He holds his lips a hair from Rodney's face, "I did love you. If you had asked me that then, I would have lost all control. I would have admitted everything, told you how much I needed you. I would have made love to you on that bed and begged you to give Katie up for me."

 

"Really?" Rodney asks hoping it isn't part of the game.

 

"Really, Mere. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself."

 

“Colonel..." Rodney rakes his hands through the thick dark mop of hair.

 

"McKay..." John grinds his lean form into him and moans as Rodney clenches his hair, "When I asked to stay at your apartment, I wasn't quite expecting..."

 

"What were you expecting, Sheppard?" Rodney taunts him, catching on to story plot John is weaving.

 

"I wanted to share your bed, not the couch." John growls.

 

Rodney grabs tighter into John's hair, making him wince a little, "That's your problem, MAJOR. You just think you can have anything you want, whenever you what." 

 

A hint of Rodney's past frustration comes through in his voice. John smiles down at Rodney, brushing some of his hair away from his forehead, "Are you saying that I can't have you, McKay?"

 

"That's not the point." Rodney's stomach flutters and he feels dizzy even though he is still lying down and trying to sound unaffected. 

 

"I think you've tried to deny it as much as I have..." John trails his fingers along the side of Rodney's face, "but you want me as much as I want you. You told me, I've always had a power over you...”

 

The playful fight of struggling under Johns’ weight stops and Rodney's body goes slack. " Not fair...”

 

"How much power?" John licks and bites Rodney’s neck, keeping him pinned under him on the couch.

 

With his heart beating wildly in his chest, Rodney's voice is breathless as he answers, “You own me, you have the power to do anything you want with me. Complete control; my heart is yours. " 

 

Rodney sighs closing his eyes for a moment, "I can't believe you didn’t always know that."

 

"Mere." John holds Rodney's face lightly and snakes a hand behind his neck. "If I had known... you would have been mine such a long time ago. God, I wish I’d known how I could make you feel. I would have-“ John's mouth closes over Rodney's lips, slick with desire. John body shudders as his tongue rolls with Rodney’s, crushing his red and kiss swollen lips. 

 

After a moment of losing himself in the desire, John pulls back enough to look into Rodney’s eyes, "you know you have the same control over me."

 

Rodney stares back lost in the pools of John’s green eyes, “Then I’m telling you not to leave my apartment, to take me on this couch and make love to me, MAJOR. No more games, I want your heart to be mine. You belong to me.”

 

“I do.” John’s forehead dips down rest lightly against Rodney’s, “Why else would I ask to bunk with you while we were on Earth? I had to be near you, to touch you. And if I’m really honest about it, maybe I was hoping you’d invite me to your bed.”

 

“Take me to my bed then.” Rodney taunts 

 

"Wait.” John smiles furtively, "I want you to take a shower first."

 

Sensing the game has come to an end, Rodney asks, "What do you have in mind?" 

 

"You'll see" John gives him innocent smile.   
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	8. John belongs to him now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _John has been learning some new techniques to impress Rodney in bed.  
> ._

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Knowing John has something planned, Rodney feels simultaneously nervous and excited. Obviously, John wouldn't be thinking of taking him, not literally – not without talking to him first. 

 

Still, it has to be something they haven't done before. This feeling of John being the one in control is thrilling. As the droplets of water hit Rodney's bare skin, he exhales in anticipation, wondering if John will be naked waiting for him. He scrubs himself squeaky clean while daydreaming about the Colonel. The cold, unreachable Colonel, whose heart finally belongs to Rodney.

 

When he emerges from the bathroom, Rodney has a tight towel wrapped about his waist to conceal his growing erection. John is splayed out on the bed, completely bare except for his dog tags. 

 

He looks so perfectly sexy, every inch of him a sensual curve. His meaty cock lies almost fully hard up against one of his legs waiting for Rodney to bring it to full attention. John's eyes sparkle in invitation, so open and untroubled by any of the barriers that once kept his face so guarded. 

 

Rodney's heart flips with joy, to know that look of love in John's expression is for him, only for him. And when John's boyish face breaks out into an uncontained grin, Rodney loses the last of his nonchalant sexy gait and hurries up onto the bed, eager to touch John and run his hands over that perfect body. 

 

John shakes his head in wonder as he smooths his hands over Rodney's skin, "Ahhh. You are so beautiful." One of his hands runs down Rodney's back, cupping one of his full and pert cheeks 

 

"So damn sexy." John mutters as he squeezes Rodney's ass. His hands continue to explore Rodney's body as he murmurs words of affection and appreciation. No one has ever made Rodney feel so desirable. Desperate to shower John with the same love and tenderness, he runs his hands intimately over John's body, telling him how much he loves him, how perfect and sexy he is.

 

"Shhh." John kisses his mouth to quiet his words, "Right now, I want to worship you. I just want to make you feel..." 

 

John loses his train of thought as he kisses Rodney deeply, lapping his tongue and swirling it across Rodney's. When Rodney is finally able to come up for air, he argues, "But I-"

 

"Shhh..." John pushes him back to the bed and climbs on top of him. He holds Rodney's head in his hands, "I can't believe how hot you are, Mere." 

 

He kisses Rodney's jawline and down to his collarbone. He rakes his soft tongue over the sensitive tissue on Rodney's nipples and gently sucks. 

 

Rodney's waist arches upward in pleasure, seeking the momentary contact with John's hard cock. "Ohhhh God." He hisses in pleasure as John licks and sucks on his chest. "God"

 

He feels John's thick cock trailing over his stomach as John lowers himself down the bed, kissing Rodney's abdomen. His legs are being pulled up and pillow placed under his ass.   
He inhales with excitement as John spreads his legs and kisses the smooth insides of Rodney's legs. Rodney gasps as John strong hand takes hold of his cock. There is something different about the way John is touching him. Less raw and unadulterated, more... skilled, somehow. He is using variety of techniques...

 

Oh God, that's amazing what John's mouth is doing. John's mouth on his skin is pure heaven. He kisses... licking, and sucking... Ahhh. Suddenly, Rodney feels John's tongue tracing a circle around his hole, urging him to relax. He laps at the opening, then stops, to ask, "Is this okay, Mere?"

 

Stunned, Rodney isn't sure what to say... It's okay, it's totally okay. He just wasn't expecting...

 

"See, I..." John kisses Rodney's inner thigh, "I did a little reading myself, and I thought I'd impress you."

 

Quiet laughter shakes Rodney's body.

 

"What?" John sits back looking a bit defensive, "How is that funny? I'm just trying to be a good lover."

 

"Oh. It's not funny." Rodney sits up takes John's face in his hands, "It's just so adorable. No one has ever... No one's ever cared so much about making me happy."

 

"Well, maybe it's just that I don't want you to win." John shrugs playfully.

 

"Win?"

 

"At sex. By being better than me. Maybe I had to even the scoreboard a little bit." 

 

Meeting Rodney's eyes, John’s looks almost bashful, "Okay, I care... a lot... I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel."

 

"You are good." Rodney presses his chest up against John's and breaths in intoxicating scent. 

 

"So, now I'm even better... better than you probably." John taunts.

 

"Oh, yeah? How do you figure?" Rodney challenges.

 

"You'll just have to let me try and find out. How do you feel about rim jobs?"

 

"I haven't..." Rodney blushes, "Uh, I haven't really. Sorry, this is a little surreal."

 

John smiles like he is enjoying throwing Rodney off balance, "Well, you said that you weren't up to giving blowjobs or bottoming right now, so I figured, I should get educated on everything else that might be on the menu."

 

He is moved by the time and effort John has clearly made. His eagerness to please Rodney feels so noble and romantic. Rodney's cock stiffens as he thinks about how he will take John's clean tight hole after John is done pleasuring him. 

 

"Oh. God. I can't wait to fuck you."

 

"I can't wait either..." John's eyes glaze with lust, "But will you let touch you first?"

 

Gulping nervously, Rodney nods and lets John lower him back on the bed. When he kisses Rodney it is dominant and passionate, his hands roam hungrily over Rodney's body. 

 

"You make me want you so damn much." John takes Rodney's hand and brings it to his engorged cock. "You make me so hard, Mere."

 

Rodney trembles as John works his way down his body again, opening him layer by layer. He is ready for it this time as John's mouth explores him. Rodney hasn't actually experienced this before and isn't sure what to expect. John's hands spread his cheeks and his tongue, soft and wet, pushes in. Rodney relaxes and gives him entrance. 

 

John's tongue thrusts in and out, licks the edges and thrusts again. The sensation is delicate, tingly and good, so, so, good. Especially with John's hand stroking his cock... 

 

There is no need to tell John that this is one thing on the menu Rodney has never actually sampled before. Just as Rodney is surrendering to the bliss, John's mouth moves up again, sucking his balls, then sliding up at the base of his cock. The tongue laps at the head of Rodney's cock, licking off the precum. 

 

Oh. Shit. John's mouth is licking his cock. Fuck. Licking, now sucking, sucking it so good. Oh, God. It doesn't seem like it is John's first time giving a blowjob, it's fucking amazing. The way John is flicking the head of his cock... Ohhh. 

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* * *

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The warm desire creeps up John's chest and into his throat. His hunger for Rodney keeps growing despite taking him so deeply in his mouth. Rodney's cock is huge, too big to get the entire thing in, but he sucks on it greedily trying to get more each time. 

 

John moans with desire as his bobs his head up and down on Rodney's hard cock. The taste and feel of him is intoxicating. Fuck, he wants it all, he wants to make Rodney feel all of this. He slides his mouth off of the huge shaft and looks up at Rodney feeling awed by the depth of his own feelings.

 

"Mere, I don't know if you'd like this, but... would you like it if I touched you inside too?" For a moment John wishes he hadn't asked, he doesn't want to push him if he isn't ready.

 

"It was just an idea to make you feel good..." John shakes his head, "but if it feels even a little weird, I don't want to-"

 

Rodney's eyes are full of love and intensity, the way he is looking at John, he can feel how much power he has over Rodney. His eyes are wide and vulnerable. John has the power to hold his heart completely and Rodney wants to be held. John knows that look because he has felt it himself when Rodney unraveled him and held his soul.

 

"I want you to." Rodney whispers breathlessly. His arms fumble and reach for the lube on the hotel bed stand and he hands it to John. 

 

Palming the bottle, John dips down kiss Rodney tenderly, "I love you, you know." 

 

"I know." Rodney whispers.

 

"I'll make sure no one can ever hurt you, I just want to protect you and make you feel wonderful."

 

As Rodney nods, his dazzling blue shine up at John and John loves how open they are for him, "I only ever want to make you feel good, Rodney. You're the most important thing in the world to me. You're everything." 

 

Rodney sighs with pleasure.

 

"If I ever do anything makes you uncomfortable, even just for a moment, I want you tell me... Can you do that for me, Mere?"

 

John stops himself from kissing Rodney's cheekbones, just under those expressive eyes. He leans back, waiting for an answer. 

 

"Uh, yeah." Rodney seems to notice the loss of sensation and his eyes flutter open again, "I would tell you."

 

His body hums with satisfaction as he reaches for Rodney's cock. He teases Rodney, licking and biting his nipples softly, before he takes what he really wants in his mouth, Rodney's cock. 

 

While he sucks on the thick cock, John's hands play over Rodney's sensitive abdomen and inner legs, then he fondles Rodney's balls in rhythm to the cock in his mouth. He uses the techniques Rodney used on him to drive him wild so many years ago –plus a few things he picked up from reading those sex books. 

 

He finds the small bottle and applies some lube to his fingers without changing pace. His lips and cheeks spread wide enjoying the feeling of having Rodney inside his mouth. He swirls his tongue over the head each time he pulls his head back up. 

 

Using one hand to squeeze down the slick saliva over the base of Rodney's cock, he loses himself in the intuitive dance between his hand and the motion of his mouth. The excitement and the warmth in his chest is growing as he dances his wet fingers over Rodney tight pink hole. 

 

Rodney's breath hitches as he bears down. God. John remembers how incredibly tight Rodney is and how good it felt to have his cock in him. But they will wait until Rodney is ready; when he fucks him, John wants it to be right –not just a sexual release. 

 

Two of John's dripping fingers press into Rodney waiting hole. He eases them in slowly while worshipping Rodney's cock. They inch in deeper and then stop. He doesn't need to go very far, just enough to find the… There it is. 

 

The sweet spot that Rodney had introduced him too. It's so hot having his fingers inside Rodney while taking him with his mouth. He can tell by the noises Rodney is making that he is doing it right. He slides his fingers carefully over the spot, kneading it.

 

Rodney is losing control and John loves feeling that he has the power to make Rodney feel like this. As Rodney’s hips arch up to meet John's mouth, he moans to the motion of John’s fingers rubbing over his prostate. The lust is making John’s head swim but he keeps his focus, he wants to be as good as Rodney is at bringing him to the edge and back again. 

 

Keeping his eyes closed, John listens to everything Rodney's body is telling him, the breath, the heat, the pulse, any movement he can use to intuit Rodney's need. And he does just that, gives Rodney what he needs before he himself is aware of it. John abandons himself to the pleasure of it, it feels like second nature now, he doesn't have to think, he can just take Rodney in. 

 

Pleased with himself that he has been able to keep Rodney reeling in ecstasy for so long, John reluctantly moves away from Rodney's delicious cock. Now he will give the control back to Rodney. He will let Rodney take him. He craves that feeling, he needs Rodney to fuck him.

 

Sighing Rodney tells him, "Jesus Christ. How did you get so good at that? I thought you said you'd never- Oh. It doesn't matter. Oh my God, I wanna fuck you so bad now-"

 

"Mmmmph." John cuts him off with a hungry kiss. He lays on top of Rodney's body, relishing the contact of skin on skin. His eyes dilated with arousal.

 

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* * *

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Rodney's face goes heavy with lust; he reaches his arms up around John and rolls him onto his back.

 

"God, baby you are so hot" Rodney looks down at John and slicks his hands with lube, playing with John's cock first and then with his hole. John makes it easy to slip a couple fingers in. Rodney finds the prostate and massages it while kissing John deeply. 

 

John's moans of pleasure reverberate in his own throat and Rodney can't believe how hot this is. Everything about John is a turn on, but this is just too amazing. In moment he will take John and have him writhing all over the bed. Rodney bites down on John's lower lip.

 

"God, I can't wait to have you."

 

"Take me." John begs, trembling.

 

Whatever patience he had has given way, all he can think about now is possessing John… John begging to be fucked. 

 

"Oh God." Rodney pulls a pillow under John ass and plays with his cock as he lines it up to John's hole. He kisses the lower stomach in reverence. A little more lube and he is ready. 

 

His slick hand grips John's cock, he using his other to guide, to push his cock in. Seeking the entry that John is giving him. God, god, god. John is so tight but he’s used to taking it now, it’s easier to get inside. 

 

And what makes it so hot is that John craves the feeing of Rodney inside him, can't seem get enough of it. Rodney angles back to rub the prostate with his strokes, still clenching and pulling John's long cock. 

 

John shudders and his eyes roll back in his head. He doesn't have to say anything, Rodney know what his lover feels and what he wants. He leans forward to let the dog tags John gave him sway along John's lean torso. He pumps slowly into John easing all the way in.

 

"This is what you wanted, baby? You need me to fuck you so you can feel have much I love you?"

 

"I... Oh-Mere." John is breathless, his mouth hanging open, "I need it -Oooooh."

 

"You like belonging to me?" Rodney speeds up his thrusts, still not too deep, or hard yet. He kisses John's face, "...only me ....the way I belong to you?" 

 

It isn't easy holding his balance over John, while fucking him and giving him a hand job, but he really is just that good. He can control everything John is feeling, the only thing that takes a sustained effort is the concentration to keep himself from cumming right away. John feels so tight and perfect, like his ass was meant the give Rodney's cock perfect pleasure. He likes knowing he was John's first, that he will be his only. 

 

Rodney has been John's first everything. The first man to fuck him. the first person John ever really let his guard down with, to trust with his stories, to open his heart to. God, he loves this man so much. He moves his body, thrusting short and deep into John. Everything movement radiates his devotion and surrender to this love. He knows John can feel it by the way he is looking into Rodney's eyes.

 

Then John's eyes roll back again in his head again, lost in the bliss, clenching the bed sheets and swearing, "Oh God, Yeah. Fuck Rodney, Rodney. Rodn- fuck me harder, I'm ready for it. Jesus, Rodney. Oh Fuck. Fuck. Fuck"

 

And Rodney gives it to him, every inch he is begging for, He fucks John hard and deep, not forgetting to hit the prostate on the way in and out.

 

John's body starts to shake. Rodney is mesmerized by the sight of his lover coming undone for him then he lets his own passion build, timing it so he and John can cum together. 

 

The sound of his own voice screaming drowns out the noises John is making as he convulses under Rodney's hard cock. As Rodney swells to completion, all he can think is how much he loves this man. 

 

He lets his chest onto John's feeling in the inhale and the exhale of breath until he is soft enough to pull out. John makes a small moan as Rodney leaves his body. Rodney rolls to his side and pulls John into the crook of his shoulder. This might almost be his favorite part –the afterglow. Almost.

 

"God, I love you." John whispers.

 

"But I love you just little bit more." And John is too dazed to argue, as Rodney pulls in him closer.  
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	9. Conduct unbecoming an officer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _When it looks like John and Rodney are about to be outed, Vala puts on a surprising performance attempting to cover for them._

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As the team sits around the cafeteria table listening John and Rodney tell them about San Francisco, Ronon smirks at their description of the poo tea. Why they ever thought he would like something like that is beyond him. But he can see they are happy. Actually, he’s never seen John so happy; he’s a changed man. The hardness and tension always held behind his surface smile is gone, like he’s let go of a terrible burden.

 

“Yeah, well.” Ronon laughs, “Sounds awful to me but Teyla likes that tea stuff.”

 

“Did you guys see lots of hills with cars chasing each other?” Vala leans forward expectantly, “On Earth, I’ve noticed that when there’s a movie in San Francisco, the cars are always chasing other down _really_ steep hills.”

 

Daniel turns to her with a withering expression, “Yes, Vala, I’m surprised they managed not to get hit by one. Since we’ve established that movies are a very accurate representation of what life on Earth is like.”

 

“Okay, my question yesterday about vampires was totally valid.” Vala raises a finger, “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed a similarity between the Earth legends and the actual Wraith.”

 

“No, I don’t seem to recall reading anything in the Pegasus mission reports about the Wraith, um, what did you say happens to them in sunlight?

 

“Well they sparkle.” Vala gestures with her hands in the air, “They get sparkly.”

 

Ronon groans with the sudden realization of what Vala is referencing and sags his head down into his hand to cover his eyes. John had warned him about this when he and Jennifer started dating. Ronon used to like watching movies with John, they used to watch a lot of horror and monster movies together. But when he’d started dating Jennifer, John had taken him aside and explained the Earth custom how he would now be expected to watch other things -called ‘chick flicks’.

 

When Jennifer told him she wanted to watch a movie about vampires he’d been excited. He hadn’t braced himself properly for what sitting through this movie called ‘Twilight’ would be like. It was so bad that he couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Usually sitting through one of these chick flicks meant he at least got to cuddle with Jennifer on the couch and she’d always be in the mood for sex afterwards. But she kept glaring at him every time he burst out laughing, telling him it was romantic and he was ruining it for her. No sex that night thanks to sparkly vampires.

 

Ronon lifts his head back out of his hand and shakes his head. “The Wraith are _real_ monsters.” He growls, “They don’t sparkle or play bat-ball in the rain.”

 

Rodney makes a disgusted sound, “Neither, for that matter, do real vampires. I can’t believe one stupid movie is all it takes for to ruin vampires for everyone. Centuries of lore disregarded-“

 

“I’m sorry, Rodney” Daniel interrupts sarcastically, “Did you just say _real_ vampires?”

 

Before Rodney can respond, John calls to Lorne as he passes by their table, "Hey there Lorne, how'd the mission go?"

 

Lorne looks at John with obvious discomfort, "Uh, fine, I guess. How was your trip to San Francisco?"

 

"Great, wanna sit down?" John invites him casually.

 

Giving John a once over, Lorne looks over at Rodney with distaste. "I think I'll take a pass."

 

Ronon leans forward and glares at him. He and Lorne have become friends over the last couple years and he’s never known Lorne to be this rude.

 

"Is there a problem, Major?" John raises his eyebrows.

 

"I don't know if what they are saying is true." Lorne flits his eyes around the table with distrust. "But if there is a chance that's not, you should do something about it sooner than later... It could really affect team morale."

 

"What am missing here?" John looks at his team.

 

Lorne shifts his eyes uncomfortably to the floor, then looks at John like something had soured in his mouth, "Sir... conduct unbecoming an officer..."

 

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* * *

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John's face goes deathly still for a moment, then he smiles to cover up his rising panic, "Still not sure what you're talking about."

 

"Look, I'm not sure what's really going on here... I can just tell you what people, what the men are saying."

 

"And that is?" John's heart is beating too fast and he sure the blood is rushing to his face. All he can do right now is try his best to deny it.

 

"That you and Dr. McKay..." Lorne coughs. "They say you... I'm not even comfortable saying it, sir."

 

"Spit it out." Ronon growls.

 

With a low voice Lorne tells them, "That you're having sexual relations."

 

Here it is, the day he has been so afraid of. John's heart sinks and his hands tremble on the table. He hates himself for feeling so ashamed. Really, the only thing to do is resign quickly.

 

Vala's voice suddenly pierces the hushed air with laughter. She points at John then Rodney in disbelief, "You two... Oh my God. That is priceless. I'm trying to imagine it now."

 

"Michelson saw you... kissing in the kitchen late one night..." Lorne confesses.

 

"You have seen this?!" Ronon pounds his fist on the table.

 

"No. I, I didn't." Lorne admits.

 

The table sits in silence for a moment John feels bile rising in his throat.

 

Vala's voice rings out again in peals of laughter. She looks bite her lower lip as if she is trying to contain herself and bursts out again, hysterically laughing. "That's... Tha.. Oh, John."

 

She grabs his arm playfully from across the table, "Why didn't ever tell me? I'd be willing to try a threesome sometime."

 

Surprised she is trying to cover for him, John looks up at her.

 

"Just... Ah ha ha haaaaa." She giggles looking at Rodney, "Maybe we could start with Ronon instead."

 

"Wait," She looks up Lorne in amusement, "what about you Evan?", calling him by his first name.

 

"You like to join John and I for a, a" Vala's voice fights to hold the laughter back, she squeaks out, "a little romp?"

 

Then she collapses her head onto the table in a fit of laughter.

 

John lets himself breathe again for moment.

 

"I didn't assume it was true." Lorne frowns in confusion, "But... the way you're always together... I mean, it would be easy to see why people would think..."

 

"John," Vala lifts her head up with her eyes flashing with mischief, "is there something you haven't been telling me?"

 

John's mouth curls up on one side in a half smile, his eyes sparkle at Vala like they are sharing a secret. "I think I've shown you just about everything by now."

 

He manages to force a chuckle and looks up at Lorne, "But hey, feel free to share any new rumors, it's always amusing to hear what I've been up to."

 

Confused, Lorne looks over the Vala, "So you two?..."

 

Vala opens her mouth, but John lifts his hands not wanting to drag her into this any further, "I don't... really think that's anyone's business, do you? We wouldn't want to spreading any more rumors."

 

"I really don't mind." Vala smiles at John, "I mean, it's been a while. I don't think we need to keep it a secret anymore."

 

"If she says she doesn't mind..." John feels a swell of gratitude.

 

"Ah, no. No, sir. Sorry, if I offended you." Lorne sighs in relief, "I'm glad to hear that it's just a sick rumor. I was pretty upset to think something like that could be true."

 

"Yeah, well," John smirks coolly hiding his inner storm, "no offense taken."

.  
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* * *

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.

Ronon has to resist the urge to reach up and strangle to Lorne. "I'm offended. On Setada when a man refuses to sit at your table, it is a great insult."

 

"Well..." Lorne clears his throat; "we don't take this kind of thing lightly in the Air Force. I don't know how you do things on Sateda, but we don't tolerate that kind of behavior here."

 

"Yeah, well, now I know not to tolerate sharing a table with you in the future." Ronon glowers with barely contained rage.

 

"Whoa. Hey, Chewie, relax. Water under the bridge." John says causally.

 

"Speak for yourself, Colonel." Rodney pipes up, folding his arms icily over his chest, "I'm definitely insulted. I mean, just the idea..." he gives John a condescending look, "that of all people I would choose... Sheppard? I think if I was playing for the other team, I could do better than that."

 

"Oh yeah?" Vala trails her hand on John's flirtatiously, "Who would you choose?"

 

"Well, anyone I wanted..." Rodney blusters, "I mean, how hard could it be?"

 

"So you're saying you could do better than me?" John snorts derisively at Rodney.

 

"Of course I could." Rodney sneers, "That wouldn't be hard."

 

"Oh yeah?" Feeling proud of his friends for protecting John, Ronon joins in the game with amusement, "How come you're still single, then?" he asks Rodney.

 

"I'm," Rodney glares at him, "I'm still getting over the whole thing with Jennifer, just, just... Besides, you don't know everything about my personal life. For all you know, I'm just too much of a ladies man to settle down."

 

"Right." Ronon forces out a belly laugh to relieve some of his tension, "That's the Rodney we all know."

 

"Poor Rodney." Vala makes a pouty face, "Well, if you get really lonely I'll ask John if you can-"

 

"Please.” Rodney cuts her off, “Don't make me sick."

 

John makes a face at Vala like she has gone too far with a bad joke.

 

Wanting to put an end to this, Ronon looks up at Lorne, still holding his food tray at the head of the table. "Why are you still here?" he asks with overt hostility.

 

"Uh, yeah. I should..." Lorne backs away and walks to the far side of the cafeteria.

 

Once they are out of earshot, Daniel mutters, "Quite a performance."

 

"Thank you." Vala offers him a big toothy grin.

 

"I meant all three of you" Daniel points his fork at John and Rodney.

 

"I was just following her lead." John smiles gratefully at Vala.

 

"See, Daniel, I'm an inspiration." Vala beams, "My former life an actress has served me on so many occasions."

 

"You mean your former life as a con-artist?" Daniel offers.

 

"That was..." Rodney’s arms are still folded tightly to his chest.

 

"Fucked up." Ronon growls.

 

"They're watching us." Vala narrows her eyes.

 

Ronon looks up across the room where Lorne is sitting with a bunch of military men.

 

"Is Michelson with them?" John's face is clearly nervous now and he seems frozen in place, unwilling or unable to look behind him.

 

"I don't know who that is." Ronon shrugs apologetically.

 

"Sorry, me either." Vala frowns, "But we should..."

 

She snakes both her hands across the table taking John's hands in hers. "Give them a bit more of a show." Making a sexy face at John, she glides the palm of her hand up against John's, guiding him to follow her example.

 

"I am..." Her voice gets low, "really good at making sultry faces... so I'll just keep talking..."

 

Vala bats her eyes coquettishly, "but since they can see my face, it will look like what you're saying to me is very, very dirty."

 

John unfreezes a little and gives a small smile "You really think he could do better than me?" he asks her humorously.

 

"Definitely not." Sighing with passion, Vala pulls John's hand up to her face and staring at him with fake longing.

 

"Aren't you overdoing it just a bit?" Daniel rolls his eyes.

 

"Oh, Daniel, you just don't understand our love. Nobody does, do they baby?"

 

John smiles in bemusement and just shakes his head.

 

Ronon shakes his head in astonishment at how good Vala’s performance is.

 

"Now,” Vala purrs to John, “I think we need a finale. I'm going to kiss your hand and let it go in moment." Vala makes a face as if John has just told her something to make her heart beat fast. "I'm going to stand up and get rid of my tray.

 

Now, when I come back, I want you to stand up too. Take me by the waist. Pull me in like you've been waiting for this your whole life. Kiss me in a way that will get everyone in this room talking. We leave the cafeteria together... End scene."

 

"Really?" John cocks his head to one side, "'Cause I-"

 

"Darling." Vala kisses his hand tenderly, "I just have throw away this refuse."

 

She nods at John as is he has told her something meaningful and stands up.

 

Ronon watches her amazement as she walks away. He narrows his eyes at the table of military guys across the room. They are watching her every move.

 

“Rodney,” John whispers keeping his eyes downcast and seeming frozen again, “I can just resign-“

 

“John” Rodney cuts him off but doesn’t look up either, “I’m so sorry.” His voice is quiet and choked, “I don’t want you to have to… I know you don’t want to-”

 

“Guys” Ronon prompts them as he sees Vala walking back to the table, "She's almost back."

 

Rodney squeezes his arms tighter and looks over to John. They both look so tense and afraid. Somehow they have managed to move further apart from their side by side seats. Or maybe it just seems that way. Ronon can’t believe how quickly everything has changed for them. That something so stupid could be allowed to cause them so much pain. He fights the urge to get up and beat the living crap out of every guy sitting at that table and staring at them.

 

John’s eyes finally flash over to Rodney full of dread and uncertainty. Rodney lifts his chin stubbornly and nods at John.

 

Without speaking John’s expression seems to be incredulous that Rodney is indicating his approval.

 

“I think you should do it.” Rodney hisses through his teeth.

 

“Guys.” Ronon tilts his head to indicate that Vala is behind John now.

 

John gives a single dazed nod and pushes himself up from the table. As he turns to face her, Vala gives him a smoldering look. John takes a step closer, reaching his arm behind her waist familiarly. The way he pulls her into him, their bodies seem to fit into each other comfortably. It looks very believable to Ronon. The two of them actually make a striking couple. Both of them are tall and lean with dark colored hair.

 

Then John moves in and brushes his lips onto Vala's for a moment. Suddenly he seems to be overtaken by a passionate urge and pulls her to him, giving her long, full tongued kiss.

 

As they part, Vala compliments him loud enough for Ronon to hear, "You're almost as good a kisser as I am."

 

She places a hand on John's face, "One more time." This time they give a sweet tender performance.

 

"Good" she directs him, "Now exit stage."

 

By the time the two of them leave room everyone in the cafeteria is watching.

 

"Whoa. I think that looked real enough." Ronon concludes.

 

"Thank you for that." Rodney makes a bitter face and sets his fork down, "For some reason I don't feel much like eating anymore. I think I'm going to go."

 

"Don't worry Rodney." Daniel reassures him, "Vala kisses everyone. She kissed me the first time I met her, well, after she tried to beat up...

 

Daniel wrinkles his brow, "She's a bit of a fruitcake, she does stuff like that without batting an eye. I say we go with it, not let her performance to go to waste."

 

"What, should so WE start kissing now?" Rodney asks Daniel sarcastically.

 

"No." Daniel blinks in annoyance, "I'm saying just stay at the table... The three of us laugh and talk as if it's the most normal thing in the world."

 

Ronon likes this plan and sidles up into the empty seat next to Daniel that Vala recently vacated. He forces out a big belly and slams his fists onto the table. Daniel and Rodney look up at him in shock and he realizes he may have put too much gusto into his act.

 

He laughs again more quietly, "That was one funny joke."

 

"Ha." Rodney erupts into a spontaneous bubble of genuine laughter, "I was just imagining a what a Satedan comedy troupe would be like."

 

Daniel snickers and puts a hand over his mouth, shaking his head.

 

"Comedy troupe?" Ronon wonders. "Is that military designation?"

 

Both Rodney and Daniel seem to find this hilarious suggestion and their laughter intensifies.

 

"Oh." Rodney giggles, "Ronon why don't you tell us that fine joke? A Satedan joke."

 

Wanting to do his part for the theatrical show Ronon thinks, "Very well. There is one about a Specialist who returns from battle to find his wife has remarried in his absence. He asks why she did this and she tells him that his Commandant told her that he died a year ago.

 

'Why would he do such a thing?!' The warrior demands. 'I don't know' she tells him, 'But you can ask him yourself when he comes home for dinner.'" Ronon grins and waits for a response.

 

"Wow." Daniel's eyes widen and he looks at Rodney.

 

Neither of them seem to get it, Ronon lifts a brow, "Well, it's military humor. Perhaps it doesn't translate."

 

"Oh, it, it translates." Rodney smirks, "It's just not very funny. But thank you Ronon, because you are making me laugh anyway, and it's better to laugh than to think about how my whole life is about to fall apart as soon as I get up from this table."

 

"No. It's funny." Ronon tries to explain, "If you knew the culture-"

 

"No." Rodney interrupts with a gale of laughter, "I really don't think it is, Ronon."

 

"You know," Daniel looks at Ronon apologetically, "every people, they have their strengths. For some it's the glory of battle, for others, the self-deprecating wit..."

 

"You don't think I'm funny?" Ronon challenges him.

 

"Um, No." Daniel glances at Rodney uneasily then back to Ronon, "I don't. Sorry?"

 

"Now the Canadians," Rodney lifts a finger, "we are a funny people. Not known for our prowess in battle but our humor and our intellect-"

 

"I've never once heard you tell a funny joke." Ronon protests, "How are you funnier than me?"

 

"Ah, no, you got me there. Not always intentional. But people do laugh at me. So… funny-ish." Rodney proposes.

 

Ronon nods in agreement, "People do laugh at you a lot. So, you're saying that counts even if you're just being an idiot?"

 

"Ah- I dunno." Daniel winces, "Cause when people think Rodney McKay, do they say, 'funny guy'? I don't see it."

 

"Well, I'm funnier than you anyway." Rodney sneers.

 

"How do you figure?" Daniel questions, "I mean, I get that you have all your little sarcastic barbs, but they aren't very well thought out, are they? It's more like you ramble out everything that comes to mind without a filter. Once in a while you hit the target but... Me? I'm a bit more selective, more dry and witty."

 

"Just because you say less, doesn't mean it's witty.” Rodney argues back, “For instance, making a face and saying things like 'Wow.' or 'How do you figure.?' isn't dry humor. If anything it's just noncommittal. You don't openly criticize, so no one can call you on it, but you stand back, privately superior."

 

"I do not."

 

"Oh, you so do, my friend" Rodney says, pointing his fork at Daniel.

 

Ronon pounds his fists on the table again and roars with laughter. Startled, Rodney and Daniel look up at him in confusion.

 

"More laughing, less arguing about why none of us are funny." He grumbles. After a moment of silence, he asks, "So what's a comedy troupe?"

 

Rodney answers, "Ah, it's a group of funny people who get together... and do zany things... to make other people laugh."

 

"Okay." Ronon still doesn't see a connection.

 

"It's funny 'cause the Satedans are kind of serious and less prone to being zany." Rodney explains.

 

"We're only serious when we're fighting.” Ronon frowns. “You've seen how we drink."

 

"That's different. You’re... not a silly people.” Rodney tells him. “You... have too much dignity for that."

 

"Dignity." Ronon accepts that answer.

 

"Yeah, here on Earth the was once a mighty people known as the Vikings that ruled over the seas and conquered much, much territory." Rodney tells him.

 

"They sound impressive." Ronon leans back in chair.

 

"They were."

 

Failing to see where Rodney is going with this, Ronon asks, "And what happened to them?".

 

"Well, their Empire fell eventually, but the descendants of these people are still around." Rodney adds, "There are plenty of them in Canada."

 

"Where you are from." Ronon prompts.

 

"Right."

 

"And?" He waits for Rodney to make a point.

 

"Well," Rodney mumbles through a mouthful of food, "they aren't very funny, there might be a connection there."

 

"What do you mean they aren't funny?" Daniel gives Rodney a skeptical look.

 

"Come on. Have you ever heard of a Swedish comedy toupe or, or a Swedish comedy... anything for that matter? Fundamentally they are not a funny people."

 

"And you have based your historical and cultural theories on what exactly?" Daniel demands.

 

"Name anything Scandinavian that's funny. Seriously, try to think of one thing." Rodney challenges.

 

Daniel opens his mouth and then closes it again, reflecting.

 

"See. Nothin'. They built some sound ships back in the day, but mentally, well, I don't think they are known for being the most creative-"

 

"Whoa." Daniel interrupts "When do this become about intellect?"

 

"Well, I didn't exactly say..." Rodney cocks his head, "Oh, oh, oh, I get it. You're Scandinavian."

 

"I am part Swedish, yes." Daniel confirms.

 

"You are descended from these great warriors?" Ronon asks Daniel.

 

"Yes."

 

Rodney twists his mouth, smirking at Daniel, "You don't say."

 

"Impressive." Ronon pats Daniel on the shoulder in appreciation.

 

Looking at Ronon, Daniel points a finger at Rodney "Did you hear that? He's trying to sound like me, now... I don't think he can pull it off, do you?"

 

Ronon pauses then shakes his head.

 

Folding his arms back to his chest defensively, Rodney asks, "Oh, yeah? How do you figure?"

 

"Yeaaah." Daniel gives him a studious expression, "I think you need a bit more dignity to pull off a Daniel-styled quip."

 

"So, now you admit that you do it." Rodney purses his lips.

 

"I didn't admit to anything." Daniel looks to Ronon innocently, "Did you hear me admit to anything?"

 

"I did not." Ronon smiles.

 

"So according to you two, I am neither funny, nor do I have dignity." Rodney glares.

 

"Well, when you put it that way..." Daniel makes a face.

 

Rodney narrows his eyes as Daniel continues talking, "Well, if we're talking"

 

Daniel gestures with his hands about a foot apart, "If we're talking, some sort of scale here, degrees... then I'd put you over on the funny-ish side."

 

"Ha." Rodney declares triumphantly to Ronon, "He admits I'm funnier than him."

 

"No." Daniel frowns, "Where do you get funn-ier? I said funny-ish."

 

"Well, I believe you were the one making claims about your dignity earlier. So logically it follows, if you have more dignity, then on the scale of fun than puts you..." Rodney points his thumb down and makes a deflated sputtering sound with his lips.

 

Ronon shakes his head in exasperation, "Right." He sets his palms down on the table in anticipation of standing up, "Great talk guys."

 

"You're leaving?" Rodney looks up at him with sudden fear in his eyes.

 

"No." Ronon stops, feeling guilty for momentarily forgetting how much Rodney probably needs him to be here right now. “Actually, I have nowhere better to be.”

 

Relief washes over Rodney's face, "Thanks, um, I'm actually really freaked out right now. I mean, if someone's going to report John, he's going to lose everything and it will be my fault."

 

"We don't know anything for certain yet." Daniel interjects, "I mean, maybe with this little performance today, the rest of the guys will write off whatever Michelson told them."

 

"Who the hell is Michaelson?" Rodney complains.

 

"I don't know." Daniel answers.

 

"No idea." Ronon doesn’t know yet, but he is going to make sure he finds out.

 

Rodney takes a big breath and then folds his head into his hands with a sigh, visibly distraught.

 

Ronon reaches across the table to gently shakes Rodney from his stupor, “Hey.”

 

Lifting his head up, Rodney meets Ronon's gaze. "Right. Probably not the best time to act all morose. I just, what if he blames me and he doesn't forgive me? I mean if it hadn't been for me... If I had stayed away... What if this is the end of everything? Oh God."

 

"McKay." Ronon's keeps his voice low and steady, "Stop panicking. You know John would never blame you. He was ready to resign before… because he couldn't stand not being with you. Worse case scenario, we leave Atlantis."

 

"We?" Rodney asks.

 

"I'm not staying if they make John leave over this." Ronon states resolutely.

 

Rodney's mouth lifts up on one corner.

 

"Look," Daniel tells Rodney, "we will lie and make up whatever kind of cover story we need to. And if that doesn't work, all of us will stand up and fight with you. Dave's got clout with the IOA, I mean none of us will take this sitting down, you have allies."

 

"I should have been more careful." Rodney blinks sadly, "How could I have been so careless? If this doesn't blow up our faces, God, I promise I will be so, so careful."

 

"It's fucked up that you should even have to be." Ronon shoves his chair back and kicks at the table in irritation.

 

"Thanks..." Rodney nods with lowered eyes, "You... you guys are... thanks."

 

Ronon reaches across the table and gives Rodney an affectionate arm slap.

 

"You too." Daniel tells him, "And, all things considered, a funny guy."

 

Rodney's head still hangs a bit but he is smiling now.

 

"What do you say we all walk out of here together?" Ronon proposes.

 

"Sounds like a good way to end the scene. Come on, Rodney." Daniel urges.  
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	10. The team rallies to protect them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _John is in a panic, thinking he could lose Rodney when he gets fired.  
> ._

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Standing up with them, Rodney looks up at Ronon in apprehension. Ronon nods in reassurance.

 

As they make their way out together Ronon spots a familiar face. The man gives Ronon a pensive look as they pass by. Ronon remembers his name now. Farrow. The guy John almost hooked up with. He turns around and locks eyes with the Lieutenant. The expression on the man’s face is sympathetic and something else... He blinks at Ronon like he wants to say something.

 

"Hey" Ronon tells Daniel and Rodney, "You two, um, go ahead. I'll meet up with you in a minute."

 

Rodney looks anxiously at Ronon.

 

"Don't worry." He tells him "Where are you two headed?"

 

"We'll be at my place." Daniel tells him.

 

"I'll see you there soon,” Ronon places a hand on Rodney’s shoulder, “Okay?"

 

Rodney mutely nods and leaves with Daniel.

 

Straightening his shoulders, Ronon ambles over to Farrow, "Hey."

 

Farrow's eyes dart furtively to the doors, "I was thinking about going for a walk. It's getting kind of stuffy in here."

 

"Yeah.” Ronon offers casually. “Good idea"

 

Farrow walks towards the door leading to the circuitous paths that snake around the city. Ronon waits a beat then slowly follows outside. They walk in silence together for a time to the outskirts of the city. Ronon has a feeling that this might take longer than he thought. But Daniel will look after Rodney.

 

Finally, farrow speaks, "There's a guy who got transferred here when we got back to Earth, who's… pretty much been making my life a living hell. He-” Farrow glances at Ronon apprehensively, “He seems to have certain ideas about me..."

 

Suddenly looking self-conscious, Farrow stops.

 

Ronon thinks he knows where this is going, "Well, I'm a pretty safe person to talk to. I don't talk much. And I don't get ideas about people."

 

Nodding Farrow continues, "I didn't think I could say anything about it before since I don't want him spreading rumors about me. It’d just make me look worse if I reported him. And not just ‘cause…" Farrow purses his lips in a grimace, “People think less of you if you can’t handle stuff on your own or you rat someone out.”

 

"What's going on?" Ronon’s brows furrow in concern.

 

"Oh, it's not that bad." Farrow looks embarrassed, "I don't want to make a big deal about it, just some bruises and a cracked rib or two. I'll survive. He seems to target guys he thinks might be… you know? It's not just me."

 

"Michaelson." Ronon grunts.

 

"Yeah. He's the kind of guy that likes to push other people around."

 

Ronon chooses his words carefully. "Is he the kind of guy to file reports?"

 

"I don't know" Farrow shrugs into himself.

 

"So..." Ronon thinks, "He likes picking on people?"

 

"Yeah. Some of the enlisted men and Lieutenants like me. Guys he outranks."

 

"What if some of these other guys reported him too? Would it still make you look bad?”

 

Looking anxious, Farrow hesitates.

 

"Just theoretically." Ronon adds.

 

"Theoretically... If they were enough of us... Maybe."

 

"Is that why you're telling me?" Ronon asks."You want me to do something about this?"

 

"I just thought it might be useful information. For some of your friends to, you know, use or whatever." Farrow bites his lip.

 

"Sorry it's been going on so long." Ronon glares, “That's fucked up.”

 

Farrow makes a sounds of disgust, "It’d be really great if he would just dissapear."

 

Ronon’s eyes darken, "As in-"

 

"No, no." Farrow rears his head back, "Not that like that. Just off of Atlantis, you know."

 

"Gnrgh..." the sound growls in Ronon's throat. "You know who some of these other guys are? The ones he's targeting?"

 

"I can give you some names. I don't know, maybe if you talk to them, they can give you some more. The important thing is" Farrow peers up at Ronon, "ah, that it not look like you have a motive –if certain people wanted to protect their reputations."

 

"Right."

 Farrow sighs with relief, digging a piece of paper out of his pocket, "This is everything I know." he hands it to Ronon.

 

"Thanks." Ronon regards him warmly, "Thanks for this."

 

More relaxed now, Farrow smiles, "Well, we've got to stick together, right?"

 

"Better that way." Ronon's eyes sparkle in agreement.

 

"Okay." Farrow exhales, "I'm going to go now. If you need anything else, you know where to find me."

 

After Farrow leaves, Ronon examines the paper. 8 names, that should be a good start.  
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* * *

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Back in his quarters, John leans partly stooped with his hand against the wall staring at the floor. He gulps in quick lungfuls of air, but too fast. It is making him light headed.

 

"Right." Vala's hand keeps patting his back, "Just keep breathing. Sloooow breaths."

 

"Uh... maybe I should sit down." John nods dully. At that, he sinks to the floor. "Oh God."

 

"It's going to be okay." Vala sits down in front of him cross-legged, her eyes fierce with determination.

 

His stomach clenches up in a painful knot of dread and he drags his head wearily from side to side. "I don't think so... but it’s real nice of you to..."

 

A swell of shame washes through John's body and he shudders involuntarily. He presses his head into his hands. And then suddenly he is gripped by a deep sense of remorse that he could let all of this make him feel so ashamed. It is as if he has betrayed Rodney by allowing the flush of self-hatred to rise to his cheeks.

 

"Fuck." John chokes the words out. "I'm fucking... I'm so fucked."

 

He wishes Rodney was with him. Rodney needs him right now, John is sure of it. If John is panicking, Rodney is definitely panicking. His stomach clenches again in tension. No, it's better that Rodney not see him so weak. Just the idea of everyone talking about him... it's like living out an nightmare from the past... making old memories painful again.

 

If Rodney saw him like this he'd hate John for being such a coward. And he could never ask Rodney to leave with him or resign his position here; he's always loved his work so much. Already, Rodney has sacrificed his dream of getting married and having kids... It's just too much knowing he has so little to offer the man he loves and doesn't really deserve.

 

How he has dreaded the day that Rodney is bound to realize this too. John swallows hard at the knot in his throat knowing he may have just lost Rodney forever.

 

"John, we can fix this." Vala sounds confident, "We'll do some damage control-"

 

"Ugh." John winces. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but if the men are talking about this, I've already lost their respect. I can't..."

 

"How could I have been so careless?" John shakes his head bitterly.

 

"I get it. It's an image thing. But I’m a fixer, a master of illusions", Vala smiles with self-assurance, "I've spent a good deal of my life relying on my wit, charm, and natural talent for deception."

 

She lifts a finger, "The worst thing you can do is give up, it makes you look guilty. No matter how true something is, you can make it look like a lie if you try hard enough."

 

"That so?" John smiles weakly.

 

"It absolutely is. Look, at this point you have nothing to lose, right?"

 

John lifts a brow. _Just everything that matters. Just Rodney._

 

Trying to keep his face impassive he answers irreverently, "Maybe what's left of my dignity."

 

"Like I said, nothing to lose." Vala looks around the room. "This place is a lot bigger than mine... Okay, so we move in together."

 

"What?"

 

"Officially." Vala clarifies, "We move in together, that's what couples do, right?"

 

"You... want to move in with me?" John is stunned.

 

"Look, sweetheart, I never said it would be easy. But if you want to keep your image, we've got to pull out all the stops."

 

"Uh... Rodney..."John's mouth is dry and his breath is shallow. He tries to wrap his head around the idea. How could he possibly ask Rodney to lie anymore than he has already been forced to?

 

"We’ll figure the details out later. Right now, you and I play the part of a happy couple in love. I'm good with theatrics. You just need to follow my lead. Trust me?"

 

John remembers how freaked out he’d been when he heard that Vala, someone he barely knew, was aware of he and Rodney's relationship. Now she is willing to stick her tongue down his throat and live with him to cover up his secret.

 

Realizing he has left her question unanswered John nods, "Um, Yeah." He does trust her.

 

"Then leave the details to me." Vala's mouth spreads into one of her wide grins, We'll sort this out... A three-pronged attack...” She drums her fingers in thought. “Yep. That's definitely what we’re going to need for a situation like this."

 

"Three... pronged?"

 

"Yes. Our 'relationship' will be just the first..." Vala trails off.

 

"Of three?" John prompts.

 

"Well, of course, because three is better than two. And, well, one is never enough."

 

"So..." John puzzles "What are the other-"

 

"Prongs? I don't know yet.” She narrows her eyes conspiratorially at him, “But it will be brilliant."  
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* * *

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.

When Daniel arrives at Vala's quarters to hear more about her master plan, everyone else is already there. As it turns out, she still doesn't have much of one yet. Other than propping up her illusion of a fake relationship with John by moving them in together. Rodney has made her aware that he installed a panel door between his and John's quarters. So it should be easy enough for Vala to take over John’s room in order to maintain the charade.

 

For some reason, she is quite insistent about this idea of a three-pronged attack.

 

"Why three?" Daniel asks again.

 

She throws her hands up in in the air, "I don't know Daniel, if you can come up with more, we'll do that too. Right now all we need is three."

 

"What's the first one?" Ronon frowns.

 

"John and I become an item and move in together, keep up Chewie."

 

What's two?" Carson asks.

 

"I have a plan about that but it may be a little tricky." Vala waves her hand dramatically.

 

"How tricky?" John looks worried.

 

"Since there are 8 big suites in your section, I think we should try to force Woolsey's hand to give them to his senior team members. It will look like a team... thing. One big happy family." Vala finishes her proposal with one of her characteristic and expectant grins as she looks around the room.

 

"This helps us how?" Rodney sounds as confused as Daniel is.

 

"Trust me it will help. There's strength in numbers. We band together and have more privacy. And less people will be focusing on the fact that your quarters and John's are right next to each other."

 

Carson pipes up, "If it means getting out of my wee quarters, I'm willing to make the sacrifice."

 

"Hmm, bigger rooms for everyone, I'm up for it." Daniel blinks in amusement, “How exactly is Woolsey going to go for this?”

 

Waving her hand dismissively, Vala disregards the question, “leave that to me.”

 

Ronon and Jennifer exchange a look and she speaks up, "Actually, Ronon and I were planning to..."

 

"Move in together." Ronon finishes.

 

"So, perfect time to make a switch?" Vala volunteers.

 

"Definitely." Jennifer smiles at Ronon.

 

All eyes turn to Teyla, "Of course, anything to help.” She nods as if she is trying to figure something out mentally, “We’ll make it work somehow... I only wish the Ancestors had designed larger quarters. Kanan and I's suite is already larger than these rooms. But with a small child,” she smiles and sighs, “it can be quite challenging.

 

Rodney lifts his finger, "But if we put two of them together it would be bigger than where you are. I could build a panel door linking rooms like I did with mine and John’s."

 

"Really?" Teyla looks impressed, “would that be hard?”

 

"For me?” Rodney gives a boastful tut, "I mean, the first time there was some trail and error involved, but give me a day and I could easily do it again.”

 

“Yes” Jennifer brightens, “Ronon and I don’t need two rooms, but we could request separate quarters and you could use the other one. I’d get to babysit Torren more often and it would be great."

 

"And more Athosian," Teyla smiles warmly, “My people are accustomed to a more communal way of living."

 

"Assuming that Woolsey goes for it." John adds in a doubtful tone.

 

"Of course he will." Vala sounds confident as always, "Now we just need a third prong..."

 

"Still haven’t thought of that one yet?" Daniel can’t stop himself from teasing her.

 

"It’s been 15 minutes since the last time you asked." She rolls her eyes at him. “So-“

 

"I have something." Ronon speaks up, "This guy, Captain Michelson. He's been making life miserable for a lot of people here since we got to Earth. Harassing, beating guys up. I’ve been looking into stuff privately and I’ve got at least 17 who are willing to come forward –if the rest of the group is. We just gotta be careful this doesn't get linked to Sheppard."

 

"Really?" John looks incredulous.

 

Clapping her hands Vala proclaims, "And there we have it, the final...prong, or whatever.

 

"I could be the one to bring this to Woolsey’s attention." Carson offers, "If they were to make medical reports about the attacks, it would be a good way to go about it without involving John.”

 

Daniel gives Vala a sidelong glance impressed that she has actually patched together her three-pronged attack. This might just work if they can put it into motion before the gossip about John and Rodney reaches Woolsey or any ranking military personnel.

 

She certainly has a knack for getting what she wants. Over the years he’s found her indomitable enthusiasm and refusal to take no for an answer equally tiring and hard to resist.

.  
.

* * *

.  
.

A few days later, while John is helping everyone get settled in their new quarters, he gets a call to Woolsey's office to discuss a disciplinary action against one of his officers. Woolsey hands him a pile of reports. Just leafing through them they look pretty grim and any guilt John may have felt about orchestrating Michelson's downfall is assuaged. This guy should be forced to resign...

 

Woolsey speaks up, "I just wanted to make sure that you were in support of expelling this Captain Michelson from Atlantis. I don't think this kind of person has any business being here."

 

John shakes his head as he reads through more paperwork "Atlantis is no place for people who abuse their power and authority."

 

He throws the files on the desk with disgust, "How long has this been going on?"

 

"Since he arrived 6 months ago." Woolsey's mouth twists into a tight expression.

 

"They should have come to me." John wishes they had. Not even Farrow had come to him. The fact that no one did says something about how intensely homophobic the military is.

 

"Well," Woolsey answers as if he thinks he is an authority on the matter, "Sometimes when someone in the military is the perpetrator, it can be hard to confide in the same institution for accountability."

 

"At least it's finally come to light," John makes a winced smile.

 

"There will be military investigation of course," Woolsey tells him, "It's hard to know how these things will work out in the end, but at least I can say that he won't be returning to Atlantis."

 

"Listen John," Woolsey looks uncomfortable, "there is another reason I asked you to come here today."

 

"Oh?" John tries to sound nonchalant.

 

"Well, with this crack down on harassment, it's very important that none of our senior staff be in a position where their power could be used to coerce..."

 

"Ahh." John knows where this is going, "Theoretically, if I were to become involved with a certain female member of my team, it could be seen as-"

 

Woolsey interjects, "if that person is not a member of the military personnel, it is not technically prohibited. But the IOA feels that any relationships of this nature should be fully disclosed.

 

John spies 4 disclose forms on Woolsey's desk, One signed by Ronon, one by Jennifer, and one by Vala. The blank one is for himself he supposes.

 

"That one for me?" John points to the empty form.

 

"Yes." Woolsey looks mildly embarrassed that he has left the relationship disclosure forms on display and shuffles the other three into a drawer. "I suppose it's only natural when you spend time working with someone..."

 

John picks up a pen and briefly scans the disclosure form. He signs it and hands it back to Woolsey. _What's one more lie at this point?_ Vala's plan may have rescued he and Rodney this time, but he has to make sure there is no next time.  
.  
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	11. Oma's instructions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _Having to play such an elaborate charade to keep his relationship secret isn't easy for Rodney, but he tries to keep his mind on the mission and help Daniel with his latest discovery._  
> .

.

.

With a small bite into his lower lip, Rodney tries to keep his mind on getting prepped for the mission but inside he is storming. It’s not like its real, it’s just watching John and Vala together sometimes gets under his skin. She has this way about her, like she is trying to keep a secret of her familiarity with John, while managing to make it obvious to everyone around her what she is trying to conceal. Her hands always seem to find an excuse to linger on him.

 

Even walking into the briefing room earlier, she had been sitting on John’s lap. As Rodney, Woolsey, and the others walked in, she had looked guilty, like she had been caught doing something naughty, quickly jumping up and finding her own seat.

 

As he secures his tactical gear Rodney frowns and fumbles with a latch. Sure, he should be grateful at how much effort she’s put into camping up her role. Everyone on Atlantis certainly believes that she and John are shacking up, an item, whatever you want to call it. Just, it looks so real that Rodney can't help but feel jealous.

 

Glancing over at John, Rodney feels a sad ache in his chest. It’ll feel better once they gate off-world, stepping back into their familiar team roles without worrying about people on Atlantis whispering about them. This time it will just be the 5 of them with no geologists to look after.  
Missions have gotten to be pretty routine these days. No Wraith to deal with. Just that one time they took out a minor Goa'uld hiding on a peripheral moon. Their last mission had gotten a little hostile when the locals brandished bows and arrows. But Daniel had talked them down and Rodney’s ass was saved from any injury.

 

Rodney sighs, it’s not even the little things that bother him so much. It’s the time he doesn’t get to spend with John. The time they used to have together. At night, they still share Rodney's quarters, so they have those private hours to themselves. But days are different now, they are often apart. Even when they were just friends it was never like this. Watching John so close all day, yet hardly saying a word…

 

Seeing him with Vala, holding hands and walking together on off hours, it hurts Rodney's soul, cuts deep with something cold. Cold and bitter that he doesn’t have the freedom to be with John that way.

 

Realizing that Daniel has been talking to him, Rodney looks up in distraction, “Huh?”

 

“That’s what gave me the idea that the temple of the 4 great races may have other chambers or technology we’ve overlooked. After I finished cataloguing the library last month, I’m fairly certain there’s more to it. What I’ve been able to translate indicates that it wasn't simply a repository, but once the seat of great power.”

 

John looks their way, “Power is good. Maybe another ZPM that isn’t nearly dead.”

 

“So?” Daniel looks to Rodney expectantly, “You coming with me to Janus’s lab?”

 

“Right.” Rodney secures his gun.

 

“See you guys in the Gateroom.” John nods in their direction.

 

With no idea why he is joining Daniel on this detour, Rodney follows behind. As he hits the harmonic resonance triggers that open the normally solid wall he finds Daniel already rifling through some of the storage bins.

 

"What are you looking for?" Rodney leans over to catch a peek.

 

"Egg-like thing," Daniel lifts his hands to make a small oval shape, "about so big... blue. You seen it?"

 

"Um, yeah... I think..." Rodney opens a container of cataloged items on the far side of the room, "I think I saw that..."

 

"Yep.” Rodney holds it up anticlimactically. “Here it is."

 

"Careful! Just, careful with that one. I'll take it from here." Daniel holds out a piece of cloth and cautiously folds it around the blue object.

 

"What, you think it’s dangerous?" Rodney rubs his palms together, "It wasn’t giving off any energy readings."

 

"On it's own, no. I just don't want to risk breaking it. If I'm right about what it does, it would be dangerous to plug in a faulty device."

 

"As in... plug into the temple somewhere?"

 

"That's the plan." Daniel grins.

 

Rodney rolls his eyes ."And you are basing this idea on what exactly?"

 

"Oh. I don't know," Daniel answers brusquely, "thousands of years of archeological history... it reminds me of a device I've seen in some of the ruins of Hathor's temple. Look, we know that the Goa'uld were scavengers of Ancient technology. I have a feeling that this egg is something that the Goa'uld may have come across before but just didn't know how to use it."

 

"Yet somehow you do?"

 

"I don't know." Daniel shakes a finger, "Maybe. If the temple drawing on Earth represents this object. I think, I think we might be able to activate it and find out what it is."

 

"I see. So you once saw a circle in a tomb, therefore the blue egg must fit somewhere?" Rodney asks sarcastically.

 

"Guess we'll see." Daniel makes a face as the two of them walk to the gate room.

 

Vala, Ronon, and John are all ready to go by the time they arrive.

 

"Come on boys! Snap to it, we don't have all day." Vala chides.

 

"Daniel didn't want to leave without his..." Rodney lifts his brows. "egg"

 

"An egg. Really, Daniel?" Vala’s tone is lightly mocking.

 

Ignorings her taunts, as he often does, Daniel asks, "So we sure the traps are powered down this time?"

 

"ZPM's still in there," John nods, "but the systems are powered down. If there was anything else we should have found it already."

 

"Ah!" Rodney lifts his finger humorously, "But this time we have an egg."

 

Ronon furrows his brow, "How is an egg going to make a difference?"

 

Shrugging, Rodney answers with a serious face, "Daniel likes protein rich snacks to help him concentrate. Me? I just eat my powerbar and get on with the task at hand -"

 

“You ready to go yet, Rodney?” Daniel cuts him off, "Or you wanna keep telling us that exciting story about your powerbar?"

 

"I'm ready whenever you are." Rodney smirks as he catches Ronon's puzzled expression.

 

"Let's head out." John tells the group.

 

They make it to the temple site without incident. John still has them cautiously move around the ridge. "Rodney?"

 

Translation, See anything I should be worried about?'

 

Rodney checks his sensors again and assures John, "Nothing here. We should be able to walk right up to the rings."

 

John nods his head forward and the rest of the team follows, walking the once treacherous path with ease. After taking the rings down to the lower chamber, Rodney helps Daniel with his calculations of the interior space. Surprisingly, he finds that Daniel is correct, there is more to the interior than they were previously able to access.

 

"Yeah, There should be another room here, maybe another level." Rodney admits.

 

"Like I said, there's a missing floor in between." Daniel says in exasperation.

 

"So how do we get in?" Vala asks.

 

"I think...”, Daniel pulls the blue egg-shaped object out of his pack, no longer opaque, it seems to have a pale glow. “this might help."

 

Holding it up, the object casts a soft light across the stone walls. When nothing happens, so Daniel begins walking closer holding up the blue object to see if it illuminates anything unusual.

 

"The vacant space is behind this wall.” Rodney calls from across the room. “this is where we should be looking."

 

"Yeah, just hold on." Daniel takes his time, bending down to the seam where the walls meet the floor. "I got something here."

 

The others scurry to see what has captured Daniel's interest.

 

One of the glyphs is glowing more brightly than the others. "It's the Asgard symbol for peace." Daniel informs them.

 

"My guess is there are 4 symbols that need to be activated, one on each wall..." He leaps to his feet and begins inspecting the wall with Ancient symbols. Halfway through he exclaims, "Got it! The Ancient word for peace, it's glowing too. Now, if I only spoke Nox or Furling..."

 

The four of them watch as Daniel painstakingly seeks out the other glyphs on the walls. He theorizes that they may need to be activated in a certain order, perhaps by the date each race joined the alliance.

 

"No." John rubs his chin and he narrows his eye humorously at Rodney "That doesn't sound very Ancienty"

 

Rodney smiles but says nothing to correct his grammar.

 

"Aren't they all about equality and balance and stuff?" John continues.

 

"Of course!" Rodney understands where John is going with this, "They would have activated it when all members were present. We have to activate them simultaneously."

 

"That would make sense.” Daniel nods, “Yes, yes. Everyone take a wall, if you don't remember where the glyph is I'll come and-"

 

The rumbling sound of the Naquada reinforced masonry fills the chamber as the far wall lifts to reveal a small antechamber with curving stairs. Daniel starts up the stairs in excitement.

 

"Jackson." John calls after him, "Wait for the rest of the team."

 

"Then get up here!" Daniel calls down, "You have got to see this. It- it's very similar to the reliefs from Hathor's temple. There's an alter or a cradle-shaped mechanism just like the one in the reliefs I studied."

 

As the rest of the team climbs into the chamber, they examine Daniel's find.

 

"Rodney." John's tone instructs him.

 

Translation, 'Check out this contraption before Daniel does something stupid and activates it.'

 

It seems to be Ancient in design, but it predates a lot of the other Ancient tech Rodney's seen. He examines a control panel. Whatever this is, its energy signature is negligible for now. He’d be surprised if it still works.

 

"Seems to be safe." He nods to John.

 

Ronon kicks at some equipment against the wall, "This looks kinda familiar"

 

"Hey, hey!" Careful with that stuff." Rodney races over to save the antiquated equipment from Ronon's attack.

 

"Oh." He recognizes the machine. Over his shoulder he tells John, "It's one of those Ascension contraptions."

 

"Just what we needed." John grimaces.

 

Vala starts to step up onto the platform and Rodney pulls her away clumsily, "No-no-no-no. Unless you want to die, stay off of this one."

 

"Okay Romeo,” Vala blinks at him, “you can let me go now."

 

Rodney makes a face that betrays a little of the bitterness he has begun to feel towards her and turns to watch Daniel as he attempts to set the egg into the cradle. It stays upright with a clicking noise and a low pleasant hum rings through the room. The glyphs along the wall begin to light up in sequences, as if they are running through some kind of code.

 

“Rodney?” John asks in a leery tone.

 

Translation: Figure out what’s going on here before something goes wrong.”

 

“The power fluctuations are still minimal.” Rodney puzzles over his readings.

 

"What does it mean?" Ronon asks Daniel.

 

"I- I, it's moving to fast, I don't read some of the languages... The great alliance... It's a history of the 4 galaxies.... And the birth of the new.... Power that is meant to link all… save all life."

 

"Power?" John's ears seem to prick, "What kind of power?"

 

"Hold on..." Daniel tells them, "It's too fast. The fate of the Furlings, to defeat the Sekkari threat... they, they, tried to achieve immortality without spiritual understanding... without inner peace one cannot... Okay I can't read this, it's in Furling now."

 

Examining the cradle-like disk that holds the blue egg in place, Daniel murmurs, "The seat of great power."

 

"What is?" Rodney asks.

 

"That's what it says here 'The Seat of Great Power'” Daniel explains.

 

"Does it bother to say what kind of power?" John asks.

 

"No. it..." Daniel blinks up at them, his eyes wander back to the walls where blue languages flit across the stones lighting up the glyphs in changing patterns "No... but, the seed. That's what this is. The seed can be used to create or destroy life..."

 

"There's something else..." Daniel squints, "Beware... I don't know this word... more warnings... walk the path of peace and find enlightenment."

 

Then Daniel stumbles back away from the wall…

 

Rodney stares up at the section of wall that holds Daniel's attention. In Ancient it spells out phonetic symbols that sound out the name 'D-A-N-I-E-L'. The lights stays steady, not moving across the walls anymore.

 

"What?" he mutters in debelief.

 

"Hello?” Daniel asks. “Is there an intelligence here?"

 

The light shifts. 'I-A-M-H-E-R-E.'

 

"What's it say now?" Vala leans into Daniel.

 

"We aren't alone here." Daniel states with some trepidation.

 

“Rodney?”

 

Translation explain what the hell is going on here.

 

Rodney gapes at the glyphs on the wall that now spell out the name 'J-O-H-N'; He glances at the man he loves, keeping his response distant and professional. "Ah, Sheppard? It's saying your name."

 

John nudges his rifle in Daniel's direction, "Ask it about the power source."

 

'Y-O-U-H-A-V-E-A-L-R-E-AD-Y-F-O-U-N-D-S-O-U-R-C-E-O-F-P-O-W-E-R'

 

"Right, right." Rodney is impatient, "Now that we have it, what are we supposed to do with it?"

 

'W-A-I-T'

 

"Wait? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Daniel asks.

 

'F-O-R-R-I-G-H-T-T-I-M-E-T-O-U-S-E-I-T'

 

"We don't even know-"

 

Daniel cuts Rodney off. "Rodney." He points to the egg. It has changed color, from blue to red.

 

"We're not talking to a machine are we?" Daniel looks around the room, "Why don't you just show yourself? Tell us what you want us to do?"

 

A small point of light appears in the middle of the room and expands outward into glowy tendrils. Within the white shape, a face of a woman takes form.

 

"Oma." Daniel states.

 

"Yes, Daniel, it is me." The entity answers, "I wanted you to bring the seed without my direct interference."

 

"I always appreciate the cryptic nature of your information." Daniel says with a smile of frustration.

 

"The seed has been activated." Oma continues, "It has the power to defeat an enemy that is emerging. It's can only be entrusted to you, Daniel."

 

John speaks up, "The military keeps -"

 

"It will need to be delivered from the upper atmosphere, only then can it plant firm as a seed in the planet."

 

Oma turns to the Ascension machine and swirls her tendrils around it, "This must also be kept safe by one named Teyla."

 

“That thing?” Rodney complains. “It doesn't even work properly, just another dead-end Ancient experiment gone bad."

 

"It works properly, when used at the right time." She turns to face Daniel, "Do you trust me, Daniel?"

 

"I-I think so?"

 

"Then let me take this for safe keeping." She says.

 

"Would we even be able to stop you?" Ronon asks.

 

Folding herself around the machine, her shimmery form envelopes it, disappearing with the machine.

 

"Whoa.” Ronon stares at the wall where she dematerialized. “That was weird."

 

"Yeaaah." Daniel drawls, "Ancients are always weird."  
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	12. Rodney's jealousy gets the better of him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _Rodney fucks things up; he didn't mean to hurt John and tries to prove it with some make-up sex.  
> ._

.  
.

"Hmm?" Daniel looks up from his console, annoyed that Rodney won’t take the hint and change the subject.

 

"All I said was," Rodney repeats himself, "You guys used to hang out a lot together."

 

"Yeahhh.” Daniel gives him a pithy look, “Well, we’ve been working together for a while now.

 

"It's weird isn't it," Rodney muses, “Even if you thought you'd have nothing in common at first, you end up spending most of your off hours with the people you work with.”

 

"Yep. Pretty weird." Though he feigns disinterest, when Daniel hears his own voice, it sounds strained.

 

"Anything you want to talk about?" Rodney offers.

 

"Nope."

 

Rodney sighs and looks down glumly, "I don't like it either. She's always touching him, just always..."

 

Taking note of Rodney's pained expression Daniel turns in his chair and finally gives him his attention, "Sorry. Must be hard to... to watch them together."

 

"Just, I wish it was… me." Rodney admits sadly. "I hate all this hiding and lying. Waiting in the shadows. And I can't say anything to John, it would just make it harder for him. Not that it’s his fault -but I'm pretty miserable."

 

"Yeah.” Daniel agrees. “I know the feeling."

 

"You do?"

 

"Well, not exactly. But I mean, with Vala, I just got so used to her being around; calling me 'her Daniel', flirting in her meaningless way. Now that she's with John all the time it’s kind of like I lost my best bud."

 

Sharply looking up at Rodney, Daniel adds, “Don't ever tell her I said that. I’d never hear the end of it.”

 

"Course not." Rodney pauses for a moment. "You ever think sometimes there’s more to it?”

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Daniel blinks at Rodney dryly.

 

"Um," Rodney shrugs, "just sometimes people use humor to hide behind... I mean, if you had deeper feelings for her-"

 

"What?!" Daniel sputters, "No. Not in a million years would I... she's the last person -I mean, there isn't a sincere bone in her body. Admittedly, a very hot body...” he shakes his head in exasperation, “Just. No.”

 

"Fine. I just thought you seemed-“

 

"What?" Daniel interrupts.

 

"Bothered.” Rodney tilts his head in a condescending way, “That's all. Just bothered by seeing her with someone else."

 

"I'm not bothered, I'm just..." Daniel makes a disgruntled noise, "I just miss her a little."

 

"Okay." Rodney doesn't sound convinced.

 

"What do you mean, 'okay'."

 

"Nothing. Just what I said. Only..."

 

"Only..." Daniel prompts.

 

"So, I hate this whole charade thing,” Rodney’s mouth twists down on one side, “but I wouldn’t go so far as to say she can’t be sincere. What she's doing for John, I don't think it's because there's a payoff for her. I think she cares what happens to us."

 

"Well, that's different.” Daniel has to admit to himself that she has changed, proven herself over time, "I’d just never trust her with anything as important as my heart."

 

"So you've thought about it?"

 

“Ummm”, Daniel backpedals, "just that I would never do it."

 

"But you have thought about it." Rodney smiles with a glint in his eye.

 

"Of course I have.” Daniel returns to his work absently, “You’ve seen the way she flirts with me. But to her it’s just a game.”

 

"Sure," Rodney smirks, "better just to pine away."

 

"There is no pining going on here." Daniel points to his face, "Does this look like someone pining?"

 

Rodney lifts his shoulders, "Maybe just a little bit."

 

Daniel rolls his eyes, "Not pining."

 

"Okay. Whatever you say."

 

"The only reason she acts that way is because she likes trying to get a rise out of me. She knows it’s wrong in every way and that’s why she finds it so amusing. It's like,” Daniel mimics Vala’s sultry accent, “'Oh, Daniel, he's so serious. I'm going to joke around about us having sex just to try to make him uncomfortable'.”

 

Shaking his head in disgust he adds, “Since my wife died, there hasn’t been anyone that I’ve come close to having feelings for, but if I was ever to… she'd be last on my list."

 

Rodney gives him a wide eyed-eyed and overly dramatic look, "Guess you've given it a lot of thought."

 

"Well, when someone is constantly coming on to you, it's kinda hard not to." Daniel justifies himself in a harsh tone.

 

"Still, you obviously care about her.” Rodney drops his joking manner, “as a friend, at least."

 

Daniel sighs and answers ambivalently, "Yeah, sure I do. I've gotten used to having her around.” Then he finds himself admitting more, “It feels... strange, empty now without her... constant chatter."

 

"This sucks." Rodney makes a dissatisfied grunt and sinks his chin into his hands.

 

"Well, you still have me, Rodney." Daniel teases.

 

Rodney bursts out laughing. "Sometimes I just have absurd thoughts, and they make me think" Rodney chuckles into his hand, "What if you and I suddenly started parading around the station like a couple."

 

"Oh." Rodney dissolves into a fit of laughter, "How hard would that fuck with them?"

 

Daniel looks at Rodney with distaste, "For the last time, Rodney. I'm not kissing you."

 

"You should be so lucky. No, actually... what if you kissed someone else? Just to see Vala's reaction. Maybe she wouldn't like the shoe being on the other foot."

 

"I'm too old to play games." Daniel groans.

 

"Humor me. Other than Vala and myself, who on this station would you most like to kiss?"

 

"Oh. I don't know." Daniel exhales sarcastically, "I mean, obviously you picked my top two..."

 

"Obviously."

 

"Dr. Merricot, maybe?"

 

Rodney frowns, "You mean the one with the long, dark hair... kinda looks like Vala?"

 

"No, she doesn't." Daniel shakes his head, thinking about it, "Not really."

 

"I'm hatching a plan." Rodney announces.

 

"Don't bother." Daniel returns his attention to the console.

 

"This is for my benefit too... What if you ask to go on a double date... Set me up with one of her friends. Doesn't matter who. Then we show up to game night and put on a performance of our own."

 

Daniel screws up his face. "And why would we do that?"

 

"I'm sick of them having all the fun." Rodney answers petulantly.

 

"Okay, that's sounds… Well, petty?"

 

"Well," Rodney twists his mouth, "I'm a petty person. Never said I wasn't."

 

Remembering an argument they had just yesterday, Daniel reminds him, "Actually, you said-"

 

"Don't argue with me, Daniel. I'm feeling jealous and short tempered and you don't want to test me."

 

"Fair enough." Daniel concedes, not wanting to hear another one of Rodney’s ridiculous tirades.

 

"Come on, let's do this." Rodney argues, "Worst case scenario you have a bad date for a night."

 

"Have you considered that she might say no?" Daniel actually finds himself wondering why he’s never bothered to ask the pretty doctor out before.

 

"It's not like I'll be asking. Woman like you." Rodney assures him, "Don't push the double date, the idea of one of her friends having to go out with me might turn her off to the whole idea. But I think your chances are good."

 

"I don't know.” Daniel doesn’t like the sound of Rodney's scheme, “It all sounds really-"

 

"Look, it's not like you and Vala are together. You wouldn't be doing anything wrong."

 

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As they walk towards the empty lab that has been converted into a game room, Rodney feels a twinge of guilt at bringing Sara as his date for the night. Not enough to stop him from going through with it though. He just wants John to feel what it's like. Just for a moment he wants John to burn with jealousy the way he does.

 

This game room has become a private hangout for the group of them, a place they can unwind and all just be themselves, no subterfuge is needed. A place where normally he, not Vala, would sit next to John.

 

Daniel leads the way in with Dr. Merricot, "Everyone, this is Lucy."

 

Rodney waves cheerfully stepping up behind him. "And this is Sara."

 

Lucy smiles as Daniel makes introductions, "Over there on the couch, with the baby, that's Teyla. Around the table we've got Carson, John, Ronon, Jennifer, and Vala"

 

"Lovely to meet you all" Lucy glows.

 

Sara's shoulder length brown hair bobs in excitement around her pretty cherubic face, "Once I found out it was a game night, I couldn't say no to the date."

 

She smiles flirtatiously at Rodney and he holds her eyes long enough to give the impression he is being flirtatious.

 

"Um, yeah." John clears his throat, "We'll just pull up a few more chairs." He pats the empty seat next to him, "Maybe, Ronon, if you guys slide over this way..."

 

Ronon shuffles over to the seat next to John, his eyes fiercely narrowed at Rodney. Jennifer and Vala move as well.

 

To avoid Ronon's glare, Rodney joins Daniel in retrieving some extra chairs. As he makes room at the table, Rodney looks up to gage Vala's reaction. She is smiling, but her teeth seem slightly clenched together and her face betrays some tension. He isn't sure if he dares to look at John.

 

Poor Sara, she has no idea what she has gotten herself into. She sits next to Rodney, bubbly and eager, asking him questions about himself. To play the game he started, Rodney keeps his eyes fixated on her, asking her questions about herself and hanging on her every word as if it is the most interesting thing he's ever heard.

 

The longer it goes on, the more afraid he feels to see John's reaction. He feels wicked, but good, in a twisted kind of way; like he is getting away with something devious, getting one over on John. He's always liked beating John when it comes to games.

 

Teyla announces that they are planning to play charades tonight and asks who wants to be on her team. Sara and Lucy seem to gravitate toward the baby on the couch, so Rodney and Daniel join them. There isn't enough room for all of them, so Rodney pulls a chair to the end of the couch near Sara.

 

As the game progresses, in its usual fashion, Rodney can't help but notice that Sara and Lucy don't laugh much at the coarse humor the rest of them enjoy. They hover on either side of Teyla, cooing over Torren and how cute he is.

 

A lot of the phrases tonight seem like they have a gay theme. Rodney wonders if that is intentional, as he mimes out the term 'glory hole'. Sara's eyes are wide in shock as he grasps in imaginary hard-on and shoves it in a hole. Then he holds up a finger and gets on the opposite side on the 'wall' and emulates sucking on his knees.

 

"Oh, my." Sara exclaims.

 

Daniel gets it right away, "Glory hole!"

 

Rodney nods, as he stands up, he sees John laughing with a glint in his eye. That was probably his doing.

 

Unsurprisingly, Rodney's team loses the round. Sara and Lucy opt out of playing a second, content instead to talk to Teyla.

 

"Fine," Vala glares over at the couch with obvious irritation. "We'll do smaller teams."

 

"You know, what?" Daniel tells her, "Just go ahead without us, I think we're more in the mood to talk."

 

Lucy smiles at Daniel happily and Vala’s smile widens with her teeth still clenched, "Fine. poker, anyone?"

 

The winning team gathers around the table, while Rodney and Daniel join in the girl talk.

 

As the night progresses, Sara gushes loudly about how much she loves children and can't wait to have them. "I mean, I really like the work I'm doing here, but I don't see myself staying for too much longer. What I really want is to get married and settle down."

 

"I know what you mean." Rodney gazes at her warmly, "Me too."

 

The sound of choking behind him causes Rodney to turn his head. John is coughing on his beer.

 

"Uh, swallowed wrong" he mumbles."Just..." John holds up a finger telling the table, "Give me a minute." He stands up and walks to the door. Vala follows behind him.

 

"Yeah" Ronon stands as well. "Good time for a piss break." He walks around the table the long way and stumbles on Rodney's leg, kicking it painfully.

 

"Ow! That hurt." Rodney exclaims.

 

"Oh? Whoops." Ronon mumbles unapologetically.

 

Carson and Jennifer remain at the table looking at Rodney tensely. He turns his back to them and gives his attention to Sara instead. She is holding the baby now and bouncing him on her knee.

 

"You know I'm surprised to hear you say that, Rodney." Sara looks at him quizzically, "I mean you always seem so focused on your career."

 

"I am. But that doesn't mean I don't want the same things everyone else does. To settle down with the right person and build a life, have a family." Rodney tries to play the part of the interested date without lying too much. Those are things he wants after all, just not with her.

 

And then Rodney hears John cough again. Looking up he sees John still in the room, standing in the doorway with Vala and Ronon.

 

"You know what?" John smiles tightly, "You guys go ahead without me, I'm pretty beat, gonna call it a night."

 

"I'll head out with you." Ronon nods.

 

"No, no. Honestly, I'm just going to sleep, don't let me ruin the party." John smiles with a cool mask of detachment.

 

"All right. Honey " Vala gives him a pensive look, “See you back at our place."

 

Vala turns back to Jennifer and Carson, "And then there were four. Goody, now we can play spades! No cheating though. She eyes Ronon suspiciously, "Couples must be split up, you're with me big guy."

 

Rodney loses track of the table game and keeps his focus on his date for the night. Daniel seems to be honestly connecting with Lucy. After Teyla leaves, the two of them get lost in an intense one on one conversation.

 

He stays up much later than he would like to, trying to entertain Sara, not wanting to put an end to Daniel's evening since he has a feeling the ladies will be leaving at the same time. But by the end Rodney is stifling back yawns. Everyone else is long gone. Realizing it’s nearly 3 in the morning he finds himself longing for his comfortable bed.

 

Finally, Daniel and Lucy get up to go and Rodney walks Sara back to her quarters, telling her he had a lovely time and they will have to do it again soon.

 

"I would like that." She smiles at him hopefully.

 

Rodney's stomach burns with guilt, he isn't sure what he thought he was going to accomplish with tonight’s antics, but it feels emptier than he thought it would. Maybe he will at least have a little satisfaction when he sees the look on John's face.

 

But when he gets to his room, the lights are dim and the space seems oddly quiet. He can see John's figure on the bed, turned on his side, facing away from the door.

 

Opening his mouth, ready to make a dig, the words don't come. Rodney doesn't feel triumphant at all, just foolish. He stares at John's still figure for a long time. Obviously he is awake, but he must be pissed. Rodney opens his mouth again to apologize but nothing comes out. Instead he moves cautiously in the hushed room, trying to get ready for bed without making too much noise.

 

He blinks at John's immobile form for a beat before sliding under the covers on his side. The bed is so big, so much space between them. Rodney gently moves forward until he is a few inches from John. He gingerly places his hand on John's shoulder.

 

Immediately, John flinches it away. Okay, he's really pissed. Shit. Rodney feels afraid to say anything but he should apologize.

 

"Sorry." He whispers.

 

The room remains silent, John does not stir. God, how can he make everything feel so heavy and intense without even moving?

 

The sound of John's hoarse voice suddenly fills the air; he doesn't sound angry at all, just deeply sorrowful, "I'm losing you." John states it without a question.

 

Rodney lifts his hand to touch John's shoulder, again he wrenches it away.

 

"No, no. You're not, I swear."

 

"Did you... did you do anything with her?" John asks in a low voice.

 

"No!" Rodney is shocked John would even consider it, "I just walked her back to her quarters. Daniel and Lucy were up talking late, so-so-so we stayed... God, no!"

 

He can't help himself from reaching for John again. This time John lets him snake a hand over his shoulder and onto his chest. Rodney sighs with relief.

 

"I'm still losing you." John states wearily.

 

"But-but-but I said you're not. I'm sorry I did that. It was mean. I don't know, I guess I thought if you felt a little jealous too then I wouldn't feel so bad about having to watch you and Vala all the time... It was so stupid. It didn't mean anything."

 

John's body stays rigid and Rodney leans up to see his face. The expression is grim and closed, staring impassively at nothing. Rodney inhales sharply; it’s been so long since he’s seen a look like that on John's face. Shut down and in pain...

 

Oh, God. He hadn't meant to hurt him. Rodney had promised himself he would never do anything to take John's vulnerability for granted and now he has.

 

"Em." He traces his finger around John's eyes.

 

"It's just a matter of time." John whispers roughly.

 

What does John mean? Is he breaking things off? Rodney feels flutters of panic in his stomach "Why? No-no-no. Why would you say that!?"

 

"You...” John sighs heavily, “want to get married and settle down... you 'want what everybody wants', right? How can I ever give you that?"

 

Oh God. Why had he said that? Rodney closes his eyes in dread. That was the worst thing he could have ever said... to imply that he wanted something other than what John could give him. It has taken so long to convince John otherwise and now he has thrown all that trust away.

 

"Please, Em. I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about what I was saying, I was trying to play a part... I didn't mean it."

 

"Thing is, Rodney." John's voice chokes, "You meant it. Even if you don't realize you did."

 

"I told you I would resign," John's voice is tight and constricted, "you should have told me this was hurting you –no. I know, why you wouldn't...",

 

"Shit." John’s voice shakes, "Even if I resign, I can't ask you to leave everything behind... I'm going to lose you no matter what I do."

 

John inhales sharply and holds his breath, Rodney can feel his body trembling slightly.

 

Leaning over to see John's face, Rodney sees a small pool of wetness collecting on the corner of John's eye. He kisses the spot, hating himself as he tastes the slight saltiness on his lips. John exhales in a big staggered sigh, his body still rigid and trembling.

 

"Oh. John." Rodney winces and kisses the wetness away, "I'm so sorry. I love you." Rodney frantically kisses around Johns eyes, along his cheekbone and brow, begging the walls to come back down. "I love you. I love you. I promise you're not losing me. God -I'm so sorry. Please forgive me for being so cruel, I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you, please."

 

John's body finally goes limp, he chokes out a sob and turns to face Rodney grabbing him in his arms, "Mere..." he whispers, "Make me forget that I'm going to lose you. Make me believe it's not going to happen."

 

Pulling John into an equally fierce embrace, Rodney kisses him tenderly, above his lips where they pucker so perfectly, then below them in the hollow beneath his full lower lip. "I will, I'll show you, I'll do anything to make it right."

 

He swirls the tip of his tongue at the seam of John's lips, begging entrance, John yields and lets Rodney take his mouth fully and deeply. He clasps the sides of John's face, desperate with love and passion, yearning to heal this wound between them, "Anything, Em"

 

"Take me." John's eyes get wide and vulnerable, "Make me believe that you'll never leave. Make me yours again, make all this... go away."

 

Rodney wasn't expecting this late night request but his body is charged with adrenaline, fear, and arousal now. He is completely hard at John's suggestion. He strokes John's lower lip with his thumb, opening it wider. "Is this what you want, Em?"

 

John takes the tip of Rodney's thumb in his teeth and sucks it before answering, "I need to feel you inside me."

 

"Oh fuck." Rodney's voice is gravelly and full of lust. He leans around John's frame and snakes his hands down to John's groin with growing desire. John is rock hard and waiting for Rodney to take him. Shirtless already, Rodney helps John strip out of his boxers. He pulls his own clothes away until it is just the two of the naked, bare with nothing between them anymore.

 

"I love you Em," Rodney murmurs, "I will always belong to you and you will always belong to me."

 

"You promise?" John's eyes are open and vulnerable again.

 

"I promise," Rodney rolls John onto his back, "I'll make sure you never forgot, you'll never doubt it again."

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	13. Make-up sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _As Rodney makes love to him, John can't block out the tinge of fear curling at the edge of his mind. If Rodney lets go, drops that part of his soul that he pulls from John's body… It will shatter into a million pieces and destroy him.  
> ._

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A desperate and wild emotion roils through Rodney’s body as his instincts take over. His hand clenches into the back of John’s hair hard enough to take what belongs to him as his tongue presses into John’s mouth.

 

But as Rodney takes his kiss, it is gentle and tender beyond belief, an apology for everything that has happened tonight, a recounting of his abiding love, his desire to hold John's heart safely.

 

John moans into him and runs his hands up Rodney’s back. Twining his fingers through John’s hair, Rodney runs the tips across Johns face, around his eyes. _I’m so sorry, John. Please don’t go away again. Please don’t leave me._

 

Images of castle walls and the guarded chambers of John’s heart flit through Rodney’s mind. _Oh, God._ He leans back, needing to see into John’s eyes, to know if he is still accessible.

 

Long lashes blink open and the green pools of John’s eyes glint in the darkness. As if in protest to the absence of Rodney’s lips, John props himself up on an elbow and reaches for him.

 

Flattening him back down with his palm, Rodney leans over John holding his eyes in his, "I want to show you how I feel."

 

There is a sadness behind them and a desperation to the expression that mirrors his own… but Rodney can see that John loves him. He still loves him back.

 

Rodney melts back down to John’s lips, lost in them. He holds John’s face in his hands and worships it, trailing kisses behind his ear and down his neck.

 

When he reaches the shoulder, Rodney bites down hard into the sinewy muscle, "Just so you don't forget..."

 

John cries out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

 

"I love you... and you belong to me." Rodney stares again into John's eyes, "Now tell me that you want this." He demands.

 

"I want this." John whispers in excitement.

 

"Yeah, I bet you do." Rodney smiles with possessive confidence. John is his, he won’t let him go, he won’t; he has to have all of him, everything.

 

He kisses the fresh mark on John’s shoulder, running his hands across his body with a wanton need to possess him. His mouth craves the feel of John’s long lean chest and he takes it all in. As he reaches the sensitive hollows where John's hips jut out, the anticipation grows; he hasn't felt this powerful, this lustful since he was under the influence of the Wraith enzyme.

 

His hand curls around John's giant shaft, squeezing it in pure adulation. He is overcome with the desire to taste it. For a moment he remembers that he has been afraid to since the assault. But that fear is gone now, there is nothing in his mind but a need for John's gorgeous cock.

 

Licking hungrily at the leaking pre-cum on the tip, Rodney lets his lips open and swell around the thick head

 

"Rodney?" John starts to sit up in shock, his eyes radiating with concern.

 

In answer, Rodney looks up and presses his hand lightly on John’s chest, urging him to lie back down, "I want to make you feel more, to make you know what I’m feeling…”

 

He grabs a bottle of lube from the nightstand as he presses John back to the mattress, “Just tell me when you are getting close,” He instructs in a dominant tone, “I don't want you to cum yet."

 

Then he takes Johns waiting erection back in his hand and slicks his tongue lavishly over the head. As he closes his wet mouth again around the smooth cock, he trails down the sides, flicks the sensitive skin just under the head. John trembles and arches his hips up in anticipation.

 

Taking ahold of John's hips, Rodney lowers his head, swallowing as much of the shaft as he can down his throat. His fingers grip John's arching hips up and back again, rocking and bobbing as he clenches his throat around the object of his lust.

 

Hearing John's cries of pleasure, drives his passion. He lets the fat cock sink deeper into his throat, relishing the feeling of it around his lips, sliding up and down. He knows he is good at this, but tonight he is going to use all his secret tricks. He will worship John's perfect cock and make him forget his own name.

 

"Oh, God. Rodney... Oh, God. So... Oh, fuck." John's hands clench into the sheet. "How do you do tha- Oh. Oh... Fuck, Oh God."

 

Rodney loves making John lose control, watching him come apart under his touch. John inhales with a hissing noise and his body writhes under him making Rodney's cock swell almost painfully as John pants and continues with his incoherent outbursts.

 

Readying the lube on his fingers, he whispers them across John’s puckered hole. John moans and Rodney feels him release the tight circle of muscles. Swirling his tongue and working his head up and down John's cock, he pushes inside, bending his fingers to find the familiar sweet spot. He swipes them gently over the sensitive nerve endings there.

 

"Ahhhaaa. Ahhhhh. Oh Go- Ahhhaa."

 

As he sees John's legs trembling, his hands fisting the sheets, Rodney’s throat groans in satisfaction around John’s cock and he speeds up his tempo.

 

"Oh... Oh, God. How do you do this to me? Rodn.... Ahhhhhhh. John reaches for a pillow and places it over his face, making muffled sounds into the fabric as he groans in pleasure.

 

He keeps milking John's cock with his mouth and teasing his prostate. John moans and writhes.

 

Finally John throws the pillow off the bed, "Ahhhh... I can't take it anymore! You're gonna make me cum."

 

Reluctantly pulling his head back, Rodney watches John's cock bounce back to an upright position. He should have paced himself, made it last longer. Instead, he kisses the insides of John's thighs and reaches to the ground for the fallen pillow.

 

Rolling John's knees back, Rodney places the pillow under his pert ass and positions himself to take him completely. Sighing with desire, Rodney reaches for his own stiff cock, generously applying lube and lining it up against John's hole.

 

Struck by John's handsome form, Rodney speaks without thinking, "You make me ache just looking at you. God." Instead of pushing in, he leans forward to kiss him instead. Grazing his lips over John's full mouth, kissing the full bottom, then the bowed top... Reverently, Rodney places his lips over John's and licks the seam.

 

John tilts his head back and opens his lips, letting Rodney show him how he wants to possess him, to make love to him tonight. His tongue laps and dances slowly inside John's mouth, dominant but incredibly tender.

 

Holding his cock at John's entrance, Rodney lets the slick head brush and slide along John's crack.

 

"You're everything to me, Em." He sweetly kisses below John’s rapt expression of surrender.

 

He presses his forehead against John's and whispers fiercely, "I will never let you go." His lips take John’s in his again for moment. " _Never_ let you go." Unable to hold back any more, he pushes the head of his cock demanding that John allow him entrance.

 

John moans as Rodney pushes harder and begins to sink into the tight hole. Wrapping his long legs around Rodney's back, John hooks his feet into each other, allowing Rodney to slide all the way inside of him.

 

"Ohhhhhhh." The pleasure makes Rodney dizzy for a moment.

 

His hips thrust forward, as deep as he can possibly go. Then leaning forward, he gives John time to adjust to the fullness and trails kisses under John's jawline, licking the sensitive hollow behind his ear.

 

"That's right... Rodney begins to grind slowly, timing a small thrust as he whispers in John's ear, "You're mine now."

 

“Unghh…” John turns his head to find Rodney's lips.

 

As Rodney thrusts a little harder, John catches Rodney's mouth in his teeth and sucks on the lower lip.

 

Using the hand that is still slick with lube, Rodney pulls on John's cock, timing it perfectly with another thrust.

 

"Uhhhh" John releases his lip.

 

Changing his angle, Rodney releases John's legs and pins them practically back to his ears while grinding on his prostate. John's arm reaches down to cup Rodney's ass and follow the rhythm of the slow grinding and thrusting.

 

"O-ohhh... Rodney. God.... You fuck me so good..."

 

Rodney whispers the tip of his tongue behind John's ear, "Mine..."

 

As he laps his tongue across the sensitive skin behind John's lobe, John whimpers and pants breathlessly, "Mmm... yours"

 

Smiling with satisfaction Rodney closes his eyes and concentrates on building John up to the perfect climax. He knows what John wants, he knows what he needs without being told.

 

As John's body begins to shiver, Rodney strokes his face with love and then reaches back down to John's bursting cock. His hand sliding over it as he rocks his hips purposefully, deep and hard inside John's tight ass.

 

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* * *

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John is falling and it feels wonderful. Only for the first time that wonderful sensation is tinged with a darkness, a fear.

 

He tries to shut it out but he can feel it curling at the edges of his mind. He has had a taste of just how broken he would be if Rodney left him. What it would feel like if...

 

Oh God. If Rodney lets go, drops that part of his soul that he pulls from John's body… It will shatter into a million pieces and destroy him.

 

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* * *

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John's body goes limp and then ridged, shaking and spasming out of control. Rodney keeps his rhythm steady, making sure to sustain John's orgasm as long as possible.

 

At first, John is quiet as if he is holding his breath and finally at the end he screams. "Ahhhh! Ahhhhh! AHHHHH! OH GOD! RODNEY!"

 

Then John goes slack looking up at him with an expression of deep surrender.

 

"I love you." Rodney says it like he is begging John to believe him. He kisses John's swollen lips, and tells him again. "I love you."

 

Rodney lets himself thrust faster and stronger now. He keeps staring into John's eyes, as if to hold him captive. "I love you.... I love you."

 

As Rodney feels the coil of exquisite pleasure finally unfurl from his loins and radiate out through his extremities, he keeps his eyes locked on John, "Oh-h, Go-od. Love-you. OHHHHhhhhhh."

 

He lets his head fall forward onto John's shoulder and hears him whisper, "I love you too, Mere. Nothing in this world I've ever loved more."

 

As bright as the love between them feels, Rodney can hear a hint of sadness in John’s voice and wraps his arms around him pulling him into a full embrace. _Please believe me, Em. Please know how much I love you._

 

John tangles his arms and legs with his, holding Rodney tightly for a long time before his grip loosens. After lying quietly together in the soft afterglow, they slowly make their way to the shower.

 

Sleepy and affectionate, John pulls Rodney back into his chest murmuring, "So beautiful, Mere."

 

Despite the late hour, they kiss languidly under the falling water. Then delirious, they stumble back into the bedroom. Rodney watches with half slit eyes as John makes a fresh bed and then climbs in curving into John’s back.

 

In the darkness, he can feel John thinking; and somehow he knows John's eyes are open staring at nothing again. Rodney wraps his arms around John’s chest and kisses the back of his neck. Somehow it seems like they are right back to where this all started.

 

"Rodney?"

 

"Yes?" He brushes his lips along the nape of John's neck.

 

"I'll think of something -just... Just please wait for me a little longer?"

 

“John." Rodney sighs sadly, "I’d wait forever, I’ll love you till the end of time."

 

"Not forever. Just a little longer... Will you do that for me?"

 

In exasperation, Rodney rests his teeth lightly on John's shoulder and shakes him, "Grrrrrr. Yes! A thousand times, yes."

 

"Okay." John laughs a little at that at least.

 

Rodney folds his arm tenderly around John and leans his head over his shoulder, "Goodnight, love of my life."

 

John rolls over, his eyes shining in the darkness. He takes Rodney's face in his hands and kisses him fully and sweetly, "Goodnight... My love." He kisses Rodney one last time and then rolls back to his side.

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When he wakes, Rodney is alone. He looks over to John's side of the bed sadly and spies a small square piece of paper sitting on the empty pillow. Rodney palms it and blinks.

 

There is a simple heart drawn on it... and inside John has written the words, "I will think of something".

 

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* * *

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A deep sadness has returned to John's heart. That feeling he used to live with, the reality that Rodney couldn't be his. It has come back to haunt him... The fear that he isn’t enough, that Rodney will realize it too and know John isn’t the one who deserves him. Not the one who can make him happy and ultimately give him what he wants. It is a hollow place that has begun to crumble in his chest from the inside out, eroding his once sure footing that Rodney was finally his.

 

Despite what he believes is inevitable, John can’t give up. He will die trying even if it means letting himself fall without anything to protect his heart. It doesn’t matter if he shatters into a million pieces. Nothing matters without Rodney.

 

Stealing himself like he would for battle, John prepares to fight to the death for the man he loves, no matter how futile it might seem. He can’t –he won’t lose Rodney; he won't let anyone or anything take Rodney from him ever again. He will think of something.

 

Later that day he has a talk with Vala about toning down the public displays of affection. And perhaps inspired by the memory of Vala’s three-pronged attack a plan begins to take form somewhere in the back of his mind, a way to keep Rodney close. A way that he can give him at least some of what he needs...

 

Missing the days when he had his own room, John finds a disused lab where he can work secretly and uninterrupted. He sits in the abandoned lab, thinking deeply. He can’t give Rodney the family he wants... at least not physically.

 

He would marry Rodney if it was legal... It was a stupid idea to get those rings made. He can’t really ask Rodney to marry him. It would be wrong to try to give them to him out of desperation. It has to be special; he wants it to be real.

 

His hope rests with the idea that if he could give Rodney a feeling of a home, that maybe he could make Rodney feel ‘settled down’ the way he said he wanted to be. It’s not much but it might give their relationship a chance. The idea of losing Rodney is more than he can bear. He curses out loud as he feels his throat getting tight and his eyes get glassy. This is all he can do. John sighs, returning to designing the blueprints and working on the legal documents.

 

It's horrible feeling this desperate and needy, but John has never needed anyone so much in his life. At night, he can touch Rodney, run his hands across the smooth skin, taste him on his mouth... and God, when Rodney gives him his huge cock, when John can feel it pumping inside him, everything is so perfect. There is nothing but the bliss and the happiness of being so close. He isn't as afraid then. He lets himself try to forget the hollow feeling of everything crumbling to ruins.

 

Rodney keeps telling him he is ready for more and wants John to take him. But John is terrified he will do something wrong, that he will hurt Rodney again somehow and cause their fragile house of cards to fall apart. He asks Rodney to be patient, to give him a little more time. He has a plan now; he just needs a little more time.  
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	14. Rodney longs to have John fuck him again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .  
>  _Determined not to lose Rodney, to give him everything he's ever wanted, John concocts a new plan.  
> ._

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One of these days Rodney would love to go to New Athos for himself; Teyla tells him it is beautiful out there. The Athosians have finished construction of the village and are undertaking projects for them to gain self-sufficiency with farming, livestock, and other cottage industries. John keeps saying that he wants to be the one to give him a tour, but it never seems to happen, they just never seem to find the time. Rodney is eager to finally see it all -the ranch, New Athos, and the developments sites that Dave has purchased on some nearby land.

 

After nearly 10 months of international negotiations, the permanent site that the IOA has settled on isn't far from where the Athosians are creating their new home. Just down the Californian Coast, out of the way from the maritime shipping lanes.

 

Now that Atlantis has become the main hub of the SGC, the IOA is ratcheting up the pressure to find more ZPMs and pressing hard for trade of weapons grade minerals and searching for new technologies. The chair defense platform on Atlantis is now Earth's first and last line defense, and cloaking the city is a constant drain of power.

 

Missions in the Milky Way haven't been as exciting as they were in the Pegasus galaxy, but Rodney is thankful that his life is no longer being placed in constant jeopardy. The teams keep searching for more of the rare ZPM modules, but Rodney thinks their best chances of finding some lie with developing his Zero Point technology to travel to other dimensions. Unfortunately, Woolsey and the IOA doesn't seem to share his perspective and has opted not to fund his experimental designs.

 

Rodney makes sure to keep the best research projects and tech centered at Atlantis instead of letting them get shipped off to the rebuilt facilities at Area 51. But most of his free time is spent working on the information downloaded from the alternate reality Daedalus. He knows he is getting close to perfecting his Zero Point energy source for his wormhole drive. And there has to be a way to correct the navigational schematics his alternate selves designed for a Parallel Universe Drive, his PUD. He's close to finding the answer.

 

It wouldn’t be so improbable to recreate a ship; one not unlike the Daedalus they encountered skipping through the various realities of parallel universes. And Rodney's theoretical ship wouldn’t need to be that big. With the ability to jump instantly through space or time, a large crew and supplies wouldn’t be required for an extended voyage. At least once he gets the design right. He's tried selling Woolsey on the idea that it could be done with less expense on a smaller scale, but the IOA still isn't buying it.

 

Despite the fact that John still regards the research as dangerous, he has helped Rodney convince Dave to use one of his companies to buy the development rights to Rodney's designs. As part of the deal, Dave promised Rodney naming rights for the prototype once it is ready. John laughed long and hard when he heard about that arrangement, promising not to let Dave forget his blunder. That’s when Dave added the caveat that the vessel not be called 'Enterprise'. Which, by the way, would have been a perfect name for the ship, but whatever.

 

Still, John is always harping on him about the dangers, old and new, that they might encounter in parallel universes. But Rodney thinks they are likely to find some allies as well. He’s been able to trace the location of the reality where the Wraith transmission came from, the one that gave the coordinates to Earth. It seems like the signal splintered and tore a rift in subspace due to an interrupted shut down of an unstable power source. If that alternate reality succeeded in stopping the Wraith transmission in their own universe, it means there's at least one other version of Earth out there that has managed to keep the Wraith from reaching the Milky Way.

 

Whatever concerns John may have, Rodney pretends to consider them with uncharacteristic humility. He still feels so guilty about that incident with Sara, for saying all those things about wanting to get married and have kids; he knows how deeply it cut into John’s trust.

 

Not that John has brought it up since. Actually, he has been especially careful with Rodney’s feelings. The feigned public displays of affection with Vala have been minimal and John spends a lot less time with her now. Things almost feel like they are back to the way they used to be, with John coming by the lab all the time to hang out with him even if Rodney is preoccupied with his pet project.

 

It had been more difficult convincing Ronon to forgive him. After getting an earful the day after the fake date incident, Ronon had been stony and silent around him for some time. It was only after a lot of begging and pleading that Ronon begrudgingly let him off the hook. At least Daniel seems to be coming out ahead from the whole encounter; he and Lucy have been inseparable ever since. It seems strange to Rodney now to recall that he was ever opposed to Daniel and Vala joining the team, the five of them have such a natural balance working together on missions.

 

Setting aside his tablet, Rodney realizes that he is running late to meet John back at their room. The equations can wait. He hurries from the lab eager to take advantage of their evening together. He is so ready to give himself to John, he's been aching for it. And it bothers him more than a little that John doesn't seem to want it as much as he does.

 

Something has changed between them since the night when John admitted he thought he was going to lose Rodney. They still wrestle and play-act their little games about the past, but there is something wild and desperate in their lovemaking now, like John needs something from him that he is afraid he is about to lose.

 

Even though Rodney has grown strong from his sparring lessons, John throws him around on the bed as easily as a ragdoll. When John straddles him, looking down at him with those smiling eyes, slightly mocking and tender, Rodney longs for more. He wants to feel John's strength taking him, taking his whole body.

 

When Rodney gets back to their room, he is surprised to find that John isn’t there. Usually he’s never the one running late.

 

Then the hidden panel door opens and John steps in from Vala’s quarters a bit breathless, “Sorry. You been waiting long?”

 

“Yeah.” Rodney lies.

 

“Just, ah,” John sidles up to Rodney and pulls him in, “got caught up in a project.”

 

Rodney gives him a look of feigned irritation, “What could possibly be more important than me, Colonel?”

 

“Nothing” John snakes his long arms around Rodney’s waist; one of his hands reaches down to Rodney’s ass and he makes a sound of satisfaction as he squeezes it.

 

Running his hands up the back of John’s hair, Rodney buries his head into the crook of John’s neck, breathing in the intoxicating smell. He can feel John is already hard for him and rubs his own swollen cock into John’s leg. Consumed by lust, Rodney imagines what it would be like to have John inside him again.

 

"God, I want you so bad." Rodney reaches down to grip John’s shaft through his pants, “I want you to fuck me."

 

"Me too.” John husks. “Just not yet."

 

"Then when?" Rodney whines.

 

"This weekend.” John lifts Rodney’s head, holding it possessively in his hands, his eyes glazed with desire, “I have a surprise for you."

 

Hoping that John really means he only has to wait until the weekend, Rodney sighs and grabs John roughly, “Let’s get you out of these clothes.”

 

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As they strip and make their way to the shower, John savors the delicious skin on skin contact. He seeks Rodney's mouth with deep hunger and a desperation to keep him close.

 

Leaning Rodney back against the shower wall, John takes control of the rhythm, jacking them both in his strong hand. Rodney gasps and sighs into John's mouth as he steals the tender in-between moments. He loves it when Rodney surrenders himself like this. He wants to possess Rodney utterly, to feel him give himself over completely.

 

Not like it was the first time they were together -never like that again. He can’t risk hurting Rodney. Not after everything Rodney has been through… It has to be right, John has to be worthy of him, to deserve it or he is sure it will break something irreparable between them.

 

He wants it to be right, he wants to... Oh... John gets lost in the perfection of Rodney's biceps, kissing them, softly biting into them, running a hand over the smooth skin. God, he was such an idiot not to realize how deeply he had fallen in love with Rodney right from the beginning.

 

But then Rodney breaks the spell, pulling him from the shower and onto the bed. Spreading lube on the crease of his ass Rodney lies down on his stomach, inviting John to do more. Exhaling with desire, John slowly lowers down onto Rodney's back. His cock finds the wet crease and he moans sliding between Rodney's tight cheeks.

 

"Oh God." John speaks without thinking, "You have no idea how much I want to take you right now."

 

"You can have me, John" Rodney's voice shakes with longing.

 

 _Focus John._ He bites down into the soft skin on Rodney's shoulder. "Not yet, Mere. I want it to be right. Soon, I promise."

 

Peeling himself away, he slicks his hand with lube, rolling Rodney onto his back and stroking them both; staring into those beautiful blue eyes and watching Rodney's face melt into ecstasy just for him, so wide and vulnerable. In these moments it is impossible to believe Rodney could love anyone else. John attacks Rodney’s mouth and kisses it desperately.

 

He knows Rodney can feel the fear by the way he tries to answer him in response. His lips beg John to believe him. And it’s not that John doesn’t, it's just… he doesn't trust Rodney to be honest enough with himself. Rodney would try to deny himself anything to make John happy, and John can't live with that. He can't live with Rodney being unhappy in any way.

 

Readying himself, John straddles Rodney, easing himself down,"Ahhhhhh ahhhh. Oh, God.” He lets Rodney's fat cock slowly impale him as he sinks all the way down.

 

"You feel so good, baby." Rodney's hands pull on John's hips, holding him and rocking into the motion.

 

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They groan in pleasure together and Rodney watches as John’s perfect green eyes flutter and roll back into his head. When they open again, everything is spilling out of them, adoration, wonder, trust, but the fear is still there.

 

Sitting up, Rodney has to kiss the man he loves so much. He pulls John into him rocking his hip with one hand, guiding him up and down on his cock while he strokes John’s shaft. Their lovemaking tonight is slow and haunting. He watches John's face in awe as he gasps and Rodney doesn't think he has ever seen him look more beautiful.

 

Then John calls his name softly "Mere, I love you."

 

“I'll never let you go." Rodney fiercely reminds him, "I love you too much... you’re mine."

 

That seems to send John over the edge; he quickens his pace and pants with lust as he grinds on Rodney's cock. Rodney pulls deeper and harder as John's dick throbs in his hand. And then he feels himself losing control, his balls constrict and his cock swells, ready to cum. Pulling John down as deep as he can, Rodney screams out in pleasure.

 

As Rodney lets go, spilling his cum into John's ass, John's body shudders and convulses; he cries out as his own orgasm reaches a climax. His mouth clamps down again on Rodney's shoulder, biting at first and then sucking as the warm spray of his cum spurts through Rodney's fingers and onto his stomach. Then he reaches his long arms around Rodney, resting his head on his shoulder.

 

The desperation seems to be gone now. Relaxed, John leans forward causing Rodney to fall back onto the bed.

 

Rodney laughs as he loses balance, "Fuck."

 

John grabs a small towel from the nightstand, wiping them both clean, then pulling Rodney up to the head of the bed with him.

 

Giddy with the afterglow Rodney snuggles into John; He gushes unabashedly, "You should know. The thing is... Really, I’m totally fucking in love with you."

 

"That's good.” John kisses him dominantly, “That means I have you exactly where I want you."

 

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"So Daniel?"

 

"Mmm?"

 

"I was wondering, how come you and me never got together?"

 

"Funny Vala." Daniel answers tightly, in no mood for one of her games.

 

"I'm serious. You can't deny that there's always been a certain... chemistry between us."

 

"Uh..." Daniel makes a face of restrained annoyance, "What are you doing here?"

 

Vala shrugs and props her elbows on the tall table with an easy smile.

 

"That's what I thought.” Daniel sighs grumpily, “Can't you find someone else to bug?"

 

"But I want to know, why are you with Miss Merri-whatever?" Vala pouts.

 

"It's called dating." Daniel sorts some of his books without looking up.

 

"And so, why didn't we ever date?"

 

"Oh, gee." Daniel squints sarcastically, "So many reasons, I wouldn't know where to start... Ah, you're a liar and you like to play with people's emotions, can't be trusted... And... If I ever get to the point where I’m ready to seriously get involved with someone again, the last person, and I mean the absolute _last_ person in this universe I would choose would be you."

 

Daniel continues a bit hurt, "And frankly I'm insulted that you keep toying with me like this. I don't know what the point is, but I’m tired of being the butt of your joke. So, no. Thanks, but I don't want to play."

 

When Daniel looks up from his rant, Vala's face is unusually stark. Her eyes are shiny, but he has seen her fake tears before and isn't going to be so easily duped.

 

Her voice cracks a little, "I didn't realize that you had such a low opinion of me. Sorry to... Sorry to bother you." Vala turns and quickly walks out of the room.

 

This is probably just an act, but still... Daniel feels a pang of guilt. He gets up and walks out after her. She is standing with her back to him at the end of the hall, wiping at her face with her sleeves. It looks almost authentic, her shoulders shake slightly and then she continues walking, rounding the corner away from him.

 

If this is an act, it wouldn't be the first time she has produced crocodile tears to manipulate him... but that was a long time ago. She hasn't done anything like that in years. Daniel sighs and walks to the transporter, heading to John's, well, Vala's room now. He isn't sure if she is there but rings the bell anyway.

 

"It's open." She answers. Daniel waves his hand over the sensor and walks in.

 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes are red and puffy, "What are you doing here?"

 

"Uh, I thought I might have hurt your feelings...” Daniel fumbles, “and, ah, I didn't mean to."

 

"Don't worry about it." Vala winces at him, "I'm a liar without feelings, remember?"

 

She turns her head away from him. "You can go now."

 

"Look, I don't think...” Daniel steps forward uncertainly, “I mean, you're my friend and the last thing I meant to do is hurt your feelings."

 

"You just didn't think I had any." Vala gives a tight smile.

 

"Well, sometimes you’re hard to read, you're kind of… Well, nothing ever seems that serious to you."

 

"Right." Vala nods resolutely, "I just thought maybe after all this time, maybe I would be forgiven for my past indiscretions. I mean, I was simply trying to survive by my wits after being sold into slavery and taken as a Goa'uld host."

 

She looks at him defensively, "You know, I lost a lot of things along the way, including the ability to have children, -unless you count the wonderful experience of being impregnated by an alien host. But the ONE thing I managed to hold onto was my sense of humor. So I _apologize_ for not being serious or perfect enough to meet your standards."

 

Daniel sits down next to her and touches her shoulder, "Look, Vala, you're gorgeous and sexy, and you don't need me to tell you that. I'm sure most people would be happy-"

 

"Just not you." Vala blinks and a few stray tears fall down her cheek.

 

Daniel frowns in confusion, "I'm sorry if I've misjudged you. I just… you've never seemed like someone to get too attached or develop deeper feelings… that way."

 

"But you are?" Vala whispers the question.

 

"Well, yeah.” Daniel drops his guard, “I think you know that, and that's why it's fun for you to play these games with me, because you know-"

 

"Bu-but I wasn't playing games,” Vala interrupts, “well, maybe a little at first. But I was trying to flirt with you."

 

"I got that part." Daniel squeezes her arm gently, "I just think you know we’re pretty different and we want different things."

 

"This is the part where I'm not good enough." Vala’s throat sounds tight and constricted.

 

"No-"

 

"I have feelings." Vala turns to him suddenly with a pleading expression, tears glistening in her eyes, "It's just hard for me to be… Okay, if that's what you want, I'll try...

 

Okay.” She sniffs and wipes her face with her sleeve, "I do have feelings. I have feelings for you Daniel, I have for a long time. I thought I could win you over with my pluck and charm but that hasn't worked.

 

So now... I'll, I'll" Vala swallows a big gulp of air, "Okay. Vulnerability... I want to be closer to you because I know we have a connection, and I want more. Because I feel more.”

 

Vala pauses then speaks quickly with her words running together, “And I don't want you to go and fall in love with someone else because _I_ love you. And I know that’s still probably not good enough but-"

 

Daniel reaches his hand out to wipe a falling tear from her cheek. He peers into her eyes deeply, warning her, "You'd better not be fucking with me."

 

Vala shakes her head with innocent sincerity and Daniel lets himself hope... His hands take the sides of her face and he brushes her lips with his thumb.

 

"Please, Daniel..." Vala gives a little shudder.

 

He is either about to make the most foolish or wonderful mistake of his life. He can't be sure which, but Daniel doesn't care anymore. His chest fills with warm desire and he takes her mouth in his.

 

It is perfectly delicate and full. He’s imagined what it would be like so many times, but it was never this good. He pulls her into him, giving into the passion and realizing that somewhere along the way, he may have accidently fallen in love with her too.

 

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John is pleased with how his plans are coming together. Ronon and Jennifer were the first to say yes, they had been very enthusiastic about it. Teyla was of course thrilled by the opportunity for her family to be closer to her people. Carson was excited once he heard there was a stream with trout in it. But Daniel and Vala are proving a little trickier.

 

"Really? Move again?" Daniel complains, "After all that?"

 

"You can have a whole house," John spreads his hands, "Hell, I can even build one to your liking if you want."

 

"When you say house...?" Vala interjects.

 

"No, no, don't be ridiculous, I don’t need you to build a me house. I just don't like moving." Daniel laughs.

 

"It could be a library,” John tries to entice him, “or a big archeological thing or whatever. A place where all your stuff could go- Anyway, the point is, I really want you there."

 

"Does a castle count as a house?" Vala queries.

 

Daniel rolls his eyes at her, but John jumps at the idea, "Sure Vala. If that's what it takes, we'll build you one."

 

"Oh Goody!" Vala claps in excitement, "I always wanted my own castle. Does it come with any titles?"

 

"Call yourself whatever you like, just don't expect anyone to care." John answers with a wry look. "And castles take some time to build, so you'll need to be willing to stay in the main house for a while."

 

"You had me at castle." Vala beams.

 

"So, just think,” John turns his attention back to Daniel, “we could build you a library where you'd have all your research books, or a lab as big as you like. The Asgard beaming technology can take us to Atlantis anytime we need to be on base. It would just be so much better if we were all there together.

 

And you know, with Rodney." John drops the sales pitch and speaks more honestly, "I want to be able to give him at least a little of what he really wanted. Right now, I'm coming up pretty short. If you don't like it you wouldn't have to stay, you could keep your quarters on base-"

 

Daniel's slings his arm around John’s shoulder. "Sign me up."

 

"Really?" John grins.

 

"Yeah, why not. I’ll give it a try."

 

With most of his ducks in row, John walks towards Woolsey's office with a spring in his step. He can do this. He can talk Woolsey into letting the entire senior staff move off base. It's not like they'll be that far away. Just 15 minutes or so to the coast station by car, to reach Atlantis 30 tops. But with the Asgard beaming technology installed in Atlantis it will be instantaneous, faster than the transports in the city itself. With their location transmitters, any of them could beam on site faster than getting around the city on foot. Just a push of a button away.

 

Really, there is no rational reason Woolsey could say no. At least not one that John hasn’t already thought of an excuse for. Thinking about the upcoming weekend, a confident grin spreads across John's face. Just two more days... This plan is going to succeed.

 

John reaches up to his cheeks wondering why they hurt so much. Ah, The smiling. So much smiling he feels like a kid in a secret fort.  
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End file.
